Bitchin' Buttercup

Goodbye Clementine

2005-01-11T17:28:00.000-05:00

That is what the subject line read in an e-mail from the ex. For those of you that didn't see the movie it's a reference to the lead female character in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I always that movie was weirdly based on our relationship. The arguments over kids, the intense love/hate passion between the two characters, the chance meeting and the need to erase it all once it was done. I can't type this post without crying. I don't mean tear drops but a strong wailing cry. I have never had someone leave my life and have it hurt this much. I didn't speak to my godfather for a year over a heated argument ( and I was prepared to stay mad forever) and it didn't hurt like this.

I finally had some e-mail closure over what was with the ex. I told him about my new boyfriend the DJ- I dumped the DJ for the ex a year and a half ago only to be dumped three months later by the ex. I also told him how the DJ made me promise I would never see the ex again. I am happy I have that final visual in my head of saying goodbye to my ex after my last reading. It really will be the last time I see him since I know the DJ doesn't want me to be friends or have any face to face contact with the ex.

How is it in life that you connect with people in such a way only to have them fade into a memory later? I guess I figured certain people would always be around and the ex had become one of those people, regardless of our relationship status, he had seen me through so much and vice versa. He is still one of the few people I want to call when I am down (like now) except I can't. I think that is the foundation of my fear of getting close to people - the fact that eventually they may leave. I figure, why bother trying to connect with people and so I live my life bouncing from one superficial relationship to another. Hopefully this time and this relationship will be different.

New Year, Better Blogger

2005-01-08T16:38:00.000-05:00

Happy Belated New Year's. I had a good time chilling at a couple of parties. Nothing much has been happening with me. I have been helping the DJ run his companies. I decided to take the money and run from my old job. I don't feel like taking the time and energy to pursue litigation against them and I don't even have the energy to negotiate with them. I think this is the best option for my ease.

So of course in the span of a month the DJ and I almost broke up twice. I don't know why I do this to guys - I just start to pull away the minute things get too serious. We have worked things out for now and I going to have to learn to trust him and trust that our relationship is strong enough to overcome minor obstacles. Now that he is off at the AVN (Adult Video Awards) I have had some time to think. No, my boyfriend is not planning on being in any movies - he also runs a DVD business and is putting together a new DVD featuring porn stars.

In other news, I have a job offer on the table, pending passing a drug test. I am a bit nervous about the drug test as I occasionally puff a little cheeba. Hopefully all the tips I have been getting will work and my system will come back clean. It sucks that I have to refrain because the DJ brought me some great sticky to keep me busy while he was gone.

Hope all is well. Sorry I have been gone for so long. I have learned to post via e-mail so the next post won't take so long.

New Year's Part Deux

2004-12-27T12:25:00.000-05:00

The boyfriend is coming home for New Year's!!! And no, it's not because of me. They cancelled doing a show on New Year's eve for lack of promotion so he will be here tomorrow. Luckily, I spent all day yesterday cleaning his apartment so it could be ready for when he gets back. DJ's are not exactly neat. Imagine matching thousands of CDs with their rightful cases and you have a small idea of what I went through yesterday. I am just glad its over.

So now, what to do on New Year's Eve. I will give you an idea of where I will end up, if any of you New Yorker's know of the Last Poet's New Year's bash, there is a good chance you will see me there. If you have no idea what I am talking about - good! I don't have to worry about running into folks I don't know.

Happy Monday. It was for me since I just woke up and I am still getting paid for working today!!!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that good shit

2004-12-25T12:38:00.000-05:00

So my boyfriend is off in Bahrain entertaining the troops and I am stuck here in NJ watching his house, his BMW (which I wish I could drive), and his dog. This is when I wonder if I would make a good wife. I am so selfish that all I could think about today was that if we had not made it official, we could still be dating and I could be enjoying Christmas with some other guy today. That's the way I miss people - I temporarily replace them. He tells me he may stay through the New Year to do another show. I told him I was happy for him - why ask him to turn down nice money to spend the New Year with me. But secretly I was wondering who I should call to spend the New Year with. I'll be damned if I am going to spend it alone sitting in his apartment. Since all my girlfriends have boyfriends, its not like I can ask to be third wheel to their plans.

So on Christmas as I enjoy the new Sidekick my boyfriend got me, all I can think about is did I do this exclusive shit too soon. I don't know if I am ready for this level of commitment.

Post for Baby Girl

2004-12-22T15:59:00.000-05:00

Three names you go by:
1. Buttercup
2. JB (juicy booty)
3. toughie woofie (by my boyfriend when he thinks I am trying to be tough)

Three screennames you have:
1. Buttercupsnoopy
2. The others are all my gov't - sorry!

Three things you like about yourself:
1. My eyes
2. My lips
3. My sarcastic sense of humor

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. My butt - I have an ass like Ki-Toy (according to the boyfriend) I would prefer one like Naomi's instead.
2. My propensity for anger
3. My flakiness

Three parts of your heritage:
1. African-American
2. Cuban
3. Panamanian

Three things that scare you:
1. Being broke
2. Being unhappy
3. Not finding my soul mate

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. iPod
2. Sidekick II
3. Vaseline Intensive Care (cherry flavor)

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Ivory off the shoulder cashmere sweater
2. Green J. Crew cords
3. Lace tanga underpants

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
1. Alicia Keys
2. Jay-Z
3. Nina Simone

Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. Only You - Ashanti
2. Number One Spot - Ludacris
3. Karma - Alicia Keys

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Start a business
2. A job not in the legal field
3. Learn to drive

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Compassion
2. Nurturing
3. Humor

Two truths and a lie:
1. I danced with Jay-Z at Club Rebar in 1998
2. I stabbed an ex-boyfriend
3. I think some stereotypes are true.

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
1. Breasts - I am 97% straight, but I love women's breasts. Maybe because mine are not as big as I would like.
2. Legs - Large and cut like a runner's
3. Penis - Long and fat (the only way they should be made)

Three things you just can't do:
1. Sing
2. Be fake
3. Pass a dog without a hello

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Shopping
2. Traveling
3. Reading

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. Go see the boyfriend before he leaves for Bahrain
2. Wrap my presents
3. See my mother and wish her happy birthday

Three careers you're considering:
1. Entrepreneur
2. Managing my boyfriend
3. Hustling (not drugs)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Bora Bora
2. Mykanos
3. Australia

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Get married (January here I come!)
2. Jump from a plane
3. Pilot a helicopter

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
1. Lex
2. Reef
3. NY Prepster

Weird Wednesday

2004-12-22T11:39:00.000-05:00

Today has been a weird day.

It's my mother's birthday. We don't speak much but I feel bad I won't see her today because I have been staying with the DJ all week.
I was told my last day at work can be today and I will get paid through the end of the month. I was also offered an additional month of pay should I sign a waiver of claims against the firm....sounds like an admission of guilt if I do say so myself
I had a dream that the DJ had two sons, fraternal twins born on the same day. I was there supporting him, but I wasn't the one giving birth to the children.
The DJ had a dream that he and I went snowboarding together. He said I was okay, but didn't hold a candle to his snowboarding skills.

What am I to make of all of this? I am not sure. I just know that I feel like I am starting a new path with everything. I have been taking risks with the DJ allowing myself to be loved and learning to love him in return which I have not done since the ex. I am leaving yet another job, no real prospects in sight for work and I am not remotely worried about it. In the new year, I will deal with the ramifications of this. For now, I can't wait to see the DJ tonight and spend a few hours with him before he leaves for Bahrain for a show.

Vacation Week

2004-12-17T15:52:00.000-05:00

I have been on vacation most of the week. I didn't get further than NY (where DJ lives) but I still had a fun week none the less. My favorite thing about having a boyfriend - domestic activities. How much fun is grocery shopping and home shopping. Since DJ has been living in his almost barren condo for almost a year, we decided to get some things to spruce up the place. Purchases included a fab Calphalon non-stick pan set which I have already cooked for us and the dog in. I also finished up all my Christmas shopping - on the internet of course. Its great to have a guy who lives in NJ. Now I just pay for shipping to his place instead of tax!

I gave my notice today at work. It was such a relief. My bosses boss had the nerve to leave me a voice-mail which stated "I received your e-mail and we accept your resignation." Accept it???!!!??? Since when do they have a choice? Now the only thing I am worried about (besides cutting back on shopping) is the fact that they might not let me work out my two weeks notice. For some reason, they want me to hand over all my projects today by close of business. I am kind of sorry I didn't wait until the end of the day to send out my notice.

So honesty is not always the best policy. I told DJ about sleeping with my ex the day before he left for L.A. We were not official boyfriend/girlfriend at that time and ex sex is not something you can control all the time. He was pissed because he realized that this is the same ex that I dumped him for almost 2 years ago. Now its gotten to the point where he has the ex's address and wants to pay him a visit if he interferes with our relationship again. Who knew the DJ was gully!!??!! Secretly it was sweet that he would go to these lengths to make sure the ex didn't fuck up our thing again.

Tonight the DJ and I are going to see Paul Mooney. If you hear a news report about a white, Jewish hip hop DJ assaulting a well known comedian, that's us. I am hoping I can restrain him. Let's hope Paul Mooney goes easy on our interracial thing.

Have a good weekend!

Bad Blogger

2004-12-12T08:50:00.000-05:00

I know I have been a bad blogger lately. A failed hard drive will usually do it. I also have been trying to look busy at work by actually being busy (I am not a good liar).

The reading on Monday was a blast. I went first again and despite my almost non-existent voice, I did well. I wrote a piece about my relationship with Jay - my best male friend who I kind of date but don't have sex with. Jay and my ex were in the audience. Not only did the ex finally realize that I really didn't have anything going with Jay but he also for the first time heard details of some of our antics as well as heard first hand. that I did fuck another good friend of my while on vacation in Cuba. Oops. I kind of subconsciously wanted it to go down like that. At the end of the night, he didn't really want to hang out. He told he purchased a new car - an old school Range Rover (my favorite). I commented "Wow, you brought my car. Now I have one more reason to hate you. I was half joking and half serious. He parted ways with Jay and I and I have not heard from him since. I sent him an e-mail thanking him for coming out and he did not respond. I really think I hurt him with the way things went on Monday. The best part was that it felt good. He put me through highs and lows no human should have to experience with the same person. I was happy to send him to a similar low so he could have a taste of what he did to me.

Jay is one of the few people who really saw what I went through with the ex. The tears, the pain, the turmoil. I was glad he could be there to see the finale between us. We are officially over. No friendship, no cuddling, no e-mails, no talks, nothing. It took me over two years but I was finally able to get over him. Moving on with the guy who I dumped for him in the past helped somewhat. The DJ has proven to me that I can and will do better and he has no idea how happy that makes me feel.

So, I guess I should also tell everyone I officially have a boyfriend. This is a guy I see a future with. The whole nine yards - ring, kids, white picket fence, etc. I hate to say it, it really pains me to say it because I was enjoying my reality of men not living up to my standard - but he makes me happy. So, I am happy now. I'm still going to be Buttercup, but probably less bitchy.

Updates for French Kitty

2004-12-06T10:29:00.000-05:00

I can't type too much because I am feeling like shit and I have loads of work to do today, but I wanted to dish on my weekend.

First to answer one question, yes Prada Manager has one son and although he looks young, he is 30 so he just meets the age requirement.

Friday night DJ picked me up from work. I tried to cancel informing him that I was feeling rather sick, but he insisted on taking me back to his place, going grocery shopping and cooking lobster, stuffing and salad for dinner. Buttercup never turns down a man cooked meal. The food was delicious - I love lobster! Afterwards, DJ admitted to messing up the first two batches of stuffing. Unfortunately, despite the energy from a good meal, my health deteriorated over the weekend and I had hot flashes and night sweats as well as the chills, a fever, sore throat and nausea for the remainder of the weekend. On Sunday, I decided to go see a doctor and got some antibiotics which have been working wonders since.

7 more days of work at this shit firm for me. The whole two weeks notice time period doesn't count. Who does real work once they have decided they are leaving?

2004-12-03T15:48:00.000-05:00

Last night I had dinner at Coffee Shop with some of the writer's who will be performing this Monday at Inner monologues 2. If you are in NY and interested in coming, feel free to send me an e-mail at bitchinbuttercup@yahoo.com and I will send you the details. On my way walking into the restaurant, I spotted a guy at the bar who I had dealt with over 5 years ago and proceeded to turn my head so that he would not see me. That's one of the problems of still living in the city I was born in, I am always bobbing and weaving to avoid some guy I dated. Like the classic line from SATC, I just want all the men I have already tested to be deported. Towards the end of the practice dinner, Prada Manager came to pick me up and we headed further downtown to have some drinks and chat. As much as I like so much about him and he reminded me of the fun we used to have when we first dated three years ago, now that I am older and therefore pickier, I just don't know if I can think about a guy with kids seriously. Couple that with the fact that he is under 30, his prospects are not looking good.

DJ has given me a cold. Never kiss a boy who is sick. All he will do is give you germs. To make up for my illness, DJ is cooking dinner for me tonight. He claims he can cook lobster, stuffing and salad, so that's what we are having. I'll let you know how it is. Prada Manager still owes me a home cooked meal as well. If I am still sick all weekend, I will definitely let him make up for it on Sunday. Saturday night is my co-worker's (Jessica Simpson twin) party at her apartment for her husband's 30 birthday. I invited lawyer to go with me since I think he will fit in with that group the best. It's hard to meet a guy who can fit in with your co-workers, your friends, your family and can change and adapt to any atmosphere (corporate, social, ghetto).

IT Manager left my laptop at his office and decided to take the day off. Therefore, I won't be getting my machine fixed until Monday. So I probably won't be blogging over the weekend. Enjoy!

I'm getting married!

2004-12-02T11:54:00.000-05:00

Relax, not to a guy I'm dating. My best buddy and travel partner in crime Jay and I are going to get married in Vegas for three days for his 30th birthday in January. I know it sounds crazy and tacky and Britney like, but he convinced me that it would be the perfect way to top all the other fun, crazy things we have done together over our 15 years of friendship. How funny would it be to introduce my best guy friend as my ex-husband who I have never slept with!

In other news, my boss told me he was no longer going to give me this new position and attempted to give examples of untrue situations as to why. One situation in particular was in reference to one person overhearing a conversation I was having with a vendor and reporting to HR that I my tone was bad to the vendor. Of course when I offered to call said vendor on her personal mobile phone and get them to ask her about working with me - they refused. After the meeting, I called the vendor and told her the story and she laughed and offered to send a letter on my behalf. I'll show them whose lying.

So DJ got to meet another friend yesterday when he picked me up after work with flowers since I told him what a crappy day I had at work. Med School Shar modeled her residency interview suits for us while we all laughed at Curb on demand HBO. It's rare that friends get to meet guys I date because I change dates like shoes. So far my friends seem to like him - not that I am easily influenced by my friends. Now I have to introduce him to some male friends to see how well he gets along with them.

Hard Drive Failure

2004-12-01T13:42:00.000-05:00

My laptop started making funny noises when I got back from San Fran. It sounded very ill so of course I took it to IT Manager. Well it seems I am having hard drive failure and I don't back-up! IT Manager is currently working on replacing my hard drive and somehow saving my precious files. Everyone take a moment of silence for my ill laptop.........okay. I may not be posting as much as a result, since I like to post from home because I want to savor my last ten days at work with my co-workers and I have spent the last few weeks hanging out in their offices, reading magazines and refusing all work that has been given to me. Why start new projects when I am quitting soon? They can't fire me for saying no? Law firms are hard to get fired from - the one good benefit.

