Monday, November 22, 2004

Hip Hop Video comments

Is that "Bird" from the Soul Food movies, also known as Malinda Williams, Mekhi Phifer's ex, in the new Young Buck video looking like the ultimate chicken head trying to be the characters from Natural Born Killers? Why can't actresses stick to acting?

Has anyone listened to the lyrics for Destiny's Child Soldier? Who knew those prissy bitches knew anything about a man who carries weight and flips dough? Are they trying to be street like Mariah with the ghetto dudes in the black and white video?

Who told Alicia Keys and Llyod Banks to name their new singles "Karma"? I keep wanting to see the Alicia Keys version, not the Llyod Banks one.

Who else wants to put Chingy in a large game machine and ping him into oblivion?

Does Ashanti think that if she flashes the ass cheeks like Beyonce did in her first single, she will move as many units? The song, "Only You", is hot all by itself - no need for the ass shots.


Monday night - No football

So I have a ticket flying into SFO on Wednesday night. It's official - I'm meeting the DJ's parents. This shit doesn't even sound right as I type it. I will be back on Sunday and will blog all about my weekend. I hope I have fun. I hope I get to go shopping. The DJ was even nice enough to also extend a Turkey Day invite to my friend Jen who is out there all alone stressing over her lab results. Don't ask what the fuck she is studying. It's far more advanced than my feeble brain - some engineering shit.

I AM SO HAPPY THEY KICKED RACHEL OFF REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE - Take that you wanna be gay bitch. I hate a bitch that says she is gay and wears lesbians rule t-shirts but has flings with guys. Bitch, go suck a clit.

Is it rude to listen to iPod the entire flight when you are traveling with someone. I mean Jay and I have an understanding when we fly and the other guys I have flown with have been short flights. DJ is so fucking sensitive he might not like it. What do we talk about for 6 hours???

Interview tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I think HR is on to me. If a self-assessment for your review is optional, why did I get three personal e-mail reminders and a personal extention on the deadline? Fucking HR. Can't they just cut my bonus check early so I can quit already?


As Turkey Day approaches

The DJ has asked me to come to San Francisco and spend Thanksgiving with his folks. Of course my first question was, what do they cook for Thanksgiving. I have never been to a white person's house for Turkey Day. I need to know if they know how to make baked mac and cheese and stuffing. He couldn't answer that question - not a good look. Then I asked him the tough question - isn't this too soon for two people are not boyfriend/girlfriend? His retort was that he had met my family. This is true but the only reason he met them is because his clinginess caused him to barge his way into my house and my life. We have been hanging out for about a week??!!!?? Meet the parents? I don't know. The only thing I do know is that Jennifer lives in SF and it would be nice to go visit her. I'll let you know what I decide.

In other world news, my writing group met on Saturday afternoon to go over the pieces we intend to read next month. One guy looked at me like I was crazy when trying to explain my relationship with my best male friend, Jay. Is it that weird that we have had sex in the same bed, but not together? Any women out there have unusual relationships with a best guy friend or any guys out there have a girl as a friend who can do ANYTHING with but you have never crossed that line? I'm curious.

Okay, I have to start looking busy at work. First business of the day, completing evaluations for some co-workers.


Friday, November 19, 2004

Me, Matt and Al

Well the best thing that happened to me on Tuesday was my celebrity sighting. I was bitching about NY film crews on the way up 5th Avenue to check out the crap that they are referring to as the Karl Lagerfeld line at H&M and on the way back the crowd was even larger. As my friend and I made our way back to work, we were greeted with even larger crowds. As I pushed through crossing the street cursing every movie studio, I realized I was two feet away from two dream men - Matthew McConaughey and Al Pacino. Of course, unable to contain myself I screamed "Oh shit, Al Pacino!" The director promptly yelled cut and the actors were forced to do the scene over as a result of my big mouth. Oh well.

I called out "sick" to work on Wednesday to enjoy the nice weather and interview. I am starting to feel like something I really want might come through for me and I am looking forward to my last day at my current firm (a few thousand bonus dollars richer no less).

