Monday, December 27, 2004

New Year's Part Deux

The boyfriend is coming home for New Year's!!! And no, it's not because of me. They cancelled doing a show on New Year's eve for lack of promotion so he will be here tomorrow. Luckily, I spent all day yesterday cleaning his apartment so it could be ready for when he gets back. DJ's are not exactly neat. Imagine matching thousands of CDs with their rightful cases and you have a small idea of what I went through yesterday. I am just glad its over.

So now, what to do on New Year's Eve. I will give you an idea of where I will end up, if any of you New Yorker's know of the Last Poet's New Year's bash, there is a good chance you will see me there. If you have no idea what I am talking about - good! I don't have to worry about running into folks I don't know.

Happy Monday. It was for me since I just woke up and I am still getting paid for working today!!!

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Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all that good shit

So my boyfriend is off in Bahrain entertaining the troops and I am stuck here in NJ watching his house, his BMW (which I wish I could drive), and his dog. This is when I wonder if I would make a good wife. I am so selfish that all I could think about today was that if we had not made it official, we could still be dating and I could be enjoying Christmas with some other guy today. That's the way I miss people - I temporarily replace them. He tells me he may stay through the New Year to do another show. I told him I was happy for him - why ask him to turn down nice money to spend the New Year with me. But secretly I was wondering who I should call to spend the New Year with. I'll be damned if I am going to spend it alone sitting in his apartment. Since all my girlfriends have boyfriends, its not like I can ask to be third wheel to their plans.

So on Christmas as I enjoy the new Sidekick my boyfriend got me, all I can think about is did I do this exclusive shit too soon. I don't know if I am ready for this level of commitment.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Post for Baby Girl

Three names you go by:
1. Buttercup
2. JB (juicy booty)
3. toughie woofie (by my boyfriend when he thinks I am trying to be tough)

Three screennames you have:
1. Buttercupsnoopy
2. The others are all my gov't - sorry!

Three things you like about yourself:
1. My eyes
2. My lips
3. My sarcastic sense of humor

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. My butt - I have an ass like Ki-Toy (according to the boyfriend) I would prefer one like Naomi's instead.
2. My propensity for anger
3. My flakiness

Three parts of your heritage:
1. African-American
2. Cuban
3. Panamanian

Three things that scare you:
1. Being broke
2. Being unhappy
3. Not finding my soul mate

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. iPod
2. Sidekick II
3. Vaseline Intensive Care (cherry flavor)

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Ivory off the shoulder cashmere sweater
2. Green J. Crew cords
3. Lace tanga underpants

Three of your favorite bands/artists (at the moment):
1. Alicia Keys
2. Jay-Z
3. Nina Simone

Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. Only You - Ashanti
2. Number One Spot - Ludacris
3. Karma - Alicia Keys

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Start a business
2. A job not in the legal field
3. Learn to drive

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Compassion
2. Nurturing
3. Humor

Two truths and a lie:
1. I danced with Jay-Z at Club Rebar in 1998
2. I stabbed an ex-boyfriend
3. I think some stereotypes are true.

Three physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
1. Breasts - I am 97% straight, but I love women's breasts. Maybe because mine are not as big as I would like.
2. Legs - Large and cut like a runner's
3. Penis - Long and fat (the only way they should be made)

Three things you just can't do:
1. Sing
2. Be fake
3. Pass a dog without a hello

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Shopping
2. Traveling
3. Reading

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
1. Go see the boyfriend before he leaves for Bahrain
2. Wrap my presents
3. See my mother and wish her happy birthday

Three careers you're considering:
1. Entrepreneur
2. Managing my boyfriend
3. Hustling (not drugs)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Bora Bora
2. Mykanos
3. Australia

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Get married (January here I come!)
2. Jump from a plane
3. Pilot a helicopter

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die painfully:
1. Lex
2. Reef
3. NY Prepster

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Weird Wednesday

Today has been a weird day.
  • It's my mother's birthday. We don't speak much but I feel bad I won't see her today because I have been staying with the DJ all week.
  • I was told my last day at work can be today and I will get paid through the end of the month. I was also offered an additional month of pay should I sign a waiver of claims against the firm....sounds like an admission of guilt if I do say so myself
  • I had a dream that the DJ had two sons, fraternal twins born on the same day. I was there supporting him, but I wasn't the one giving birth to the children.
  • The DJ had a dream that he and I went snowboarding together. He said I was okay, but didn't hold a candle to his snowboarding skills.

What am I to make of all of this? I am not sure. I just know that I feel like I am starting a new path with everything. I have been taking risks with the DJ allowing myself to be loved and learning to love him in return which I have not done since the ex. I am leaving yet another job, no real prospects in sight for work and I am not remotely worried about it. In the new year, I will deal with the ramifications of this. For now, I can't wait to see the DJ tonight and spend a few hours with him before he leaves for Bahrain for a show.