So last Tuesday, Prada Manager invited me over to his house for my cooked dinner and a sleep over. I didn't accept because I had my flight the next day and it was going to rain. Well tomorrow, after my writing group, we have a rain check to make up for the missed date. He even mentioned that he picked something up for me for the holidays. I am very curious to see what that is. Tonight I have plans with the DJ after he films a T.V. segment. I am not sure what we are doing, but I hope it involves discussing this new business idea he has. That is the main reason I really like the DJ. I have never met a man who is full of creative energy with an entrepreneurial streak. I am not sure if I mentioned that DJ has three businesses and is working on a fourth. Jews know how to get paid! Everyone else can learn a thing or two. DJ is one man who could motivate me to do what makes me happy in life - and get rich doing it. I watched him start out with nothing over a year ago to get where he is now in his career and I respect him for that.

Now, let's move on to new boys. I have been exchanging e-mails with this crazy, tattooed white boy who works as a toy designer. How cool! We both live in Brooklyn and both love dogs. I am already in love. He also seems a bit crazy based on his photos, his e-mails and his profile, which for me is a definite plus. I am not sure why I like guys who could use psychotropic meds, but something about it is sexy.

I have another meeting with my boss in one hour to discuss this new position he has been wanting me to take. Instead of being a smart ass and responding to him with "Why are we meeting? I want more money and you don't want to give it to me. Case closed!", I have decided to be mature and screw him further by telling him I want the job, taking it, having him reject other candidates and then quitting on Dec. 17th. That is a Buttercup move.

Hip Hop Video comments

2004-11-22T22:56:00.000-05:00

Is that "Bird" from the Soul Food movies, also known as Malinda Williams, Mekhi Phifer's ex, in the new Young Buck video looking like the ultimate chicken head trying to be the characters from Natural Born Killers? Why can't actresses stick to acting?

Has anyone listened to the lyrics for Destiny's Child Soldier? Who knew those prissy bitches knew anything about a man who carries weight and flips dough? Are they trying to be street like Mariah with the ghetto dudes in the black and white video?

Who told Alicia Keys and Llyod Banks to name their new singles "Karma"? I keep wanting to see the Alicia Keys version, not the Llyod Banks one.

Who else wants to put Chingy in a large game machine and ping him into oblivion?

Does Ashanti think that if she flashes the ass cheeks like Beyonce did in her first single, she will move as many units? The song, "Only You", is hot all by itself - no need for the ass shots.

Monday night - No football

2004-11-22T22:41:00.000-05:00

So I have a ticket flying into SFO on Wednesday night. It's official - I'm meeting the DJ's parents. This shit doesn't even sound right as I type it. I will be back on Sunday and will blog all about my weekend. I hope I have fun. I hope I get to go shopping. The DJ was even nice enough to also extend a Turkey Day invite to my friend Jen who is out there all alone stressing over her lab results. Don't ask what the fuck she is studying. It's far more advanced than my feeble brain - some engineering shit.

I AM SO HAPPY THEY KICKED RACHEL OFF REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE - Take that you wanna be gay bitch. I hate a bitch that says she is gay and wears lesbians rule t-shirts but has flings with guys. Bitch, go suck a clit.

Is it rude to listen to iPod the entire flight when you are traveling with someone. I mean Jay and I have an understanding when we fly and the other guys I have flown with have been short flights. DJ is so fucking sensitive he might not like it. What do we talk about for 6 hours???

Interview tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I think HR is on to me. If a self-assessment for your review is optional, why did I get three personal e-mail reminders and a personal extention on the deadline? Fucking HR. Can't they just cut my bonus check early so I can quit already?

As Turkey Day approaches

2004-11-22T10:08:00.000-05:00

The DJ has asked me to come to San Francisco and spend Thanksgiving with his folks. Of course my first question was, what do they cook for Thanksgiving. I have never been to a white person's house for Turkey Day. I need to know if they know how to make baked mac and cheese and stuffing. He couldn't answer that question - not a good look. Then I asked him the tough question - isn't this too soon for two people are not boyfriend/girlfriend? His retort was that he had met my family. This is true but the only reason he met them is because his clinginess caused him to barge his way into my house and my life. We have been hanging out for about a week??!!!?? Meet the parents? I don't know. The only thing I do know is that Jennifer lives in SF and it would be nice to go visit her. I'll let you know what I decide.

In other world news, my writing group met on Saturday afternoon to go over the pieces we intend to read next month. One guy looked at me like I was crazy when trying to explain my relationship with my best male friend, Jay. Is it that weird that we have had sex in the same bed, but not together? Any women out there have unusual relationships with a best guy friend or any guys out there have a girl as a friend who can do ANYTHING with but you have never crossed that line? I'm curious.

Okay, I have to start looking busy at work. First business of the day, completing evaluations for some co-workers.

Me, Matt and Al

2004-11-19T00:07:00.000-05:00

Well the best thing that happened to me on Tuesday was my celebrity sighting. I was bitching about NY film crews on the way up 5th Avenue to check out the crap that they are referring to as the Karl Lagerfeld line at H&M and on the way back the crowd was even larger. As my friend and I made our way back to work, we were greeted with even larger crowds. As I pushed through crossing the street cursing every movie studio, I realized I was two feet away from two dream men - Matthew McConaughey and Al Pacino. Of course, unable to contain myself I screamed "Oh shit, Al Pacino!" The director promptly yelled cut and the actors were forced to do the scene over as a result of my big mouth. Oh well.

I called out "sick" to work on Wednesday to enjoy the nice weather and interview. I am starting to feel like something I really want might come through for me and I am looking forward to my last day at my current firm (a few thousand bonus dollars richer no less).

The DJ has been calling from L.A. He has been spending too much time with some porn star called Mr. Marcus. Now he has decided to focus more on starting a porn business and less on his DJ business. Whatever works. Not sure how I would feel about dating someone in that industry even if they were not the "star".

Macy's is the worst store in the universe. I tried to help my friend shop there and the customer service and the appearance of the store is atrocious. I see why I stick to uptown stores like Bergdorf and Saks.

Happy Friday. I know I'm having one. I must finish my first draft in time for our first writer's draft session this Saturday. I really think this event (December 6th) is going to be better than last month. If you want information, simply shoot me an e-mail at bitchinbuttercup@yahoo.com. Does anyone think that Condi has ever given Bush a blowjob? Just something I can't stop thinking about. The picture is s vivid in my head. If I turn up dead - you know why.

Hump Day Wednesday Preview

2004-11-16T21:07:00.000-05:00

I guess I should backtrack to the weekend. Friday's weather was gross so I stayed in bed - with who is none of your business. Let's move on to Saturday. I started out at my friend's book reading which was lovely for him and I since he sold tons of books. The the DJ and I made plans to hang out since he was leaving the next day for L.A. As a side note I have realized its not a good idea for me, control freak, to go to a city where you need to drive with no car, no license with a clingy guy who expects me to be around him every waking moment. There are very few men who can tolerate me for longer than 2 days.

The DJ and I went to our old favorite hole in the wall Jamaican restaurant in Flatbush and he again tried to backtrack and reconstruct where our relationship went wrong. I still don't have the heart to tell him I left him for the ex. Not that the DJ wasn't driving me up a wall with his neediness. Since the night was still young and I was pissed at him for being late AGAIN, we also went to a movie (my pick) and I promise any of you who go and see Ray will love it. I hate Jamie Foxx. I don't understand how someone so ugly created such a career for himself, but the movie is wonderful and his wife in the movie, Kerry Washington, is gorgeous and talented. By the time the movie was over and we had mourned ODB's death, the DJ took me home. No less than 10 minutes later, the ex calls to talk to me about ODB's passing (at this point, it's 2:30 a.m.). He convinced me to come over in a cab and watch his recent Netflix order. FYI - Ben Affleck really is a horrible actor. Proof? Paychecks with Uma Thurman. The morning was just like every other morning waking up next to the ex - us cuddling and him telling me how much he misses me. I am sick of him playing with what's left of my heart and brain. I just reminded him that he dumped me over a year ago and to stop lying about missing me. Why does he always come around when the DJ is coming on so strong with all his "boyfriend" moves? The minute someone else wants you, they all come around the bend.

Sunday was football day with another guy I am seeing. No nickname and no further discussion because I kind of like him and nothing is really worth speaking about. He is cute, normal and we have a great time together. I'll fill you in if it goes anywhere.

Monday I went out with Prada manager (now referred to as Prada). I am not sure why he showed up with his 25 year old brother or why he thought it was a good idea to take me to ESPN Zone. Despite these huge no-no's, I think I might actually go out with him again. I think he was testing me so I won't give the satisfaction of my failing. I am also trying to butter him up for that Prada discount and the dinner he promised to cook for me. So I'll give him a chance to come through with that before kicking him to the curb. Being fine and always in a suit when I see him helps.

Tomorrow and Thursday I have further interviews. I have 20 more days at my current job. I can't wait. The only other person in my department that reports to my boss also intends to quit on bonus day. I can't wait to see his face. I told her we should walk in and quit together. People at work need to learn to stop fucking with me. I have nothing to lose - not even a job.

Buttercup is BACK Bitches

2004-11-11T13:55:00.000-05:00

"It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you without a strong rhyme to step to." - Eric B for President

I am finally back in the blogging business. I am sure no has really noticed but I have been busy - one job, 3 former flames, several interviews and dates, new iPod and constant new job hunting has left me very busy. I just wrapped one of the biggest projects of the year where I managed and hosted an event for a big NYSE exec so now I am back to my regular days of bullshit, shopping, dating and blogging.

This Monday was the live reading event at Apolocolypse Lounge which Lex hosted. It went so well. We had a packed house and tons of great readers. I am so happy I took part in it. I can't wait until December for round two. I am going to write about my one male friend who I have never slept with. We have gone to sleep together in the same bed but never one top of one another. I already called and told him to make sure he was in attendance. It will read Ode to J* or something like that. All names will be changed to protect the many innocent young ladies he HAS bed, sometimes with me on the other side of the bed.

I finally got my iPod in the mail, used it for two days, it broke and I just received the new one from Amazon again. I LOVE not hearing people in the street. Of course now that I can't hear anything it seems more people try to say stuff to me on the train and in the street. Yesterday, on my way into the city for a date, this tough looking guy and his girl start pounding on the seat and flailing their arms in front of me trying to get my attention. Too bad for them, I also keep a Gameboy or magazine handy for visual distraction. After getting no less than half the car to distract me, I am finally forced to remove my headphones while simultaneously rolling my eyes. His question, "What kind of purse is that?". "Chloe." I can't believe it was that serious to disrupt DMX and Sisquo's "What these Bitches Want". I then spent the rest of the train ride in fear that I would be robbed of my overpriced purse and new iPod. I changed cars at the next stop. Buttercup left her knife at home. I may look sweet and cute but I have stabbed a bitch and will stab you if you fuck with my iPod or handbag. I went to a magnet school in Bushwick for grades 5-8. I had to learn to protect my material goods early on. Schuylerites rule!

A while back I wrote a post begging for a few former flames I missed to come back. This month, 3 of them have surfaced. The DJ is the funniest case by far. Now that his career is taking off he seems hell bent on trying to get me to be impressed by the rapper name drops and frequent flier miles clocked. The real reason I am physched we are hanging out again - his new Westie dog Boba who I instantly fell in love with. Too bad I can't say the same about the DJ.

Things are looking good on the job front. I have no projects in the can and I think my boss is leaving me alone because he knows I am quitting. I have several second interviews lined up and some good prospects. Worst case scenario is I will spend the winter sleeping late and running errands with the DJ like the old days. Hanging out in the studio is kind of fun - Free food and free weed.

More to come. I just want you all to know I'm back!

No Major Updates

2004-11-03T21:48:00.000-05:00

Bush won.
I met some co-workers of the Lawyer who aired some dirty laundry about him. Too bad I won't tell him who I met.
My boss and his boss were supposed to have lunch with me today at my event. It was suddenly cancelled at 11:45 a.m.
I had a good follow-up meeting at my event, impromptu, from a Director of a firm I met with on Monday.
I am considering working at Starbucks to tell my boss to shove his head in his ass. It can't be so hard to make latte.

Hope you are having a better Hump Day. Still no humping for Buttercup. I never got the nerve to call the Sheriff and the ex has not answered all the times I have called (I don't like to leave him messages).

Old Flames

2004-10-30T01:47:00.000-04:00

Tonight while walking to 59th Street from Saks, I passed by Prada and was spotted by a former flame. Our initial meeting was rather interesting. A few years ago, IT Manager and I were at a bar/lounge enjoying a party. Since IT Manager was never man enough to commit, I wandered off and ended up being smitten by another man at the party (herein referred to as KT). KT and I spent the entire evening chatting so comfortably that I forgot all about IT Manager until he came looking for me when we were ready to go home. Even while making love to IT Manager later that night (I love him, just not in love with him so it was more than fucking) I spent the night thinking about KT. We hung out a few times that summer but when he went to Japan to sing, I got back with the ex again and thus we lost touch. So I was pleasantly surprised when he stopped me in the street and said to me "You are the only one I have been thinking about." Either he is full of shit or I left an impression. I already know the answer, all men are full of shit. Despite this fact, I took his card after he swore leaving me several messages that I never returned (maybe I got one or two, I was too stupid being faithful) and promised to call. He asked me to make sure I go to his Halloween party but I told him some bullshit about not having a costume. He said the best thing to me, "Wear a mask and that hot orange dress I met you in." I LOVE that Kookai orange dress. No man has forgotten it. Thanks to IT Manager who brought it for me while we spent a lovely summer day in Montreal. I am glad he is not the only one that got to enjoy it that night.

P.S. As I type this while I watch MTV2, it must suck to be a female rapper and have video hos in your music video who are cuter than you. Yeah, I am talking about you Shawna and Jackie O.

No Hump Day Wednesday

2004-10-27T22:37:00.000-04:00

I went to my girlfriend's house and she directed to me to rummage through her closet for her genie costume. Little did I know it could also pass for a stripper outfit. I left it right there in her closet and passed the ugliest turtleneck sweater. When asking her why she did not throw it out, her response was "You brought it for me." I had to remind her there is a big difference between buying a gift for someone, putting it in a box and presenting it and paying for something in a store when she says she wants it. I felt kind of bad because I don't think I have ever given her a present, when I want to buy her something, we go to the store and I pay. I did find a perfect Halloween costume without looking like a slut - I took a pair of her scrubs and mask and I am going to be a doctor!

The lawyer and I got into a little tiff over the phone because he keeps telling his friends how great I am with the exception that I am a "serial dater". WTF??!!?? Why are men allowed to galavant with every Jane, Mary and Sue and I can't see a few new men a week. He said it makes me seem slutty - he emphasized that black men probably feel like that more so than white guys. Then he followed up with some shit like, black men aren't into that Sex and the City dating because all those chicks were sluts. Of course I asked, even Charlotte? He didn't know the difference. I didn't want him to know I was pressed, but damn I wish I was getting ass a few times a week like those bitches. I usually get a drink or a meal, no more no less. I was definitely less bitchy when I had a man. Not cause he made me happy (well maybe) but more so because love and sex make you relaxed. So I am kind of bummed that the ex and I are not really speaking and thus I have no real fuck buddy. When you have sex with someone you used to love, even if you are not together, it feels so much better than when you have convenient sex with some random dude. I am afraid I might start calling up guys from the past. Now I see why every now and again some random man from my past calls me - he must be feeling like I am right now. So I am hoping The Sheriff is down for some ass cause I think that's exactly who I want to call and "rekindle" things with. My last fuck buddy the model is in California trying to become the Actor, the Writer is in DC and no one else has tickled my spot to make the effort worth it. Its going to be a cold long winter in the gym. That's the only place I am going to be sweating. Unless my football wife friend wants to pass me a piece of ass from the Chargers when I go see her next month. I must go check out their line-up.

