Sunday, December 12, 2004

Bad Blogger

I know I have been a bad blogger lately. A failed hard drive will usually do it. I also have been trying to look busy at work by actually being busy (I am not a good liar).

The reading on Monday was a blast. I went first again and despite my almost non-existent voice, I did well. I wrote a piece about my relationship with Jay - my best male friend who I kind of date but don't have sex with. Jay and my ex were in the audience. Not only did the ex finally realize that I really didn't have anything going with Jay but he also for the first time heard details of some of our antics as well as heard first hand. that I did fuck another good friend of my while on vacation in Cuba. Oops. I kind of subconsciously wanted it to go down like that. At the end of the night, he didn't really want to hang out. He told he purchased a new car - an old school Range Rover (my favorite). I commented "Wow, you brought my car. Now I have one more reason to hate you. I was half joking and half serious. He parted ways with Jay and I and I have not heard from him since. I sent him an e-mail thanking him for coming out and he did not respond. I really think I hurt him with the way things went on Monday. The best part was that it felt good. He put me through highs and lows no human should have to experience with the same person. I was happy to send him to a similar low so he could have a taste of what he did to me.

Jay is one of the few people who really saw what I went through with the ex. The tears, the pain, the turmoil. I was glad he could be there to see the finale between us. We are officially over. No friendship, no cuddling, no e-mails, no talks, nothing. It took me over two years but I was finally able to get over him. Moving on with the guy who I dumped for him in the past helped somewhat. The DJ has proven to me that I can and will do better and he has no idea how happy that makes me feel.

So, I guess I should also tell everyone I officially have a boyfriend. This is a guy I see a future with. The whole nine yards - ring, kids, white picket fence, etc. I hate to say it, it really pains me to say it because I was enjoying my reality of men not living up to my standard - but he makes me happy. So, I am happy now. I'm still going to be Buttercup, but probably less bitchy.

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