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Friday, December 17, 2004

Vacation Week

I have been on vacation most of the week. I didn't get further than NY (where DJ lives) but I still had a fun week none the less. My favorite thing about having a boyfriend - domestic activities. How much fun is grocery shopping and home shopping. Since DJ has been living in his almost barren condo for almost a year, we decided to get some things to spruce up the place. Purchases included a fab Calphalon non-stick pan set which I have already cooked for us and the dog in. I also finished up all my Christmas shopping - on the internet of course. Its great to have a guy who lives in NJ. Now I just pay for shipping to his place instead of tax!

I gave my notice today at work. It was such a relief. My bosses boss had the nerve to leave me a voice-mail which stated "I received your e-mail and we accept your resignation." Accept it???!!!??? Since when do they have a choice? Now the only thing I am worried about (besides cutting back on shopping) is the fact that they might not let me work out my two weeks notice. For some reason, they want me to hand over all my projects today by close of business. I am kind of sorry I didn't wait until the end of the day to send out my notice.

So honesty is not always the best policy. I told DJ about sleeping with my ex the day before he left for L.A. We were not official boyfriend/girlfriend at that time and ex sex is not something you can control all the time. He was pissed because he realized that this is the same ex that I dumped him for almost 2 years ago. Now its gotten to the point where he has the ex's address and wants to pay him a visit if he interferes with our relationship again. Who knew the DJ was gully!!??!! Secretly it was sweet that he would go to these lengths to make sure the ex didn't fuck up our thing again.

Tonight the DJ and I are going to see Paul Mooney. If you hear a news report about a white, Jewish hip hop DJ assaulting a well known comedian, that's us. I am hoping I can restrain him. Let's hope Paul Mooney goes easy on our interracial thing.

Have a good weekend!

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Sunday, December 12, 2004

Bad Blogger

I know I have been a bad blogger lately. A failed hard drive will usually do it. I also have been trying to look busy at work by actually being busy (I am not a good liar).

The reading on Monday was a blast. I went first again and despite my almost non-existent voice, I did well. I wrote a piece about my relationship with Jay - my best male friend who I kind of date but don't have sex with. Jay and my ex were in the audience. Not only did the ex finally realize that I really didn't have anything going with Jay but he also for the first time heard details of some of our antics as well as heard first hand. that I did fuck another good friend of my while on vacation in Cuba. Oops. I kind of subconsciously wanted it to go down like that. At the end of the night, he didn't really want to hang out. He told he purchased a new car - an old school Range Rover (my favorite). I commented "Wow, you brought my car. Now I have one more reason to hate you. I was half joking and half serious. He parted ways with Jay and I and I have not heard from him since. I sent him an e-mail thanking him for coming out and he did not respond. I really think I hurt him with the way things went on Monday. The best part was that it felt good. He put me through highs and lows no human should have to experience with the same person. I was happy to send him to a similar low so he could have a taste of what he did to me.

Jay is one of the few people who really saw what I went through with the ex. The tears, the pain, the turmoil. I was glad he could be there to see the finale between us. We are officially over. No friendship, no cuddling, no e-mails, no talks, nothing. It took me over two years but I was finally able to get over him. Moving on with the guy who I dumped for him in the past helped somewhat. The DJ has proven to me that I can and will do better and he has no idea how happy that makes me feel.

So, I guess I should also tell everyone I officially have a boyfriend. This is a guy I see a future with. The whole nine yards - ring, kids, white picket fence, etc. I hate to say it, it really pains me to say it because I was enjoying my reality of men not living up to my standard - but he makes me happy. So, I am happy now. I'm still going to be Buttercup, but probably less bitchy.

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Monday, December 06, 2004

Updates for French Kitty

I can't type too much because I am feeling like shit and I have loads of work to do today, but I wanted to dish on my weekend.

First to answer one question, yes Prada Manager has one son and although he looks young, he is 30 so he just meets the age requirement.

Friday night DJ picked me up from work. I tried to cancel informing him that I was feeling rather sick, but he insisted on taking me back to his place, going grocery shopping and cooking lobster, stuffing and salad for dinner. Buttercup never turns down a man cooked meal. The food was delicious - I love lobster! Afterwards, DJ admitted to messing up the first two batches of stuffing. Unfortunately, despite the energy from a good meal, my health deteriorated over the weekend and I had hot flashes and night sweats as well as the chills, a fever, sore throat and nausea for the remainder of the weekend. On Sunday, I decided to go see a doctor and got some antibiotics which have been working wonders since.

7 more days of work at this shit firm for me. The whole two weeks notice time period doesn't count. Who does real work once they have decided they are leaving?