P.S. It doesn't help that I am reminded of my lack of sex life every day now that I have started the pill. Not to mention my breasts are almost always taut and firm as if they are waiting for someone to play with them. Fucking men. Useless when you have them and missed when you don't. Typical.

Not a scary monkey after all

2004-10-27T13:55:00.000-04:00

Well it seems to be that Monkey Man is not so scary at all, after getting these two links from readers. I am sorry if I scared anyone. Since I date online a lot and do occasionally chat with strangers, I just thought it was good to remind people that everyone on the other side of that chat window may not be on the up and up.

So, the lesson for today is don't believe urban legends but still be careful when chatting/talking to strangers. There are so crazy people on the internet - I am one of them!

Warning to Instant Message Users

2004-10-26T16:58:00.000-04:00

This was forwarded to me at work from someone I take seriously. Be careful out there and don't talk to strangers.

Subject: WARNING From STATE POLICE .......USA (not ajoke)
State police
warning for online: Please read this "very carefully"...then send it out to all
the people online that you know. Something like this is nothing to take
casually; this is something you DO want to pay attention to. Think of it as a
bit of advice too.
If a person with the screen-name of Monkeyman935 contacts
you, do not reply. DO not talk to this person; do not answer any of his/her
instant Messages or e-mail. Whoever this person may be, he/she is a suspect for
murder in the deaths of 56 women (so far) contacted through the Internet.
Please send this to all the women on your buddy list and ask them to pass
this on, as well.
This screen-name was seen on Yahoo, AOL, AIM, and Excite,
so far. This is not a joke! Please send this to men too...just in case! Send to
everyone you know! Ladies, this is serious.

Moving Day

2004-10-25T13:39:00.000-04:00

I am moving. In the process, some posts no longer appear. I'll take some time to fix everything and get it back in order over the next week. In the interim, pretend you are just meeting my blog for the first time. Please update your links accordingly.

My weekend with food

2004-10-24T12:13:00.001-04:00

The only thing memorable about my weekend were the meals. On Friday, I went out on date at the Cheesecake Factory. Someone mentioned they went there last week and my stomach instantly got nostalgic and made plans to go on Friday. So after cutting out of work early for a quick hair appointment, I met up with my date in NJ and headed to Palisades Mall. Since I don't wish to blog about this guy, cause he is cool and a friend in addition to a date, I will focus on the food - the cheesecake to be specific. I had the cookie and creams cheesecake which was heaven on a plate. I don't know why they serve such excellent cheesecake after filling you up on the food and drinks. I learned that trick and only stick to appetizers and dessert. I make sure I get my meal to go.

On Saturday, since it was NY Cares day, I ended up going to a school in the neighborhood and painting and cleaning. Buttercup does a little charity every now and then despite the fact that I hate children. I followed up my good deed with a writing meeting for the event I am doing next month with some bloggers and non-bloggers alike. Details will be posted some time next week. I really need to work on my story. I felt like such a slacker handing in half ass work just to meet the deadline. I got some good feedback and will definitely work further on my reading this week. Saturday night was spent shopping with Sabrina who happens to live in the neighborhood. I tried to be good and only spent $200 on a skirt and sweater.

Today was great because I finally got to see Motorcycle Diaries. It was such a gorgeous movie. The story, the lead actor, the accent (a Mexican pulling off such a great Argentinean accent was amazing). I was already obsessed with Che because of his beauty inside and out but seeing this story of his cross country travels which gave him his passion for the Latin American struggle was enough to make me cry. Please support stories like this and check it out. Now, let's get back to stuffing my face. My friend and I refueled after some awful Halloween shopping after with a huge Italian meal at Serafina. Sangria, calamari, tuna tartar, lobster pasta, seafood risotto, it was enough to make me burst. So of course I used our full bellies as an excuse to walk around and do some "window shopping". What can I say, food and clothes are important.

P.S. I need to vent about my favorite movie theater. I used to love Battery Park Regal Cinemas because they were empty (no folks talking during the movie) and you could sneak in and see as many movies as you wanted. Well now some idiot decided that a DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse) is a perfect thing to put into a movie theater, making it necessary to have little movie workers on every floor and making my sneak into I Heart Huckabees impossible. Thanks Battery Park Cinemas. I am taking my $10 elsewhere!

Dinner with Friend

2004-10-22T01:40:00.001-04:00

Yesterday one of my best friends took the Step 2 to further her mission of ridding women across the world of STDs (otherwise known as being an OB/GYN doc). She called me at around 5:00, tired, downtrodden and hungry after the nine hour exam and said she was a few blocks from my office and she needed dinner - fast. We ended up at Houston's. Don't ask me why she chose Houston's when I offered to take her to Rosa Mexicana, Maya, or Serafina. It must be that I have not been to Houston's in almost a month, but the fish just keeps getting better. The fries too. We didn't have room for the brownie due to the excessive spinach dip. Sitting there with one friend applying to residency programs who is about to embark on the true meaning of having no life outside of work, I began to realize what little I am getting out of NY. Later on, I spoke with one of my other best friends (I have 4 close girlfriends, they are equal so none of them are best, but two are from 13 years ago and the others are from 8 years ago - you do the math) and she was listing all the cities she is applying for jobs in when she leaves Berkeley this December. All the cities were places I at one point thought I would want to live in. So I've decided to join her in the job hunt outside of NY starting today. Sorry Jen, Kalamazoo is still off the list!

Finally I have some travel plans confirmed. November is off to see the San Diego Chargers in CA with my football wife friend and December its DC to the firm's office party there and to see all of DC folks (maybe even the Writer....)

The Apprentice Midget

2004-10-21T21:52:00.000-04:00

I asked my instant message blogger buddy why some guy would have my blog listed as "The Blog I Love to Hate." He said some shit about me having a man-hating blog. I love men. I could not get laid or get off without them. Is it man hating when you just tell the truth about shit that happens to you? It's not my fault a lot of NY men suck.

Fall, Big Coats and more live performances

2004-10-20T22:14:00.001-04:00

Fall has hit and I am so happy that I get to wear coats long enough to cover my ass so people aren't getting free looks at the goods. I want to thank Reef for his timely blog (see Friday, October 15th post) which attractive women everywhere can relate to. Why don't men realize that if they are approaching you with bullshit lines at you in the street, chances are the asshole 5 minutes before already tried to same bullshit.

Anyway, I can't really blog because I am trying to pour all my energy into writing a piece for another live performance I am participating in this November. Thanks to Lex for organizing the entire thing. This time, I will have bigger things to talk about besides men. Basically I am writing a piece on why my life sucks. I won't be sharing it in the blog because to get the effect, you will have to hear the words come out of my mouth. November 8th at 8:00 p.m. is the date. Official details will follow - friends feel free to call me for the info. Oh yeah, suddenly my friends are kind of into my blog. They think I write just how I talk which is cool, cause I have been honest all along. I don't really care because I hide nothing from my friends, even when I say mean shit about them. The people I love know it and words can never change that. The other motherfuckers, fuck you.

Ugly and Stupid People

2004-10-17T20:51:00.001-04:00

This is a bitchy moment. If you can't take the truth, hit the "x" on the top right corner (the top left red round button for you Mac users). I try to be nice and sweet on the blog, but I gotta start dropping the truth every now and then.

Have you ever stopped reading people's blogs after you saw a picture of them? I have and those bloggers have remained nameless. They are all men who talk about dating and chicks on their website like they are the bomb and have even slid me an e-mail or two. Then I saw the ohotogallery. Delete from memory.
Have you ever read one of those horrific stories in the news about some baby or young child dying and then did the math to figure out how old the mother was when she had the baby and realized the bitch should not have been procreating in the first place? That's me every day when reading the NY Post or NY Daily News. The Wall Street Journal tends to skip over dead ghetto baby stories. That shit is real depressing. If motherfuckers who don't have no business with children would stop getting knocked up I wouldn't have to think about what a fucked up world we live in right now. Anyone who thinks I don't have a right to say who should have kids or not, fuck you. You probably have 2-10 kids you can't afford.
Is anyone else mad at Jay-Z for getting back on R. Kelly's dick now that the whole pedophile thing has gone away? I LOVE Jay-Z, but I hope the album flops. Didn't that motherfucker say he was retiring anyway? Does retirement include more albums?
Is it wrong to beat the shit out of your puppy for fucking up a pair of Marc Jacobs polka dot pumps that are not even available on eBay? Hopefully the shoe gurus at Shoe Service Plus can fix them.
I am eBay stalking a bitch who caused me to miss out on the Marc Jacobs shoes pictured below. That means whatever that bitch sets out to buy from now for the next few auctions, will be sniper bidded on my me with my anonymous-I-never-pay-for-those-auctions eBay account.

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/114/928/640/MarcNavyMaryJanes1.jpg

Can you tell I am in a bad mood? Blame Cablevision and the fact that I have not been laid in a hot minute.

Less work and more play

2004-09-13T19:45:00.000-04:00

This Sunday was the big day - I met some bloggers for the first time in person during a dry run of the live event on Tuesday. I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing (from what I hear, it's good) but I am going first. ME. I will start off the tone of the night. Needless to say my obsessing over what to wear has begun. For a moment I thought it would be cool to show up as a real Buttercup (see previous post for character descriptions). Then I came to my senses when I remembered this was not a Halloween event. So now I am not sure if I want to wear something short and cute or something more conservative. I'll guess you will have to come to see what I show up in. It doesn't help when the person who came with me to the dry run gave a comment that included, "This story confirms you are a freak."

So knowing that it will take me all day Tuesday to get ready, I have decided to call in sick from work and get my hair done. I made sure tomorrow's sick day will seem real since I left work today early with "stomach issues" (I also had another $100 focus group to go to). My stupid boss is just happy I have not quit yet. I know he senses it always asking about my evening and my weekend and asking me how I am doing. He never cared before.

My dating has kind of tapered off. I don't know if it is my fault or the fault of the men I chose to date this summer. I have a few men I was e-mailing and I think I will resume that to see what options I have left. Aside from the Lawyer, no one has kept my interest. Surprisingly I don't see him often, but we talk a lot and he keeps me laughing and on my toes. I guess it's the whole smart thing - I need to date a smart guy.

Tomorrow night, provided I am not wasted, I will post the story that I will read tomorrow. It is a bit long, but I got good feedback from it yesterday so I think it's worth it. Feel free to leave me your comments.

Shameless Plugs

2004-09-12T23:53:00.000-04:00

Before I begin, as a side note, avid readers of blog should realize that not all posts are consecutive. I could post about something today that happened to me two months ago and then post tomorrow about the same day. The brain works in mysterious ways.....

On Thursday afternoon, my friend Matt from a former job at another boring law firm, came to meet me for lunch at Bogart's with a special copy of his newly published book. I can't tell you how happy I was for him when he found out he was going to be published. It is the coolest thing to walk into a book store and KNOW someone whose name appears on a spine. As VHI would say, Matt is having a best week ever. He is in love with a girl he met on Match (which I convinced him to sign up for and coached him on) and now he is in stores. If he does some area readings and poetry is your thing, I will post some info on readings. Until then, just e-mail Matt if you want to purchase a copy of his book. He can be reached at m_thorburn at hotmail dot com (Matt has a fear of spam). He accepts paypal. If you really are lazy, you can also get it at amazon. Support the arts and buy direct because Amazon keeps a lot of the funds if you buy from them. Did I mention Matt no longer works at Chadbourne? He definitely qualifies as a starving artist.

On Thursday night I went to check out my friends band Dough at The Cutting Room. When I googled them to find out the exact location, I recalled that the venue is co-owned by Chris Noth (Mr. Big from Sex & The City for those of you not familiar). I got dressed with the intention of hopefully seeing him there....I never knew how good Chris' band was. They looked like perfectly polished signed artists on stage. Then to celebrate Chris' birthday, Magnolia Bakery cupcakes were passed out. For those of you non-NYers, people have been known to line up for a cupcake from Magnolia. I am not sure if that is because of their feature on Sex & The City or the high quality of the cupcakes. Overall, the night was a treat, so I want you to go purchase Dough's new CD here now!

I am so happy people around me are having such fabulous luck. Now if only it would rub off on me.......If I had a genie, here is what I would wish for:

a body forever stuck at size 4
a job I loved so much that I would never mind working weekends and late nights
an adorable boyfriend who adored me size four or not.

If you know a genie, have him call me.

Do they always come back?

2004-08-24T23:34:00.001-04:00

Of course, as I somewhat expected, Officer London has been calling again. He started off with a text message telling me how he missed me and has been thinking of me. I guess his balls were not big enough to deal with the possibility of me hanging up the phone on him. I will entertain him for the time being. It's still nice enough outside to have a few runs on his motorcycle before dropping him like a bad habit.Why can't the ex show up again during inclement weather, take me to my rooftop and profess his stupidity for ever thinking he could live without me? I guess he knows this time, he better come with a ring. Why can't any of the boys I actually miss from my past call? It's always the loser that I give specific instructions to lose my number who wait about one year and then call as if losing my number expires in 365 days. So if any of the guys below are reading, holla. The number is still the same.

My tall, high yellow pot head friend who left to live in Hershey, PA and work for Hershey.
The tall, gorgeous drug dealers son from Park Slope who made sure all his friends came with us on dates. I am sure you have matured by now. I see your friend in the hood, but never you.
The arrogant dark skinned model I always run into in Pathmark when I look like a bum. I promise I clean up nicely for dates. I do hope you have gained at least 20 pounds.
The other arrogant model I used to date who I have known since you had acne. Don't make me find a picture of you from when I was 12 when you had pizza face.
The white rap DJ who was mentioned as one of the best DJ's so far in 2004 according to MTV. I am sorry I broke your heart, but blame the ex. I am sure we can work on your clingyness.

Again, if these men are reading or if you know them - call me. I am sorry I was such a bitch. My bad.

Coincidence in D.C.

2004-08-23T22:38:00.000-04:00

I forgot to mention that at the hotel I was staying in had an event going on while I was there - a BLOGGER's Conference! How funny is that. Check out the link to find out what they talked about. Has NY had one of these? Is there one in the works? Drop me a comment and let me know. Also, all the people at the hotel for the conference, just on quick glance were white and FAT. Not thick, curvy or heavy - FAT!!!! What a bad representation of bloggers!

Sleeping Writer

2004-08-23T19:23:00.000-04:00

Above is a photo of the Writer. This is how I left him at about 5:45 this morning to catch my 7:00 flight into LGA. Yes! I made it to work on time and did not have to use a vacation day. I had a great time in D.C. It is the cutest city! Here is a run down of weekend highlights.

Friday
- The Writer left work early to come see me and spent the entire afternoon with me in bed. He had dinner plans with a friend and his publisher dad and my friend Cuban doctor was in town with his girlfriend so we parted ways. The rest of the night was spent eating, drinking and smoking. Shouldn't every Friday be that fun?

