Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that good shit

So my boyfriend is off in Bahrain entertaining the troops and I am stuck here in NJ watching his house, his BMW (which I wish I could drive), and his dog. This is when I wonder if I would make a good wife. I am so selfish that all I could think about today was that if we had not made it official, we could still be dating and I could be enjoying Christmas with some other guy today. That's the way I miss people - I temporarily replace them. He tells me he may stay through the New Year to do another show. I told him I was happy for him - why ask him to turn down nice money to spend the New Year with me. But secretly I was wondering who I should call to spend the New Year with. I'll be damned if I am going to spend it alone sitting in his apartment. Since all my girlfriends have boyfriends, its not like I can ask to be third wheel to their plans.

So on Christmas as I enjoy the new Sidekick my boyfriend got me, all I can think about is did I do this exclusive shit too soon. I don't know if I am ready for this level of commitment.

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