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Friday, December 03, 2004

Last night I had dinner at Coffee Shop with some of the writer's who will be performing this Monday at Inner monologues 2. If you are in NY and interested in coming, feel free to send me an e-mail at bitchinbuttercup@yahoo.com and I will send you the details. On my way walking into the restaurant, I spotted a guy at the bar who I had dealt with over 5 years ago and proceeded to turn my head so that he would not see me. That's one of the problems of still living in the city I was born in, I am always bobbing and weaving to avoid some guy I dated. Like the classic line from SATC, I just want all the men I have already tested to be deported. Towards the end of the practice dinner, Prada Manager came to pick me up and we headed further downtown to have some drinks and chat. As much as I like so much about him and he reminded me of the fun we used to have when we first dated three years ago, now that I am older and therefore pickier, I just don't know if I can think about a guy with kids seriously. Couple that with the fact that he is under 30, his prospects are not looking good.

DJ has given me a cold. Never kiss a boy who is sick. All he will do is give you germs. To make up for my illness, DJ is cooking dinner for me tonight. He claims he can cook lobster, stuffing and salad, so that's what we are having. I'll let you know how it is. Prada Manager still owes me a home cooked meal as well. If I am still sick all weekend, I will definitely let him make up for it on Sunday. Saturday night is my co-worker's (Jessica Simpson twin) party at her apartment for her husband's 30 birthday. I invited lawyer to go with me since I think he will fit in with that group the best. It's hard to meet a guy who can fit in with your co-workers, your friends, your family and can change and adapt to any atmosphere (corporate, social, ghetto).

IT Manager left my laptop at his office and decided to take the day off. Therefore, I won't be getting my machine fixed until Monday. So I probably won't be blogging over the weekend. Enjoy!

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Thursday, December 02, 2004

I'm getting married!

Relax, not to a guy I'm dating. My best buddy and travel partner in crime Jay and I are going to get married in Vegas for three days for his 30th birthday in January. I know it sounds crazy and tacky and Britney like, but he convinced me that it would be the perfect way to top all the other fun, crazy things we have done together over our 15 years of friendship. How funny would it be to introduce my best guy friend as my ex-husband who I have never slept with!

In other news, my boss told me he was no longer going to give me this new position and attempted to give examples of untrue situations as to why. One situation in particular was in reference to one person overhearing a conversation I was having with a vendor and reporting to HR that I my tone was bad to the vendor. Of course when I offered to call said vendor on her personal mobile phone and get them to ask her about working with me - they refused. After the meeting, I called the vendor and told her the story and she laughed and offered to send a letter on my behalf. I'll show them whose lying.

So DJ got to meet another friend yesterday when he picked me up after work with flowers since I told him what a crappy day I had at work. Med School Shar modeled her residency interview suits for us while we all laughed at Curb on demand HBO. It's rare that friends get to meet guys I date because I change dates like shoes. So far my friends seem to like him - not that I am easily influenced by my friends. Now I have to introduce him to some male friends to see how well he gets along with them.

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Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Hard Drive Failure

My laptop started making funny noises when I got back from San Fran. It sounded very ill so of course I took it to IT Manager. Well it seems I am having hard drive failure and I don't back-up! IT Manager is currently working on replacing my hard drive and somehow saving my precious files. Everyone take a moment of silence for my ill laptop.........okay. I may not be posting as much as a result, since I like to post from home because I want to savor my last ten days at work with my co-workers and I have spent the last few weeks hanging out in their offices, reading magazines and refusing all work that has been given to me. Why start new projects when I am quitting soon? They can't fire me for saying no? Law firms are hard to get fired from - the one good benefit.

So last Tuesday, Prada Manager invited me over to his house for my cooked dinner and a sleep over. I didn't accept because I had my flight the next day and it was going to rain. Well tomorrow, after my writing group, we have a rain check to make up for the missed date. He even mentioned that he picked something up for me for the holidays. I am very curious to see what that is. Tonight I have plans with the DJ after he films a T.V. segment. I am not sure what we are doing, but I hope it involves discussing this new business idea he has. That is the main reason I really like the DJ. I have never met a man who is full of creative energy with an entrepreneurial streak. I am not sure if I mentioned that DJ has three businesses and is working on a fourth. Jews know how to get paid! Everyone else can learn a thing or two. DJ is one man who could motivate me to do what makes me happy in life - and get rich doing it. I watched him start out with nothing over a year ago to get where he is now in his career and I respect him for that.

Now, let's move on to new boys. I have been exchanging e-mails with this crazy, tattooed white boy who works as a toy designer. How cool! We both live in Brooklyn and both love dogs. I am already in love. He also seems a bit crazy based on his photos, his e-mails and his profile, which for me is a definite plus. I am not sure why I like guys who could use psychotropic meds, but something about it is sexy.

I have another meeting with my boss in one hour to discuss this new position he has been wanting me to take. Instead of being a smart ass and responding to him with "Why are we meeting? I want more money and you don't want to give it to me. Case closed!", I have decided to be mature and screw him further by telling him I want the job, taking it, having him reject other candidates and then quitting on Dec. 17th. That is a Buttercup move.

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