Saturday
- I had lunch with a cousin, dinner and drinks with Cuban doctor and his group and clubbing with a friend from the office. Due to the lack of late night partying in D.C. (or no one I hung with knew about it, I was in bed by 3:00 a.m. - early by my account). The club scene in D.C. is VERY different than NY nightlife. I have never seen a more diverse crowd. Not bad, but different. A guy with a turban tried to push up and dance on my ass. It was more than I could handle. Women in D.C. do not own or buy stilettos. No wonder they don't have a Jimmy Choo boutique... There is a man shortage in D.C. Women were very quick to shoot me dirty looks and one woman pulled her boyfriend away from me when I mistakenly asked him where the restroom was. The Writer was not feeling 100% so he stayed in Annapolis for the night.

Sunday
- Slept late and spent the afternoon/evening with one of my best girlfriends from college, Baby Halle (we call her that cause she looks just like her!). It was nice to hang out with her and her boyfriend and their friends. I realized something about their relationship when it was just the three of us at the table before the remaining party arrived. She took the seat next to me and they did not sit next to each other. She didn't need everyone to know that was her man. I realize that she is so lucky because she has only dated about 5 guys and has never been through half the shit I have with men so she has never built the walls that I have to protect herself. It made me regret not being a late bloomer. I hope for the day when I can assume all men are not full of shit until they prove me wrong. We all went for dinner and drinks in Georgetown and the writer came to meet us. Dinner and drinks at Sequoia, a waterfront restaurant was a nice cap off to a lovely weekend (second of course to the lazy cuddling the Writer and I did in bed watching everything the hotel cable had to offer).

Overall, I had a lovely time. Seeing Baby Halle and her man comfortable in the nice suburb life in D.C. it made me all the more excited for the day I would have the same comfort. Until then, I guess I am stuck online weeding through suitors waiting to find my right hand guy. While the Writer is not that person, it doesn't mean I won't enjoy him for the time being.

Dreams and Addictions

2004-08-18T23:49:00.000-04:00

I was reading Vanity Fair today at work, the one with Reese Witherspoon on the cover, and inside there was an article on Amy Sacco. For you non-NYers and NYers not in the know, Amy Sacco is a club fixture as the owner of Lot 61 and Bungalow 8. I didn't even know about her owning Lot 61 until today, Bungalow 8 is more of the hot spot right now. Anyway, in the article she talks about being a "door bitch. For about an hour I fantasized how that would be a perfect job for me. Then I calculated the cost of my expensive boarding school and private college and realized what a waste it would be. A girl can dream. If you don't know what a door bitch is, skip this paragraph.

I saw a woman today on my way home from a mani pedi and she had the most adorable border collie pup. He was 15 weeks old. I playfully rubbed his belly and asked him in a baby voice if he was going to herd sheep. His mother quickly replied, "Oh no. I don't do farms. We are enrolling in agility courses to train for shows." "Lovely" I replied with a tinge of jealousy. If I were rich and white (cause people would laugh at a black girl who spent all day training her dog), I would be right there alongside her. A girl can dream.

My $150 flat iron (yeah, straight hair is still in for some, everyone can't do the beach hair) broke a few days ago. Luckily, I have a back up Blue Sapphire. I still love my Kenta so the ex offered to take a shot at fixing it. He tried really hard, but couldn't fix it. He said if the store can't fix it to give it to him so he could make it his pet project. How sweet! I need a man who is good with his hands outside of using them on my body. Did I mention the ex doesn't laugh at me when I tell him I don't have any money and can I have $2 for pizza while he works on the flat iron? He gives me $4 no questions asked and never asks for the change ($2 muffin for breakfast!). I know what you are thinking and yes I do have a good job that pays me really well, but I also have a compulsive shopping habit. Recent (this week alone!!!) purchases include 3 blazers from J. Crew for fall ($350), 2 suits from Bluefly.com ($470), 2 new Juicy Couture sets from eBay (&170), 1 Nanette Lepore suit from neimanmarcus.com ($600) and a new pair of Manolo pumps for fall ($485). You do the math (well over $2k). Let's not forget that I live in NY and I feed 3 dogs and I just paid my credit card bill from Spain. I can't wait until pay day!!!! Miracles always happen for me before trips so I am sure I will land in some dough to take away with me (miracles include baby voiced calls to the godfather to slip me some emergency cash).

If you get the sick idea to leave me some judgmental comments about how I should be saving my money - save your comments for someone who needs them. I am smart girl. I know what I am supposed to do with my money. I just become someone else when faced with the temptation of pretty new clothes and shoes. I am very good at rationalizing. As I have mentioned several times, I am going to D.C. so I may not be blogging over the weekend. Don't miss me too much!

My Love Horoscope - Yeah, its all true

2004-08-17T23:48:00.000-04:00

Leo - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're almost always the center of attention - and easy for potential dates to spot
Your happiness and optimism is appealing to all... and contagious!
You don't hold grudges - getting over little fights is no problem for you

Your negative traits:

You tend to ignore relationship problems, until they are too big to handle
You crave luxury, and you are disappointed with partners who can't provide you with it
If someone does you wrong, you'll coldly and cruely break their heart

Your ideal partner:

Someone high status enough to bring you more attention - but not so great that they upstage you
Makes you laugh and brings excitement to everything you do together
Is aggressive and confident enough to butt heads with you every so often

Your dating style:

High expectations. You need to be impressed with an incredible first date for a second one to occur.

Your seduction style:

You like to make the first move - you're fearless about initiating things
Passionate. You really get into any intimate act.
Aggressive. Most of the time, you find yourself wanting sex more than your partner.

Tips for the future:

Try to not need so much attention. You'll feel less ignored, guaranteed.
Learn to love your parnter for who they are - not how they help advance your life.
Let your partner shine occasionally. You don't always have to be the alpha dog.

Best place to meet someone online:

Platnium Romance - these flirty singles will make sure that you're the center of attention

Best color to attract mate: Gold

Best day for a date: Sunday
Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

And the Hits just keep on coming

2004-08-17T17:34:00.000-04:00

I am having the best week so far (well almost, I haven't gotten laid this week, but that will change on Friday). Highlights include:

Date with new guy next week met on craig's list who is a banker at E&Y. Did I mention he wears glasses? I love the preppie, nerdy look.
Full weekend with The Writer coming up starting Friday. I am still going through with it despite the drunk dialing he did to me on Saturday at 2:30 a.m. while I was out with the ex. The ex still cuddled me and when I mentioned the drunk dialing to another man, his response was "How cute. At least you know he was thinking of you." That is a new way to look at it. In my young stupid college days, the guys I drunk dialed were always the ones I wanted to invite me over and fuck the alcohol out of me. I have every intention of obliging the Writer this weekend.
I killed things with MC. He has been "too busy" with work to see me. His loss. He is also leaving town for good on Saturday. I am taking another new catch from match.com to the Brand Nubian concert. Now that the weather is getting cooler here in NY, the match men must be looking for a snuggle bunny for fall. I have been getting e-mails left and right from the site. Unfortunately, only one every other day is a real contender. Do NYC schools teach reading to men? Still getting replies from short (5'4) men and men with children.
I am almost done with my draft for the upcoming live reading on dating at Stand Up NY. If you want to attend or participate, contact tess via www.networkinggirl.com. I am sure it will make for an interesting evening. I will post my final copy on the blog after the event.
The Boss is still walking on eggshells around me. I can't wait to quit when work starts to pile up. I spent my morning sending out 15 resumes.
2 more weeks til South Beach. My new tan will look so good with the fall tweeds that are in now!
My blog traffic has quadrupled in the last few days! Some of it strangely in part to the lovely note about me at Jerome's blog. He is one of the first blogger's I discovered and I even won a Maroon 5 CD from his blog. Thanks Jerome!

Anyone else having a great week? Fill me in via the comments button.

Alpha's and Providers

2004-08-16T13:08:00.000-04:00

Below is a quote from the fastseduction website which I found very interesting. NOTE: If you have never read the manual, please take this opportunity to do it now. While it is written from a male point of view, women should know, understand and be able to recognize the game that is being run on us. I know men will say, "I don't run game." or "I don't use lines." Even when you don't realize what you are doing, you can be doing it. Men, if you are not familiar with this, you should read it as well. Realize that the point of being a player (male or female) is about attitude. If you don't have the right attitude, you will never sleep with a woman worth sleeping with.

"Evolutionary psychologists agree that women are actually looking for two mates, not one; a provider, and a genetic resource. They will hook up with providers and then have steaming sex with alphas behind the betas' backs. The best deal is of course an alpha who is also a provider, but those things kinda cancel each other out because an alpha stops being an alpha when he supplicates.
Women actually do this quite often; they just don't get caught for it as often as men do because they don't brag about it. They also don't have a need to tell their partners because while men make an emotional investment in their woman, women reserve their emotional investment for their children. If you study the statistics, you will notice that while men frequently commit suicide when their long-term relationship ends, women almost never do. Anybody ever wonder why?
Another study showed that the truth is actually likely to never come out; they did paternity tests to thousands of couples and their children, and it was revealed that a staggering number of the children weren't actually genetically related to their father at all. I wish I still had that paper somewhere...
(See http://www.fathersforlife.org/advice.htm#1in3 for some idea.)"

My name is Buttercup and I am a man on the inside (I'm an alpha. I guess that's why I hate children, cooking, cleaning and anything else that looks like "providing" for others). Does anyone know any men who are alpha's on the outside but providers on the inside. I need a confident guy who doesn't mind doing my laundry every now and then. Hey, I should post that in an ad on craig's list. I wonder if I would get any responses.

One Rainy Saturday

2004-08-15T15:24:00.000-04:00

I got an early start on my Saturday plans by arriving in at my friend's house for a BBQ at 3:30. It's so crazy how despite how things change over time, so much stays the same. Although I have known this friend since 3rd grade, I didn't remember her exact address but somehow managed to find her house since my calls had gone unanswered. I had such a good time chilling with her and of course chowing down on BBQ/jerk chicken (you know Jamaicans love to jerk everything :o) and BBQ turkey burgers. By the time I came home the weather was looking really shitty and since I didn't have anyone to help motivate me to go to the karaoke party, I decided to chill in for a night and clean up since I am leaving town on Friday.

Midnight - Text from the ex - "Busy?"
I give him a call back and he asks me to join him for a walk in the rain. My ex loves the rain. After some initial hesitation, I decide to join him. I am not sleepy and if you dress properly, the rain is not so bad. We decided to take a cab to Battery Park, walked to Pier 25 where the sand volleyball courts are and sat on a bench and watched the rain hit the water while we stared out onto the NJ skyline. It was really a beautiful moment. By 2:00 a.m. we were starving for some odd reason so we walked in the rain to Moondance. Soaking wet and stuffed, we piled in a cab for his place.

I enjoy the ex's company. I enjoy who he is as a man and a person. Shit, I'll admit that I still love him. This is why I hang out with him despite knowing our potential as a couple is bleak. Most of the time, we don't even have sex. He is one of the few men I know who can enjoy just cuddling with me (or at least he is really good at pretending). How much love does it take to change what someone wants from life? If you find that one person you really love, is it possible to sacrifice everything else you want from life? These are the questions I am always left with after leaving him (and trust me leaving him has always taken all the mental and physical strength I can muster).

Saturday Night Karaoke

2004-08-13T21:49:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow night I am venturing to my first party alone. My hairdresser is having a karaoke party for her birthday and invited me to come hang out with her and her friends. I thought I would have a date, but option #1 went out of town and option#2 annoyed me over the phone, so I am going stag. I have never been to a party all alone - no friends male or female. Then again, I have never been on vacation alone until Spain. As I get closer to becoming an old maid (I have not accepted my new age of 26), I realize that I need to start to become comfortable with hanging out stag, especially since all my girlfriends are in relationships (good, bad and other) and last I checked I was single. So tomorrow, I pop another cherry of mine. Wish me luck.

Yummy Dinner

2004-08-13T00:08:00.000-04:00

I had a great dinner with a good friend from my old days at eMarketer. We went to Sea Thai Bistro in Williamsburg. It's rare you can have a good meal, a lively crowd, and good drinks for dirt cheap in NYC. If you want all that plus real adult swings and a live DJ, head to Sea Thai. It's worth the trip for you non-borough folks.

I am also happy that I still have female friends who make time for a single gal like me, even though they are moving in with their boyfriend (congrats Jules!!!).

Pissing off the Boss

2004-08-12T19:07:00.000-04:00

1. Tell him via instant message you are going to see the Director of Human Resources and you may be a while. When he writes back "Purpose?", lock your computer screen and proceed to HR.

2. When he reminds you that he needs your signed review, pretend you left it at home. Apologize profusely and leave yourself a voice-mail to bring it in the next day while he watches

3. Close all windows outside of work e-mail as soon as he enters your office.

4. Have a jovial conversation with your peers that comes to a complete halt as soon as he enters the room.

5. Be extra pleasant, but no longer joke with him when he tells funny stories.

6. Keep a tight smile no matter what comes out of his mouth.

7. Go out of your way to say "Good morning" and "Good evening."

8. After checking with him if there is anything he needs assistance with, make sure when he goes into each person's office, he catches them (and you) on monster.com or hotjobs.com or lawmarketing.com

My boss is nervous that we (the 3 remaining staff members in the NY marketing dept.) are all planning to quit. We are because he sucks. What he doesn't know is that we are waiting until work gets really busy. I love making him nervous. I think next month he will just start handing out checks to keep us. I have told my boss that as an only child, I would spend days trying to figure out what to do to people to piss them off passively. I warned him who he was fucking with. Some men never learn.

The Biological Clock of the Male

2004-08-11T20:57:00.000-04:00

First of all, when will this rain end.... I can't even walk the pooches - they HATE rain.

Well, after much research (dating way too many men who immediately long for the white picket fence and children along with the rest of the trappings of a suburban lifestyle), I am realizing that men also have a biological clock. After dealing with the ex during his coming of age (turning 30) and the tearful way we broke up once after him telling me he was looking for the mother of his children and his wife and if I didn't want those things NOW then we should end it (he is still single with no kids - he should have waited), I should have been clued in, but I figured he was just sensitive. Then listening to "Moe" discuss how he wants a family soon because he is getting older and lastly having the Lawyer explain to me that he has to have children by the time he is 35 (he is 33) so he can still play ball with them and not look like the oldest parent, I am starting to realize that men think about settling down, just with children and not wives. They want to have offspring just as much as the female counterpart, but the consistent problem I am seeing is that they are in no rush to get married, they just want the benefits (children, a woman to decorate, take care of them, etc.) Men need to realize they can't have their cake and eat it to. There is no reason on this earth, except for an impending terminal illness, that would cause me to give a man children before he has given me at least 5-7 years of a solid marriage. With society the way it is (has anyone checked the divorce rates), men killing their pregnant wives or leaving them with infants and young children, I can't allow myself to be a statistic. Life is all about give and take - you can't have it any other way. So for all you men who are starting to think about your "Jr.", instead you should be thinking about making a commitment with a quality person, because all the other stuff will fall into place in due time.

2004-08-11T19:36:00.000-04:00

I am getting way too good at taking my own photo. I am going to become such a loner soon....I know, I know, I need to work on those tan lines. I tried but since the skin changes color at the same speed, there is no way to even it out unless I do the fake spray on. - GROSS!

3 day work week

2004-08-10T21:36:00.000-04:00

I called in sick at work today to get my hair done and hang out with a friend. I have unlimited sick days and I never take them (even when sick) so I might as well start. I have to go to a training class for work in Norwalk, CT tomorrow so I get to be out of the office again. I deserve it since I have to catch a 7:00 a.m. train from Grand Central. The firm is lucky I am only taking a car to the station and not all the way to CT. On Thursday we have lunch at Sushi Samba for the girl who quit (yes, my stupid firm gives people going away lunches when they quit). So I only plan to do work on Friday. Go me!!

My travel dept. at work got me a great deal at the hotel I am staying at with the Writer. One night free and $99 for the additional two nights. The Writer was nice enough to say he would pick up the hotel costs since I am paying for my ticket.

Summer is almost over. I must start planning my winter vacations. Morocco and Cuba are in negotiations.

New Men?

2004-08-09T23:15:00.000-04:00

As I look at my almost barren social calendar this week (no offense to my platonic friends), I realize I need to start meeting new men. The Lawyer and I are supposed to go bowling and hopefully MC will pull himself away from work to make that trip to the zoo he promised. MC will be leaving me in less than two weeks. He is going back to business school at Michigan and making a stop to see his family in CA. The Writer may not turn into anything serious because of the distance and since there is someone in the D.C. office that does the same job as me, chances are I will not get to go down there as often as I would like (on the firm anyway). Officer London is over. He wanted a girlfriend immediately and I needed time to be sure. Moe is too flaky and wants kids soon (he is 37) and if we get serious, when we break-up it will be too annoying to go to my favorite bar. I know what you are thinking, I am already planning the end of the relationship before it happens. I have a problem with that. It helps me get ready for the worst, but I have been told that it also causes the worst to happen. When I look at my future, I can't see happily ever after with a guy I love. I always see him leaving in the end, so I expect it before it happens....but I digress. This only leaves the Lawyer as a solid prospect. Perhaps I like dating men I know there is no future with? My shrink once told me that, but I don't think it's true. It's just the way shit works out for me. Frankly, I like the lawyer and I would date him exclusively, but I can't trust a man who tells me that at a bachelor party for ten men, there should be 70 strippers - one for every hole in the each man. I learn to trust my gut and it tells me he has a lot of women on his plate despite him always chiding me for being a "serial dater." Surely a man who purchased a $1000 Marc Jacobs for his last girlfriend on Valentine's Day is not lonely at night. At the very least, I hope his ex is giving it up on a regular basis to help pay off the bag :o)

So, now I am kind of pissed that I will be out of town for the next lock and key party for singles in NY (www.LockandKeyParties.com) because I will be in D.C. with the Writer. I have never been to one of these events, but they sound cool and it can't hurt. Match.com is not pulling in any worthy contenders. I mean, I know my spelling on the blog may not be perfect, but this is written off the cuff. An ad on a dating website should be written with some care. If you tell me to "take a peak" at your profile, obviously we went to different schools. If you can't read the part where I say no men with children and you have 3 kids, it's apparent we could not be in the same book club. I don't think I ask for much. I am not looking for prince charming to come sweep me up. I just want a man I am attracted to (notice I did not say cute) to call my own. If anyone has other suggestions for meeting people, let me know. I don't go to clubs and I don't pick up strange men in the street (surprisingly, I met the ex that way and we know how that turned out). Time is of the essence. Not because I am on a schedule like her, but because come September work is going to be out of control and I won't have time to test beds like Goldilocks. I don't want to spend this winter with a fuck buddy. The last one I had on tap moved to L.A. to pursue his acting career. You may have seen him in a few commercials. I won't name names. FYI - Hot model/actor guys make the perfect fuck buddies. They never want a commitment no matter how well you put it down because they are always thinking about themselves. Perfect for that type of relationship. They may want to take you on a "date" where you watch the car while they run into go-sees. It's not that hard, just keep pulling around the block. And always tell them how skinny they are getting.

One Foggy Sunday

2004-08-09T13:10:00.000-04:00

Sunday is supposed to be the day of rest. As Rick James would say, marijuana is a helluva drug. I started off on the right foot and went to brunch at Amy Ruth's with a friend (one of the pair of cousins mentioned in a previous post) where we caught up and discussed the antics from our last Labor Day weekend spent in Miami. I let it be known that I had no intention of seeing him or his cousin outside of NYC. They don't have a hotel room yet and things are looking tight so hopefully they will cancel their trip. We went back to his place to smoke out and for me to check out his new digs and we watched 25th Hour. I love that movie no matter how many times I see it. Suddenly I awoke at 6:30 and realized I had wasted the entire afternoon in bed (fully dressed). Feeling like such as ass for hanging out in his bed all day without so much as a kiss from me, even after he paid for brunch, I decided to leave quickly and headed back home. Still groggy and incoherent, I watched Lost in Translation finally and then decided to head to the bar.

Moe's is the only bar I like in my neighborhood, so despite my better judgment, that is where I went. Of course, "Moe" that guy I have been out with a few times was there. I was hoping to have a drink with the ex, just for old time sake and I knew he would serve as a distraction. I also want "Moe" to be clear that he is not even close to being exclusive with me as he assumed at the end of our last date. Well the ex said he was out somewhere, so I headed in alone. Five minutes into drinks and conversation with "Moe", the ex calls back to say he will be over in a few minutes. I can't remember the last time I felt so uncomfortable. I told "Moe" what was going on and he was cool with it (or so he said). When the ex walked in and I introduced them, I got up to buy the ex a drink. When I came back to where "Moe" and I were sitting, he had gone off to say hello to someone, so I took that as an exit and took the ex to the back of the bar to sit down and chat. During the hour we sat in the back, "Moe" walked back and forth passed us a few times, trying his best not to be obvious. Later on, the ex and I were done and proceeded to leave the bar. I gave "Moe" a kiss on he cheek goodnight and headed back the ex's house. Let's just say I came home this morning. I have no idea what "Moe" is going to say to me the next time he sees me - and I really don't care. If you go out on dates with someone who works at a bar, are you no longer entitled to hang out with other people in the bar? Something doesn't seem fair.

Buttercup Is Shy Sometimes

2004-08-06T21:56:00.000-04:00

I booked a room at the Rouge Hotel for the Writer and I for our next weekend together. It’s a very sexy hotel and is a sister hotel of the Hotel Helix where we stayed last month.

I have been asked to submit to participate in a dating/erotic live reading at Stand Up NY on Sept. 14th (if you are interested, contact tess@networkinggirl.com – She also has a blog with great stories at http://networkinggirl.blogspot.com/. I received the e-mail today with all the details and I must say for one of the few times in my life I am scared. I saw the word press and I immediately got nervous. I am a brazen woman who backs down from nothing but the thought of a personal story being immortalized in some media form with my real name and image attached to it was a bit much. You might be thinking, “That’s what you do on this blog.” In fact, this blog is a small portion of all that I experience in a day. I do take the liberty to edit a story to my liking; after all, a girl has to have some secrets. I sometimes wonder about the impression my blog gives to men who I have gone out with who read it. I am a very liberal gal who also happens to have a conservative streak (I work at a law firm, I went to prep school, I love wearing suits, I am a registered republican, don’t worry I hate Bush too). Sometimes I think people who read this might think I am a serial dater (as one guy told me) or a playgirl. In all honesty I am just a girl who is getting over a broken heart by playing the field in hopes of finding a guy I can fall in love with again. Since that is not going to happen over night, I just enjoy the male company that I can, when I can.

So as I find more and more blogs to read each day (notice the growing blog roll – I can’t keep up) I always wonder about the people behind those blogs. How old are they? What did they study in school? What do they do for a living? How tall are they? What do they look like? Why do they blog? What are their goals? I am sure people are thinking the same thing if they stumble across my blog. So, I have decided to give you the opportunity to change that. Every reader is entitled to ask me three questions which I will answer honestly (I’m a Leo, we don’t shy from the truth) and quickly (within 24 hours). Simply leave your question in the comments section or send me an e-mail to bitchinbuttercup@yahoo.com.

The Writer Shoots and Scores

2004-08-06T07:57:00.000-04:00

So after dinner with my friend Steve at Cuba Libre to celebrate my belated birthday and exchange gifts from our recent travels, I received a blank voicemail. Checking the call from number I see it was from the Writer so I rang him back. He was still at the office and he just wanted to chat, but when he got my voicemail he didn't know what to say so he paused for so long he just hung up. During our convo he kept asking if I was sure I was coming down and if I was going to make time to see him. It felt really nice to have someone looking forward to see me - besides Snoopy of course. We talked later when he got off of work and let's just say a very sexy conversation ensued. He has been busy at work and unable to write so he was very frustrated. I did what I could from NY to help him through that. The Writer slept like a baby last night.

Going to Miami?

2004-08-05T18:59:00.000-04:00

Well it seems that two guys I use to date are both going to be in Miami, together, on labor day weekend when I plan to be there. Did I mention they are cousins? What did I do to deserve this? As a side tip - Never date guys who are related unless you are doing it out of revenge.

Let's just say that the last time we were all in South Beach at the same time, drama and mayhem ensued. Hopefully South Beach is big enough for everyone. My "brother" knows all the promoters so needless to say we get into all the parties free with no waiting in line. Last time we allowed them to ride our coat tails. This time, we will be waving at them as "We don't pay admission and the bouncers don't check us and we walk around the metal detectors..." Remy Martin said it best.

"Meet Up" #2 - The Lawyer

2004-08-05T04:18:00.000-04:00

Last night the Lawyer and I hung out. As per the lawyer, you can't have an official "date" with him until you have had four prior "meet-ups". So, this being our second time meeting up, I have to see him two more times before we have an official date - whatever! He also has rules about not kissing until the first date. He broke that rule too last night. We went to a party at Flow. It was a cute spot with a cool crowd and an open bar - needless to say Lawyer got twisted. Poor thing can't hold a drink to save his life :o( I can't believe I am digging a lawyer. He even has a little belly which secretly I love on guys. I like the mini version of the beer belly over the six pack any day.

2004-08-04T20:09:00.000-04:00

This is the proof that I have my camera back. It's not the best picture, but what do you expect from someone who probably had no clue about the instruction I gave to take my picture due to the language barrier. This is me in Spain!!!! Yes, I got my luggage back about 10 minutes ago. And I must go welcome back all my stuff!

I wanna get in the zone

2004-08-04T03:38:00.000-04:00

I am finally starting to feel back into the swing of things. Work still sucks. A woman in my dept. quit yesterday. I think she was on her way to getting fired and just wanted to beat them to the punch. I am very jealous of her right now, but I know my career situation will work itself out if I have patience and stay focused.

The Lawyer and I had a lovely conversation on Monday for about 3 hours. It has been a long time since I have talked on the phone with a boy (well, he is 33) for that long. I felt like a teenager with a crush, it was really refreshing. Last night I went to Cafe Noir with Moe, then to Moe's and we capped off the night at Scopella. We have a good time together, but it's a bit presumptuous to tell someone when you leave them, "You know you are going to be my woman. I hope you know that's where this is going." If I said the same thing to a guy, he would be running so fast I would only remember him as a blur. I have to remember to pace myself with him so I don't get accused of leading him on a la Officer London. He is a good kisser, so I didn't care and after 3 Frozen Mojitos and 2 rum and cokes, I didn't care. But kissing is still innocent, isn't it.

I finally booked my ticket to Miami for Labor Day weekend and my ticket to D.C. to see the Writer. I am getting a bit antsy about being back in NY - I always feel like I should be planning a trip the minute I get back from one. These may be my last personal trips once my work load picks up this fall.

I actually had a good day at work today

Meetings - 3
Free Lunch - 1
Duration of Free Lunch - 2 hours
Work - 0

Luggage Update - Luggage was sent to my work where it was rejected by security because they wanted to remove my luggage luck. I am shocked it had gone all this way without those airport security folks opening it. I also work very close to Grand Central and with the recent terror threats I guess my building is trying to be safe. So now my luggage has gone back to JFK, I was called with this update and now have to wait for it to be re-delivered back to my apartment. Thank God I live in a doorman building :o) I can't wait to unpack and welcome all my clothes and shoes back with a kiss.

British Airways Averts Casualty - NOT!!!

2004-08-02T14:15:00.000-04:00

My luggage has been found!!!!! I haven't skipped in years and I skipped all up and down my hallway. This according to the man on the phone who hopefully wasn't lying. He said the bag has to go through customs first but then I could come and pick it up - I don't trust them delivering it. I will post again when the luggage is officially in my hands!!! I am so happy I didn't have to kill any airline employees. I plan to stay out of jail for at least the remainder of the year. I am 26 now afterall. I guess I am supposed to start acting like an adult. Thanks to my sweet boss who let me leave today at noon since I have yet to go to sleep with anxiety over this luggage.

Update: My bag is still at Heathrow. Lying British Airways bastards!! I made them give me $100 for the trouble of gong to JFK and back without my shit. They say they will courier it to me first thing tomorrow after it lands. We shall see.....

I'm Back

2004-08-02T02:15:00.000-04:00

So much to say, I don't know where to start. This blog will be a ramble. I don't know why I feel the need to say that shit cause it's my blog and I'll ramble if I want to.

The European cable in the hotel was crazy. I didn't realize so many rap videos have X rated versions. Why not cut to the chase and just have a real porn with the rappers fucking chicks and the music playing in the background. Then at least there could be some equal opportunity nudity. Nelly, Ludacris and 50 Cent are all guilty. I am sure there were more but I did not spend my vacation in front of the T.V.

Why don't Spaniards speak English. If England/the U.K. was the original hegemon and the U.S. holds the current position, why didn't we make mother fuckers learn English after we came through taking shit over? I want some answers. Can you tell I am bitter because my Spanish sucks? Yeah, yeah I am part Cuban, Panamanian and African-American, but my accent says gringo the minute I speak Spanish.

Be careful with shrimp/prawns in Spain. A lot of them come with the head and tentacles in place. YUK!!!

Best things about Spain - I was able to tan the breasts with no problems. Too bad it took me a few days to realize that, so I still have bikini lines on top which are different colors than the bottom. Must go to the salon to fix that this week. Bars in Spain sell Havana Club rum (Cuban baby!!!). The shopping was off the chain. I spent way too much money. Can someone explain why I purchased about 200 Euro worth of lingerie from this spot. We need one of these chains in the states.

Worst things about Spain - they party til 7 a.m. which definitely showed me how old I am getting. A lot of men sweat too much in the heat and don't smell good as a result ( I took about 4 showers a day there, man is my skin dry :o(I found a better Italian restaurant than I did a Spanish restaurant. I guess I love my rice and beans. I think poor people make better food because they appreciate it more. Hence better food in places like Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico and Cuba. Also, I didn't get as dark as I wanted. My dermatologist put the fear of God in me when she mentioned that even black people get skin cancer. I had no clue. What good is all this melanin if it doesn't protect you from the sun or the police :o)

Did anyone know that Lil Kim, Keith Murray and Young MC have NEW videos out? Apparently if you fall off over here you are still hot over there - the Europeans love black music.

All in all, I had a fab time. Next big solo vacation will be to Italy and perhaps Paris. Hopefully the dollar will get better so I can really leave with just a purse and come back with a new wardrobe (and maybe even a sexy Italian boyfriend). All this talk and I forgot to mention that British Airways lost a piece of my luggage. The one with all the clothes I took with me plus all the new shit I purchased. Not to mention a few irreplaceable pairs of Choo's (the infamous butterfly sandal) and Blahnik's (the Gisele S&M shoe). Needless to say I am pissed. I am trying to think positively about it so you don't have to read about Buttercup going to jail because she killed some British Airways employee. I wonder if I could get off for insanity for that.... I am a bonafide NYer, I have a shrink who would sign a paper confirming my insanity.

Spain Updates

2004-07-28T10:59:00.000-04:00

I don´t want to spend all day on the computer so this will not be a well thought out blog...

I am not as dark as I want to be yet. I have been doing more sightseeing and shopping than tanning. That will change by Friday/Saturday.

Norwegian Wood by Murakami (not the handbag designer) is an amazing book. It made me cry on the beach (hard to do). Love is such a powerful emotion. I hate being in love and I hate not being in love. I hate the ex for consuming my thoughts more than he should. I guess that´s because he was the last person I loved. C´est la vie. He tells me "goodbye" but then reads the blog. WTF???? How do you block someone from reading?Just him, the rest of you can stay. Thanks to Matt for recommending the book. Bad man thinks that more sex will help you forget a past love. Mental note, must have more sex. I had planned on possibly indulging while here, it being my birthday and all and you should get laid on your birthday, but ALL of the Spanish men here I have met smell, BAD! Musty balls is not a sexy thought. Will make up for this when I get back. Cute but stinky. FYI, Adrian Grenier is half Native American, half European. Not a Latin cell in his body, as per Instyle.

The food here is pretty good. Not as good as food I have had in Cuba, but satisfying. It´s hard to get full in this heat. That siesta thing is a good idea. I just awoke from a nap (it is 5pm here) After I am done at this internet cafe, I will go enjoy a huge birthday dinner and then probably get drunk off sangria. I had to buy a watch. The last watch I wore was a Powerpuff girls watch. This one is adult, a Swatch. My cell phone usually keeps time, but not here obviously. I also purchased shoes (I am a woman), clothes, and some gifts for two people. Not a lot to buy here. The street fair today reminded me of Canal Street. Africans sell fake Louis Vuitton EVERYWHERE!!! Tomorrow the fair is supposed to have nice leather goods. I hope to find something suitable for the godfather (mine, not Brando).

My hotel is as gorgeous as the website, www.hotelsanlorenzo.com. The Spanish are nice, but not as nice as other Latin places I have visited. Must go, internet card running out.

Buttercup Blogs from Spain

2004-07-25T13:50:00.000-04:00

I just want to let everyone know I arrived safely, despite being hassled by security for some strange reason at the airport in Palma. The town is lovely; I have only been here for 5 hours or so but I have done lots of window shopping and devoured a lovely meal washed down by sangria. Sunday is a day of rest in Palma so many things are closed. If I get time, I will keep you posted on my activities.

Thanks to Lawyer for showing me a great time on Friday. I am glad I was able to prove to him that not all people you meet on Craig´s List are fat, ugly and weird. Lawyer and I wrote lists of what was wrong with the other. At the top of my list was that I am controlling (so what, I´m a Leo) and at the top of his list was that Lawyer cannot hold his liquor! I got that boy so messed up he was ready to let me drive his car and I don´t even have a license.

MC was so sweet and made up for not seeing me all week by coming to Brooklyn to take me on a goodbye/happy b-day lunch. We had Mexican next door to Moe´s and then took a lovely stroll through Fort Greene and capped the afternoon off sitting in the park watching the dogs romp. It was definitely worth almost missing my plane. Flirting came in handy at the check-in gate because I was upgraded after a few batted eyelashes! MC and I have more in common than I thought and I really hope at the very least we can be friends after he leaves NY in Sept. I´m going to do my best not to get too attached since he is leaving but we do have a Brand Nubian show and a visit to the zoo on the schedule before he goes back to Ann Arbor.

Adios from Mallorca!

Sunshine and Rain

2004-07-23T12:49:00.000-04:00

It seems Sun has taken an earlier flight to Spain from NY and left without me. Don't worry Sun, I'll catch up with you on Sunday.

I went to CompUSA to pick up my new memory card (no time to wait for shipping) and came back fresh as a baby's ass out of the shower - except I did not have the luxury of taking this shower naked.

Text to Lawyer - "I am so wet....and disheveled. If we still meet tonight you must not hold it against me."

Being wet is never a bad thing....is it?

Only 32 more hours until my flight on Saturday - yippee!!!

Joys? of being single

2004-07-22T23:46:00.000-04:00

Her boyfriend has been gone visiting dying family member for 7 weeks). He and I used to hang out almost as much as I hung out with her.

Me: So when does he get back? I would like to see him.
Her: He gets back next Wednesday, the day of your birthday.
Me: What great timing. What do you have planned for his return.
Her: I am cleaning the apartment.
Me: That's it.
Her: Yeah, I took Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off.
Me: That's fun. You guys should book a trip.
Her: No, he has been gone seven weeks. We are going to stay in and fuck all day until I go back to work on Monday.
Me: Wow, I've gone longer than that.
Her: Your single.

Lawyers and Sangria

2004-07-22T23:19:00.000-04:00

Have decided to leave NY with final date with new lawyer guy. Shitty friends (I still love them to pieces, except for Jennifer Wade at this moment) suck at getting together a cohesive plan for birthday drinks before I depart. As usual, I will spearhead the celebration when I return. After discussions, it has been determined that lawyer guy is not a large firm lawyer, but rather a New York city lawyer working on Labor & Employment issues for some government agency (cannot recall exact agency due to marjarita intake prior to conversation). He also had a good reason for the whole Lot 61 thing - he is not a native NYer. Classic! I can corrupt him. For starters, there are loads better places to go on a Friday night....I hope.

Why did Amazon send me the wrong memory card? Dumb Fucks!@! Scored a last minute one from CompUSA. Hopefully nothing else will go wrong with this vacation. With the exception of the shitty exchange rate for Euros - my 1k will currently get me 861 Euros. Does anyone know how much each pitcher of Sangria is?

Legal Discrimination

2004-07-22T16:12:00.000-04:00

Since I work at a law firm, have worked at two others in the past and dated several lawyers, I decided after the last lawyer to never talk to another lawyer unless 1) it was work related or 2) I had been arrested or wronged. Well I have been talking sporadically over e-mail with a guy I met on Craig's List and just found out today he was lawyer. Voice-mail from potential date after my rejection of his idea to meet him at Lot 61, "Excuses, excuses. You don't do clubs? The only reason I am going out is because I have been so busy with this trial I need to unwind. Hopefully we can get together before you leave."

WTF??!!?? Not once has he mentioned the legal profession. Me being not so much concerned these days with a guys job title, never asked. Associate, Partner, Staff Attorney, Of Counsel, Counsel - these are titles I want nothing to do with. So now my dilemma - is it wrong to discriminate based on job. Does anyone know what kind of crowd Lot 61 attracts on a Friday night? Was I too quick to dismiss that idea? What happened to let's get a drink and see if you can hold a conversation for longer than 10 minutes?

Cure for Jet Lag

2004-07-22T00:20:00.000-04:00

So I am flying to Ibiza and Mallorca on Saturday night and not arriving until Sunday afternoon. Who should be the last person I see before I leave? I need some male interaction to analyze on the flight. Of course Ed will win the last seen portion by circumstance since he offered a ride to the airport. Thanks again - love a friend who offers a favor!

I would love to have a naked tango with MC for memory sake during the plane ride and the trip (just in case none of the Spaniards pan out). He is also more laid back than Moe which is intriguing because I am wondering what I have to do to get a reaction out of him. I want to test him until he becomes animated; I don't really care if the release is positive or negative, as long as he gets off this even wave. However, Moe continues to surprise and impress me. In addition to the creepy stalking, like remembering every date and every outfit in his bar, he also has popped up to take me to lunch in the city twice this week.

Thank God - since the only thing I had to look forward to today was the ice cream social at work. Law firms know deep down they treat you like shit, so every now and then they give out bagels for breakfast or ice cream and think they have restored the status quo.

Tonight I went to the Bad Boy P. Diddy comedy show with my boy Ed, looked at the line and decided to hang out in Fort Greene park instead and smoke out while we played with dogs. Nothing like a good white carb to cure the munchies, so we headed to One Greene and chowed down on edamame, seaweed salad, sushi and sashimi. To keep that feeling of being too full at bay, we head back through the brownstones of Fort Greene and finished off the joint. Of course we then hit Moe's. I was very lucky that my manager friend was not there, so we were able to hang out without interruption. After one too many rounds and realizing how much sake, frozen mojitos and Corona I have had, I was ready to hit the sack. 2 more days of hanging out til Spain. 2 more days of finding out exactly what folks got me for the birthday. Leos love gifts!

Looking for Buttercup

2004-07-20T19:28:00.000-04:00

There is a certain sense of power and intrigue that comes from the idea that near and far some guy who has heard of me or may have met me is taking his sweet precious time performing google searches to find me and/or my blog. Wouldn't have been easier to just ask for the URL?

D.C. update - I read some of the short stories from my D.C. youngin. His stories are so poignant, powerful and vibrant. They tell stories of people in pain and people on the side lines. I loved them. I imagined destroying the suite we enjoyed on my last trip with our wild night and then being awoken at dawn with a live reading of a new piece. We shall have to save that for the next trip and make sure I don't get drunk with any summer associates at the firm first. Tipsy+Sex= GO, Drunk+Sex= NO. We exchanged some e-mails. Hopefully I will see him after Spain next week but before Miami for Labor Day.

Last Minute Gifts

2004-07-19T23:54:00.000-04:00

Well for all you that have yet to get me something for my birthday, today is your lucky day. Ipod just dropped it's price $100 so the 40G model would be great! If you engraved it with "Buttercup" I would be extra grateful. I could also use a good jewelry box. They sell nice ones at Hallmark. I need a large one, so go with the $75 model. I am not dripping in ice yet, but those street fairs across the world always get the best of me. Lastly, I refuse to succumb to the bullshit that is the world of digital cameras and get the memory card that I need for my trip to Spain. So, why don't you take the liberty of doing it for me?

Crazy Bitch

2004-07-19T21:56:00.000-04:00

This bitch is the reason that men are afraid of marriage. It's like that show where the people peeled their faces to reveal aliens. Men probably think that once they pop the question, they will peel back a woman like this!

Thanks to Chris for pointing out this site. Thank God my mother taught me that the knight in shining armor fantasy with a hot rich guy was bullshit and she made sure she gave me a nice education so I would not worry about a husband. Don't get me wrong, I still worry about getting laid as frequently as I would like by the right guy :o)

Men, Rats and Rules - Part 2

2004-07-19T19:27:00.000-04:00

Lex has written a response to my suggestion of divine indifference:

Hi Buttercup. No worries about lack of permissions...I am flattered that you quoted me.

You make a very good point. Divine Indifference definitely works, on both males and females, but it drives the men truly insane. They are not used to being ignored, and as you can see in our friend BadMan's site, there is no greater turnoff than hearing the words, "I'm starting to care for you", after a casual romp in bed with a fling.

This Indifference you suggest reminds me of THE RULES, no? Personally, my mother always told me what her mother always told her: "Never call a guy. Let him call you."

Did you ever notice that the guys you don't really care for are the ones who pursue you the most aggressively? The ones that you don't call, call right on time and frequently? This is the proof.

It is REALLY DIFFICULT to be an aggressive, independent, and forthright woman these days, when ancient rules still apply. (Buttercup comment - TOO fucking true, honesty is not as appreciated as people might think)

Between all this Worshipping, Being Worshipped and Being Indifferent, can we agree that these terms only apply to either relationships that are casual, or just starting, or the kind that go nowhere? I still hold that none of these options are suitable for a fulfilling, REAL relationship.

While I have never read "The Rules", I do think that I follow rules when I date guys I like. If I see no future with you, but you are hot, I might hang out with you for a while to kill time but eventually I will get bored. Being a Leo, I need to be kept excited. With the two men I have loved and have loved me in return (which are the only two REAL relationships I have had - sorry to any guy I have gone out with who is reading this, you were a placeholder), I have not followed the path or worship, be worshipped, or be indifferent. But, I also came out of both those relationships burned and looking back it was because I gave my heart too quickly (i.e, before they gave theirs). No one likes to go out on a limb alone and if you go out there first, the guy has a chance to take his time joining you or leave you sitting out there looking stupid. And my grandma, mother, best male friend (and the ex!!) said it best - you should marry a guy who loves you more than you love him. You can start this by letting him go out there on that limb first. Love can never be perfectly 50/50 and women give up more in marriage than men anyway.

So now, even if I like someone, I play the field and hope they show me their true colors first. If they do, and the feeling is mutual, I drop everything/everyone else (all other men on the plate) like a bad habit (which cost me a great potential real relationship with the DJ because of the ex who thought he wanted me but changed his mind months later). If they don't, I guess it was never meant to be but that does not mean we can't be friends (really!). This is where we transition from dating to "hanging out". Through this process, I have gotten my great collection of male friends who will do anything and everything for me, because I never acted interested in them and they never got to fuck me. Men love that shit.

Please note that special rules apply for fuck buddies. Said rules may be addressed in future posts.

Men and Rats

2004-07-19T16:48:00.000-04:00

Reprinted without permission from Lex's Blog:

Right now I am reading BadMan's bible :"The Joy of Letting Women Down", by Natalie D'Arbeloff. The premise is that there are two types of men in this world: the Reliable Male and the Worshipped Male. The reliable male, is generally, what you'd call a "nice guy." He treats women well, he sounds good on paper, you wouldn't mind being seen with him at a restaurant...Unfortunately for him, he doesn't drive women wild with passion. No. On the other hand, the Worshipped Male is the bad boy who seems to always get the girls...women know what they're getting into, but they don't care. He drives them mad with lust.

The author of this book does have a good point--women tend to go for the guy who makes them nervous, and unsure about how he feels about them. Is he going to call? Is he checking out that model at the end of the bar? Does he care about me as a person? For example, the Worshipped Male (WM) must use the tactic of "Hit/Miss" to reel a girl in...You give a girl something pleasurable (a great, fabulous date that makes her feel like she's the only one in your life), followed by something unexplained (no call for five days!). Then, five days later, "What are you up to on Friday?" Addiction is thusly formed.

This bears an odd resemblance to an experiment I performed on rats during my senior year as a psychology major. For rats, the Hit/Miss tactic is the equivalent of giving them a pellet of food when they press a bar , and then to not give them any food at all, even when they press the bar exactly the same way as before. This causes a rat to do some pretty insane things---they become superstitious. They claw at the bar. They run in circles around the cage. They hit it over and over. Eventually, they cower in the corner, shivering, reduced to near paralysis. One more try--and then, yes! A pellet of food! Rat forgets the torment she just endured, and starts to press the bar again, hoping for the next litle morsel of pleasure.

I think this is a great process--if you want to attract rats. I know we've all been through this, man or woman. Sometimes you only want a challenge. The point is to "win" the affection of another person, but once it is won, it is no longer fun. Badman indeed gets any woman he wants--read his blog. He's a force to be reckoned with. But I think he might admit that eventually, he would like to meet the right woman, who he doesn't feel the need to play headgames with.
Tactics such as these will attract women--but not women who are looking for a serious relationship, or who are eager to enter into a healthy and wonderful partnership with another person. Wait. Perhaps that's the point. This book is just about getting laid and growing your ego! Ah. Ok, I can stop writing now.

I think I've been on both sides of the coin: I have been worshipped and I have done my share of worshipping. But any type of unequal relationship, is, in the end, unfulfilling. And obviously, those relationships based on ego and lust did not work out...For example, the "Email Breakup" guy. Yes, it was extremely short-lived, but it represented the end of my phase of going after guys that just needed worshipping--the kind of guys who I knew in my gut from the moment I met them, that they wouldn't want a relationship, and I wasn't ready for one either.

Lex came thisclose to hitting the nail on the head. She neglected to mention one other option besides being worshipped or worshipping - divine indifference. Now, when I met new guys, I set no expectations, I don't start thinking about being his girlfriend, I don't make him the new sole focus of my life, I just sit back and enjoy the experience (and sometimes fantasize about sitting on his face). If you have no expectations, how can you get hurt? Sometimes men start acting like pussies (see Officer London posts) but most times, they enjoy the lack of pressure and you would be surprised how much they come suddenly come running!

Conversation with the Ex

2004-07-19T14:35:00.000-04:00

-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 2:01 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

for sure
cute
i'm sure UR pleased to see that UR brainwashing techniques are still up to par.

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:53 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

I knew that all along.

You seem to chew just fine the last time I saw you eat. Tell your future wife to sue me if you have problems doing anything else with your mouth.

Exactly. Glad to see you still have a brain.

-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:40 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

yes OE - DAG!
Actually I still having a chewing issue.
riiiiiiiiiight! So I tried to show off (by doing a trick or something similar) and messed up and paid the price by crashing head long into the hard icy skating surface almost smashing my skull open? correct?

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:26 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

Whateva.
You drink Old English. I think I got it down, right? You don't have any feelings to hurt. Your chin has heeled just fine. And that was not an S&M gift, it was a result of your attempt to show off at Wollman Rink.

-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:17 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

oh yeah forgot - that's UR line.
;-)
Now that HURTS! U forgot which malt liquor I drink... My feelings are hurt and my chin is getting a burning sensation... thanks for taking such pride in the S&M gift that I will take to the grave

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:10 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

Oh please. Don't start talking about hurt. You are talking to me afterall.
That's true, you like St. Ide's, right? I should remember considering I was
forced to purchase one when I busted up your chin.

-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:03 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

that hurts, even as a joke
not to worry though, i would never buy colt 45

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 12:50 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

No trouble. I wouldn't want you to get shot or anything.....well, on second
thought......just kidding.

  -----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 12:37 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

thanks for the info

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 12:32 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/27486.htm (reader note - link to story about two men shot in Queens over their desire for malt liquor)

Jennifer Wade is a BAD friend

2004-07-19T14:08:00.000-04:00

Rarely do I put my friends on blast on this blog or even give out their government names. Afterall, none of them read it and I don't want to them showing up in google. But Jennifer deserves this, so she is going to get it. We go back 13 years since the days we met at Prep. So then how did she think she could make her way to the city for a wedding, hang out with her little Columbia crew at One Little West 12 and then say that we could have dinner on Sunday and then turn her phone OFF (I know this because it went straight to voice-mail all day). Bitch! This is why I have never come to visit you at school. This is also why all my close friends are men. They are surprisingly more sensitive than you think. Only when you aren't fucking them of course :o)

Another Crappy Date

2004-07-19T00:08:00.000-04:00

I am so done with boring, shallow men that I can no longer take the energy to explain why I didn't connect with you or why I don't want you to call me. I surely don't have the energy to blog about why my date tonight sucked. So I will move on to better topics, my dog and T.V.

Here is the perfect reason why I love my dog Snoopy but, I also want to bash his head in sometimes. I gave all the dogs a large rawhide treat today. Those rawhides are a long term treat for my small dogs as it takes them a few days to finish them off. So after a while, Brandy and GiGi put their rawhide aside to save for latter. Sure enough I come home tonight to find that Snoopy has rounded up the treats from the other two and hidden them in my comforter. He sits calmy in the hallway with his own treat as if he has no idea why he is the only one with one left. I love the little guy cause he has balls, but every now and then when I walk him, I see a Pit Bull or a Rotti and wish they would kick the shit out of him just to teach him a lesson.

I am sorry I missed the new HBO show Entourage. The lead actor, Adrian Grenier is gorgeous. And he is from Brooklyn. Of course he loses points for once dating Melissa Joan Hart. I will be in Spain in less than a week. Hopefully all the men I meet will look just like him. If anyone watched the show and loved it or hated it, hit me in the comments box. I didn't read grebat things, but what do you expect from Marky Mark?

Diddy Does Comedy

2004-07-18T13:15:00.000-04:00

Well my hairdresser's husband is a member of Diddy's entourage. Needless to say, it's fun to get my hair done and be regaled with tales of her weekends in the Hamptons, Dominican Republic, and Paris. As long as the bitch is back to do my hair when I need her to, I am cool with her many trips. Well she signed me up for some live taping of a comedy show in Brooklyn titled "Bad Boy Comedy". So now Diddy is going to have a television show about comedy. Producing, rapping, broadway, movies, fashion, politics, comedy?? Is it me, or is this Diddy overkill. Now I have to round up three folks to attend with me this Wednesday. I will be sure to post a review following.

Nickname Background

2004-07-17T19:45:00.000-04:00

People always give me a funny look when they see my nickname Buttercup somewhere. It's on my phone, it's the name of my computer, I use it as an e-mail address, and of course it is the moniker for this blog. Well, my nickname comes from the Buttercup of Powerpuff Girls fame. If you have ever seen the show or the movie, you know there is nothing funny about Buttercup. She is the toughest fighter of the three, who acts first and thinks second. A guy I used to date who is now a good friend (despite the fact that he stuck his tongue down my throat over lunch last week) branded me as his personal Buttercup a few years ago. It got a little crazy when I had all the PPG games on my Gameboy, the PPG watch and Buddy icon, etc. Here are some links to Buttercup character descriptions - trust that she is not to be fucked with.

Fuck Prozac

2004-07-17T19:34:00.000-04:00

Well according to a recent study, sex, not money, buys happiness. For all of you with a Prozac, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Effexor, or Paxil prescription - just say no to drugs and have find someone to get busy with instead!

From the Whitney to Slick Rick

2004-07-17T16:15:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, despite my boss acting like he left his balls at home recently, he gave me a Summer Friday which means I left the office at 3:00 p.m. So after a wardrobe change at home, I met my friend at the Whitney. Friday is "pay what you wish" day so we dropped a dollar and were off to see the exhibits. I won't go into their permanent collection or the Ed Ruscha exhibit which were both good, but Ana Mendieta's work is AMAZING. For those of you who don't know, I have a thing for crazy people. I love people who are "off" and Ana certainly is. I guess that also explains my fascination with Angelina Jolie - besides her perfect face and body. Mendieta's work included one photo of her covered by a white sheet, with the white sheet covered in blood and an animal heart over her own heart under the sheet. Another piece was a series of photos of Ana and a man as he shaved his beard off and she re-applied it to her own face. My favorite photo was of Ana covered in a chicken's blood and feathered so that she herself became the chicken. I know this may sound a little odd as I describe it, but seeing the work visually was moving. Ana became one with each of her works, hence the title "Earth and Body". For me, great art is personal and each photo, sculpture and movie clip was an clear expression of her and her thoughts.

After working of an appetite, we hit Serafina, my new favorite restaurant on the Upper East Side. Everything was perfect from the salmon and tuna tartar, to the pasta with calamari and shrimp, to the ravioli. The waiter selected a complimentary chardonnay and the setting suggested an old Italian village. If you every in the area, I suggest a visit.

We got wind of a concert at the Hammerstein Ballroom featuring Slick Rick and Kanye West - needless to say we were there. In my "old" age, I still have a candle burning for Slick Rick the Ruler. I grew up on tracks like Children's Story and Hey Young World and Slick Rick delivered! Kanye West is also a great live act as he knew how to tease the crowd before closing his set with Jesus Walks. You would have thought the hardest thugs in world were auditioning for a church choir! The evening ended for us at daybreak and I can't believe it has taken me an hour to finish this post. As you can deduce, my mind is still in a haze.

Happy Saturday. And Ed thanks for breakfast, but, you will never see your Knicks tee-shirt again. Sorry.

Google Store

2004-07-16T12:01:00.000-04:00

As if they won't make enough money from their IPO, google also has a store. They sell everything from onesies for babies to google bean bags.....just the thing I was looking for to redecorate the apartment.

Rainy Roots Recap

2004-07-15T22:51:00.000-04:00

I have been reminded that I did not fill you guys in on the Roots date with MC. Well things did not start off well - MC left his phone at work so after not hearing from him I began to think I was stood up. I got kind of wet waiting in the rain for the Roots to begin their set. When they finally did go on, it was hot, but they did 5 songs!!! What a waste. Well I went home alone and wet and kind of pissed that I was stood up. No more than ten minutes later MC calls and explains and we decide to hit the after party despite us both having to work the next day. Luckily by this point the weather cleared up, so I changed out of my wet soggy boots and slipped on some sandals instead. After teaching MC about the trains, we hit the party which was overpriced, empty and the bouncer had the nerve to be selective despite the lack of a crowd. Folks, this is why I do not participate in the club scene in NY.

We stayed at the club for 3 rounds and talked about everything under the sun. I love a man who can say more to me than "Damn ma, you got a phat ass", so he won cool points for that. We moved the party to APT, which was FREE and way more poppin'. We stayed there for a few more rounds when my stomach started telling me, "Hey bitch, you only gave me an apple and some coffee today. What the fuck is your problem??". We capped off the night enjoying the Tipping Point, since the whole after party was a bust only to find out the next day according to www.okayplayer.com that not only did they perform, but Kweli and Musiq stopped by for guest spots. Needless to say I am pissed. I could have hung - after all I took a "sick" day. MC will not suffer from the one date per person rule. I'll keep you posted on our future endeavors.

Craig's List Sucks

2004-07-15T21:06:00.000-04:00

Well I went out for a quick drink tonight with a guy I met on Craig's List. He was very sarcastic and dry (which I like) but just not appealing for my eye. At first glance (from the photos he e-mailed me) I thought he was Italian, but actually he was Iranian. I am not picky about ethnicity so that did not bother me. What did annoy me was that I tried to guess how tall he was based on the surroundings in the room he was pictured in; boy was I wrong and the 4 inch heels I wore nearly towered over him. My rule of thumb is, if you don't want to rip his clothes off, don't see him again. Needless to say, despite us both sharing an astrological sign (Leo), we did not share our birthday suits.

I have only one date planned for the weekend, a follow-up with MC and possibly a friend of his visiting from out of town. I have never had a problem juggling men, so showing two attractive men a good time in New York will be a piece of cake. Any cute chicks in the NY metro area want to tag along, hit me on e-mail and submit a photo and a reason why you should hang with us on Saturday (trust me ladies, the friend is hot, I just don't have any single female friends). I will post tomorrow with my review of the Ana Mendieta exhibit at the Whitney Museum. Thanks to my "Cuban doctor" for always reminding me that I should use my brain sometimes instead of just getting drunk every night this summer. Which reminds me, I have lost 5 pounds on a low food, high alcohol diet this past week. Perhaps the new diet craze will be the Vodka plan. You heard it here first.

No Worries, Be Happy

2004-07-14T17:21:00.000-04:00

Well all this time I was worried because I had not heard from my D.C. youngin or my Morris Chestnut (MC) look alike in a few days. Turns out that D.C. boy went on vacation and just got back to the office today and has been asking around if anyone had talked to me. So now my counterpart in D.C. is making fun of me asking what I did to him because he never goes to her office and all of a sudden he comes to her office to "chat". Let's see how long it takes for him to call me.

MC finally got back to my e-mail after 3 days (I guess everyone is not addicted to the computer like me) with an e-mail at 5:45 a.m.!!!! We are going to go to check out the Roots free concert (weather permitting) and then head to the afterparty.

Craig's List update - Despite the response from Al Roker's twin, I am meeting up with a hot real estate agent tomorrow for drinks that I met from that one post. He and I have a love affair in common - with mojitos!! I will have updates tomorrow night. Now I am off to brave the rain and change clothes to hang with MC. Stuffy suits are never sexy!

2004-07-14T00:20:00.000-04:00

Here is one last picture of Snoopy and his mom together. Now that you see Snoopy with each parent, who does he look more like, GiGi or Brandy?

2004-07-14T00:19:00.000-04:00

This is Snoopy's mom and GiGi's baby mama, Brandy. She is 4 years old. Yeah, I know, GiGi is a cradle robber. She is too aloof to look at the camera. Brandy is definitely a bitch in every sense of the word.

2004-07-14T00:17:00.000-04:00

This is GiGi who will be 15 years old this year. Next to him is his son Snoopy who is 1 year and 4 months. They usually don't get along well enough to sit this still but everyday they surprise me!

New Digital Camera

2004-07-14T00:08:00.000-04:00

Well, I got tired of not having a digital camera and borrowing the ex's or my "IT Manager" friend. So I ordered one up from Amazon and with one day shipping it was waiting for me when I got home tonight. I picked out the Minolta Dimage XG model which so far has taken some really good indoor photos. I can't wait until tomorrow when all eBay listings have a one cent gallery charge. Junk in the closet - Bye Bye! Money in my wallet - Hello!

I also snuck in some pictures of the family which I will post shortly. Not my family silly, my doggy family - Brandy, GiGi and Snoopy!

Leading Him On?

2004-07-13T10:29:00.000-04:00

I have been accused by Officer London of leading him on. I don't know how you can lead a guy on when you have been out with him no more than 6 times, disclosed the fact that you were dating other people, did not advance past kissing him and made it clear that if he could not be better at communicating time/plan changes you were no longer going to see him. I don't know how more upfront you can be. Men will be men I suppose, as usual, the minute you lose interest, their interest peaks.

Google Blog

2004-07-12T17:00:00.000-04:00

Did anyone know that Google had a blog? If not, well now you do. They are just getting started, but so far I am interested. It's fun to hear from insiders at a company. I wish I could start a blog for my firm, but we could probably get fired. Damn lawyers, always want to keep shit confidential.

Outdoor Movies

2004-07-12T00:15:00.000-04:00

I love outdoor movies. Ever since the ex took me about 2 years ago, I have been hooked. Here are a few links to nice outdoor movie options in NY. Enjoy!

1. Riverside
2. Bryant Park
3. Brooklyn Bridge
4. Williamsburg

There are others but even Buttercup keeps a secret.

Al Roker Twin

2004-07-11T23:50:00.000-04:00

Someone must be playing a cruel joke on me. Just for fun, I decided to post on craigslist and see what type of people I would get to respond to me. I only see two men out of 25 e-mails(better/faster response rate than match!) that I am even considering meeting in person. This man is one that does not have a shot in hell. I hate to sound shallow, but let's be serious, he looks like your local weather man.

FYI - I was telling a friend a story about meeting guys in person for the first time after the online introduction. I explained to her how it can be a bit scary getting into a car with a stranger so I have taken to carrying my sharpest cutting knife from the kitchen in my purse. She responds, "Why not get some mase or pepper spray"? Too prissy I say, I want to see the reward of blood shed from any man who attempts to take advantage of me. This shall serve as a warning.

Soho Saturday

2004-07-11T23:02:00.000-04:00

Well I loaded up on plans today, but only one came to fruition - eating and shopping with Sabby. My friend home from Cuba had to celebrate the anniversary of his grandfather's death so our plans to see a Cuban artist exhibit at the Whitney were scrapped. We will reschedule for the week. I also had a date with Officer London who called me at 12:15 a.m. to confirm plans and I didn't answer because I was out with the loser young guy from last night. Needless to say, suddenly Officer London's phone was broken all day until he sent me a text at 8:00 p.m. to tell me something "happened" and he can't make then. I sent one back asking him to call me. He responded that he was not in the mood to talk he would call me tomorrow. I told him not to bother because while I have enjoyed hanging out with him, I have decided to see someone else exclusively (lie!). Guess what - suddenly he was in the mood to talk. As I tell every guy I meet, I don't have time for bullshit. Good luck to Officer London should he choose to get back on match as he won't be seeing me again.

Well while Officer London was out being an inconsiderate fuck, I was enjoyed brunch at Cubana Cafe. Then we hit the Soho shops full force (side note - spent way too much money this pay period, must buy digital camera to take photos of old clothes to raise money on eBay for Spain trip. Well we then went back to her place to listen to Too Short and enjoy some sticky which only caused us to go back and get more food this time around at I Coppi. A fabulous evening as always (minus the fab meal that Officer London was to prepare for me). Thanks Sabby!

Buttercup vs. Young Buck - 15 - Love

2004-07-11T03:06:00.000-04:00

Well for those of you that don't follow tennis, love equates to ZERO and that is where the young bucks are at with the dates. My date was a perfect gentleman once we finally met up. Before that, he was two hours late and got lost locating my house on Eastern Parkway, a MAJOR street in Brooklyn. He did win points for the gorgeous pink and lilac roses he had for me which were beautifully arranged. He took me to a nice dinner and a movie DEEP in Sheepshead Bay, an area of Brooklyn I have yet to navigate. Too bad his conversation was not up to par, another reason the young guys will always lose. When you were practically born yesterday, you have nothing to talk about so you are not interesting yet. I love a man to inquire about me but if you can't show me why your life is unique and interesting, I never want to talk to you again. I have three dogs I can have a one sided conversation with and they are each easier on the eyes than any man I have ever met (except for you Becks).

So I am apologizing in advance but to the NY youngin' we will never go out again and its not because you were two hours late. On the other hand, I am ready to take some day trips to D.C. to see my youngin' down there. Does anyone know of a Chinatown bus that goes there cheap, similarly to the Boston bus?

Special Post for Shareef Jackson

2004-07-10T19:07:00.000-04:00

This post is for Shareef and anyone else who has a problem with the fact that I prefer men older than me (30 and up to be more precise). Below are my reasons:

1. I am at an age of commitment and I want a man who is as well.
2. I do not want children so I prefer to date a men who already has children or realizes they are overrated. I find that this is more likely to happen after 30 rather than before. My hope is to be a second wife.
3. Females mature faster than males (do some research on puberty if you don't believe me)
4. An older person, especially a male is more likely to be financially stable than a younger male recently out of college. It is a fact that earning power increases with age. No I am not a gold digger, but the things I like to do cost money.
5. An older man has had more intimate experiences in his lifetime and is no longer on a quest to score.

I hope this helps you understand why some women like an older man. But I will let you know how these two new young bucks fare. They could change my mind completely or make me never look at a young boy again. Don't worry - when I am 30-35 and have a really stable financial cushion, I am going to scour the Ivy campuses for new hot freshman.

"Informational Sessions" NOT dates

2004-07-10T14:56:00.000-04:00

Well last night I went out with the guy I met at Moe's, who also happens to work there. Those of you who read this blog consistently know who I am referring to. Going forward he will be referred to as "Moe". He claims to never pick people up at his bar - he is one of the managers (riiiiiight, if you picked me up, you pick up others) and that he has been seeing me in the bar for over a year and watching me and my mannerisms the entire time (a bit creepy if you ask me). I thought he was kidding until he described every guy I had ever been in there with and every outfit I had on when I have gone there (really, really creepy). Looking past that, we had a great conversation and a good time together until he informed me that our get together was not a proper date but rather an "informational session" to determine if in fact I was worthy of a date with him (I am, but due to scheduling conflicts that won't happen at least until Tuesday). My ex used to always tell me, you never know who is watching and boy was he right.

Up to bat tonight is a new guy from match. He is young (another 24 year old) but impressed me enough with his writing style and ambition to let me consider him. He has his own business (another techie) and works for Hotjobs (perhaps he can get a hot job for me). Will post with updates later.

Washington, D.C. revisited

2004-07-09T15:30:00.000-04:00

I had a blast in D.C. I had such a good night yesterday with some folks from the firm's office there that I decided to come home Friday afternoon to recover and sleep it off. Those summer associates sure know how to drink! Well I really fell hard for a new sweet guy from the office there. Stats - 6'1, white, originally from Rochester, lives in Annapolis and writes shorts stories and poetry in addition to his day job. Has been published six times. We talked a lot last month during my time in the office for my event during Reagan's funeral (see June 2004 posts), but I had no idea he was interested. I sent him an e-mail letting him know I would be down there last month and without further contact from me for over three weeks, he remembered he wanted to hang out with me last night and even cancelled plans to attend a good friend's going away party to be with me instead. I can't believe any of what happened last night (which I won't go into) because I can't fathom that I am interested in someone who is 24 years old!!!!!! Everyone who knows me, knows that you have to pretty much be over 30 to even get the time of day. What makes my new D.C. friend different is that he is so well read and he is a really good writer. To boot, who doesn't love a guy that reads the New Yorker? It looks like I may be spending more time than I thought in D.C. coming up....At least I know what to do with those 5 vacation days I have left.

Thanks to my fellow Cuban events chica in D.C. for showing me the best time last night after the meeting. We hit all the downtown D.C. hot spots and even chatted up some agents and CIA folks. It is so sexy dating men who carry guns. I guess that explains my fascination with Officer London.

Well I am off to take a nap and get ready for my date with the guy who works at Moe's, my favorite place to get a drink in Fort Greene. I'll post later with details.

Job Hunt - Take #3

2004-07-07T23:15:00.000-04:00

Well things are sounding okay with the job at the bank as a corporate event planner. I hit a snag in the road when the feedback from the headhunter was positive, but the interviewer said I didn't sound like I really wanted to work at "Company X". Who the hell is in the job market with one company in mind they want to work for??? If you do that, you are certain to set yourself up for disappointment. Well this headhunter and the woman I interviewed with had no idea I know some VPs on a social level there. They will now after 2 friends made some phone calls to the boss of the woman I met with to plug me. Don't you love friends who do you favors unprompted? To top it off, I also wrote a sappy kiss ass letter about how much I want to work there so I hope it works out. Now that there was an obstacle, I want the job more than ever. The fact that the events budget sounds unlimited didn't hurt matters either. Can you say McAllen 25 year old scotch and vintage champagne at networking cocktails on a private rented boat? My events portfolio would be sick after this job.

So Officer London and I went on a date Monday and I my phone started to vibrate while we were enjoying mojitos at Sushi Samba. The following conversation ensued:

Officer London: Who is sending you a text message?
Me: No one you know.
Officer London: Well excuse me. I guess that means you don't want to tell me.
Me: Well don't take it personal, but if I dropped a name, you wouldn't know it.
Officer London: Are you dating other people?
Me: Of course. We never established an exclusive relationship. You aren't seeing other women?
Officer London: No.
Me: Why?
Officer London: Well once I met you, I found what I was looking for.
Me: That's sweet of you to say, but I have made the mistake of assuming I was the only one and found myself a little too emotionally involved with a man who was not emtionally attached to me. Now, I just play the field until someone initiates the "Boyfriend" conversation.
Officer London: So how many guys are you seeing?
Me: (thinking to myself if the new Morris Chestnut guy counts) Well, not many, I really am queen of the first date.

You can't win with men. Either you are trying to make them settle down or you are not settled down enough with them. How dare anyone assume I am not dating. Hello mofo, I met you online!!! You think you are the only guy who winked at me on match??? I like Officer London, but his tardiness to pick me up only makes him lose points to becoming my man. I hope he is reading - 6:00 p.m. means 6 not 6:22. I do not like to wait on anyone. I have left my best friend for being late. Maybe he needs me to buy him a new watch?

No posts for a few days. I am heading back to Chocolate City. I do have all new dates with new men planned for the weekend (my new thing in a new city is to find men in that city to hang out with before I go!) so I will keep you posted next week - or sooner if IT comes through with my loaner laptop. Never do business work with your own equipment. If you break it, they paid for it!

BBQ's and Bullshit

2004-07-05T16:27:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Josh for hosting a usual banging BBQ with good food, good people and ALCOHOL!!! I met a potential new dating prospect, a Morris Chestnut look a like who is a Michigan B-School student and working at the company I have been trying to get a foot in the door at - American Express. My boy Matt recently had an interview there as well which I hope works out for him. Sabby and I had a great time flirting and mingling - I am very glad I did not bring Officer London with me. Then we moved the party to Moe's and I finally gave my number to the cute bouncer who always gives me free drinks when I go there. Good move for me - bad move as now I have to figure out where to meet the blind internet dates I set-up.

Well every now and then I check out my ex-boyfriend's website (he is a big mixtape DJ) and wonder why I ever let another ex ruin that potential for me. The DJ was a cute sweet white boy, but the one who had my heart came back around and I cut the DJ loose like a bad habit. So, it kind of sucks to read on his website his trips to Japan, Hawaii and Iraq performing shows because I know if things has worked out with him, I would have been right there with him. The other ex still doesn't know that I cost the DJ over $1000 on a cancelled ticket to Japan for a trip we were going to take together for a show. I guess the moral for me sharing this is, never leave a good thing for someone who already had a chance with you. Men love to show interest once they see someone else wants/has you. My advice - play along, but never give up one person for another when you can always just date both of them.

I have to remind myself of this now that I hung out with the ex a few times and he may or may not be looking at me as more than just a friend again. Now that I am finally getting out there on the scene (it took me almost a year to feel ready to meet new people) and dating lots of great guys now, I would be a fool not to pursue those options for a man who had my heart and tossed it in the trash without any concern for me. I am not bitter - just realistic.

Enjoy the rest of the day off (it was a day off for me anyway)!

The One

2004-07-03T12:52:00.000-04:00

How true is this post? For those of you that have ever been madly in love, why is it that as much as you want to be one with them, you also want them to die a gruesome death? The only two men I have ever loved, I felt that way about. I guess that line between hate and love really is thin.

Officer London has landed

2004-07-03T09:59:00.000-04:00

Well, my new cop friend finally found his way back to American soil. I haven't seen him yet but as long as he has my Cadbury fruit and nut bar, I will be excited to meet up.

I enjoyed my two favorite activities on a long hot afternoon (besides cuddling in a room with A/C) - shopping and BBQing. I know that I am getting old when I fall asleep after two beers. My friend, his cousin and I tried to sit down and watch the subway series at around 9 p.m., next thing you know their Yellow Lab Sandy is licking my face to wake me up and its 11:30 p.m.! I wasn't even drunk.

Anyway, I must cut the beer out of my diet because I am starting the get one of those pouches that women get after they have had kids which is disgusting. Who can be motivated to hit the gym when its so hot out???

Enjoy your fourth of July if I don't post anymore this long weekend.

Job Hunt - Take #2

2004-07-01T22:41:00.000-04:00

Well the ad agency job did not pan out. Apparently I am a square peg trying to get into a round hole (i.e., I come from a loser boring industry, legal, and could never bring anything positive to their creative role). Fuck them! So I did what I do best - rolled into an interview at one of the biggest baddest firms on "the street" - that's Wall Street for you non-corporate types - and wowed the hell out of them. I am in the running for a job as a corporate event planner where I would be on a team of 10 and run my own job for a change. The woman who would be my superior and interviewed me today happens to be best friends with an attorney at my firm who I just did some work for last week - go figure! It seems like a cool, odd coincidence. Luckily my interview was in the afternoon.

Thanks Steve for getting me fucked up with a pitcher of margaritas from Mary Ann's the night before the big interview. I was glad to see him one-on-one, talk to him and catch up with the friendship we have sustained for all these years.

Tonight I hooked up with another friend Sabby who I have not seen in over a year. She is still cute as ever and exotic as ever and is finally selling her art. GO SABBY!!! It's the best feeling in the world to fall in love with friends all over again.

Last bit of info for the night - my new cop friend missed his flight home from London :o( So he won't be returning until tomorrow. I missed his call to tell him he was taking me to see Dave Chappelle at Westbury on Saturday.

Happy Birthday Steve

2004-06-28T23:54:00.000-04:00

Well its almost midnight so I want to wish Steve a Happy Birthday. Sorry I could not hang out longer. When you hate your job, it sucks going in early and hung over. We just had a lovely dinner at Cubana Café which was decent although not 100% authentic. The flan hit the spot so I will definitely be back.

I am excited to see two of my girlfriends this week since they all have boyfriends and never have time for me. My first college roomie and BFF who I lost contact with last year finally resurfaced and we plan to see each other this Wednesday. We both missed each other and still love each other so I can't wait to give her a hug.

I also have plans to see my other BFF, my female med student friend since she finally has a full week off of school. I am thinking of taking her someplace fun like Layla or Casa La Femme. For some reason we always seem to end up at Republic. I guess that's what happens when as a broke student you get used to take out, cheap Thai tastes great!

Reality Slut Orgasm

2004-06-27T17:29:00.000-04:00

The Surreal Life - a complete marathon - on VH1 tonight starting at 6:00 p.m. I know what I am doing.....

Weekend Updates

2004-06-27T12:46:00.000-04:00

Friday night - too rainy to do anything! It was the first time I had real plans to go to a club. For all you non-NYers out there I know that clubbing in the big city probably seems like the best thing in the world, but when you have done it since you were 14 (I am now almost 26) it becomes really old, really fast. Well my "brother" Jermaine (you know black people like having fake relatives) was going to take me out to new hot spot Deep, but the thunderstorms gave us a good excuse to stay home instead.

Saturday - Spent the afternoon with the ex again (I know what you are thinking, but NO we are not back together). We grabbed some lunch and enjoyed the beautiful weather on the West Side waterfront. As much as I am still attracted to him, every now and then he will say or do something and I realize he could never be enough for me - "I have to go see my nephew every weekend". Since when did babies get so exciting? Am I too selfish to want to be more important than someone's family? Don't you eventually get married to someone who is supposed to come first in your life, over the family you were born into? Maybe I don't get it because I am not really a family girl, but I want 200% of my man's attention. I guess it makes sense for me to be dating Snoopy - he loves me more than his own mother.

Saturday night - Hooked up with my friend home from Cuba and another mutual friend of ours from Prep and got dinner and drinks at Chez es Saada. Then we went to get more rounds of drinks at Coffee Shop - THE NY model hot spot and rare place to get a good drink at 3 a.m.

Sunday - Had brunch plans with 1994-1999 BEST guy friend who I have recently reconnected with but not sure if he is still planning on hanging out with me since I called him at 1:30 a.m. to remind him of our plans. Boy do I miss the food at Amy Ruth's, I would go with Hitler if asked. This is why I need to hit the gym more - my whole weekend revolved around putting shit in my mouth and I haven't even had sex in forever to be preggers. I guess its true that women replace sex with food! Must go to the gym tomorrow! Oh wait, I have a lunchtime interview. Ok, will definitely work out twice on Tuesday. Gotta get ready for Spain.

Instant Romance?

2004-06-25T21:50:00.000-04:00

I feel just like this guy on a night like tonight. It's raining here in NY, so its the perfect night to stay in with a loved/liked one, watch movies, rub a dogs belly and cuddle. Charlotte said it best on Sex and the City, "I have been dating since I was 15 years old. Where is he already!" As much as I hated that bitch, she hit the nail on the head.