The DJ has been calling from L.A. He has been spending too much time with some porn star called Mr. Marcus. Now he has decided to focus more on starting a porn business and less on his DJ business. Whatever works. Not sure how I would feel about dating someone in that industry even if they were not the "star".

Macy's is the worst store in the universe. I tried to help my friend shop there and the customer service and the appearance of the store is atrocious. I see why I stick to uptown stores like Bergdorf and Saks.

Happy Friday. I know I'm having one. I must finish my first draft in time for our first writer's draft session this Saturday. I really think this event (December 6th) is going to be better than last month. If you want information, simply shoot me an e-mail at Does anyone think that Condi has ever given Bush a blowjob? Just something I can't stop thinking about. The picture is s vivid in my head. If I turn up dead - you know why.


Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Hump Day Wednesday Preview

I guess I should backtrack to the weekend. Friday's weather was gross so I stayed in bed - with who is none of your business. Let's move on to Saturday. I started out at my friend's book reading which was lovely for him and I since he sold tons of books. The the DJ and I made plans to hang out since he was leaving the next day for L.A. As a side note I have realized its not a good idea for me, control freak, to go to a city where you need to drive with no car, no license with a clingy guy who expects me to be around him every waking moment. There are very few men who can tolerate me for longer than 2 days.

The DJ and I went to our old favorite hole in the wall Jamaican restaurant in Flatbush and he again tried to backtrack and reconstruct where our relationship went wrong. I still don't have the heart to tell him I left him for the ex. Not that the DJ wasn't driving me up a wall with his neediness. Since the night was still young and I was pissed at him for being late AGAIN, we also went to a movie (my pick) and I promise any of you who go and see Ray will love it. I hate Jamie Foxx. I don't understand how someone so ugly created such a career for himself, but the movie is wonderful and his wife in the movie, Kerry Washington, is gorgeous and talented. By the time the movie was over and we had mourned ODB's death, the DJ took me home. No less than 10 minutes later, the ex calls to talk to me about ODB's passing (at this point, it's 2:30 a.m.). He convinced me to come over in a cab and watch his recent Netflix order. FYI - Ben Affleck really is a horrible actor. Proof? Paychecks with Uma Thurman. The morning was just like every other morning waking up next to the ex - us cuddling and him telling me how much he misses me. I am sick of him playing with what's left of my heart and brain. I just reminded him that he dumped me over a year ago and to stop lying about missing me. Why does he always come around when the DJ is coming on so strong with all his "boyfriend" moves? The minute someone else wants you, they all come around the bend.

Sunday was football day with another guy I am seeing. No nickname and no further discussion because I kind of like him and nothing is really worth speaking about. He is cute, normal and we have a great time together. I'll fill you in if it goes anywhere.

Monday I went out with Prada manager (now referred to as Prada). I am not sure why he showed up with his 25 year old brother or why he thought it was a good idea to take me to ESPN Zone. Despite these huge no-no's, I think I might actually go out with him again. I think he was testing me so I won't give the satisfaction of my failing. I am also trying to butter him up for that Prada discount and the dinner he promised to cook for me. So I'll give him a chance to come through with that before kicking him to the curb. Being fine and always in a suit when I see him helps.

Tomorrow and Thursday I have further interviews. I have 20 more days at my current job. I can't wait. The only other person in my department that reports to my boss also intends to quit on bonus day. I can't wait to see his face. I told her we should walk in and quit together. People at work need to learn to stop fucking with me. I have nothing to lose - not even a job.


Thursday, November 11, 2004

Buttercup is BACK Bitches

"It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you without a strong rhyme to step to." - Eric B for President

I am finally back in the blogging business. I am sure no has really noticed but I have been busy - one job, 3 former flames, several interviews and dates, new iPod and constant new job hunting has left me very busy. I just wrapped one of the biggest projects of the year where I managed and hosted an event for a big NYSE exec so now I am back to my regular days of bullshit, shopping, dating and blogging.

This Monday was the live reading event at Apolocolypse Lounge which Lex hosted. It went so well. We had a packed house and tons of great readers. I am so happy I took part in it. I can't wait until December for round two. I am going to write about my one male friend who I have never slept with. We have gone to sleep together in the same bed but never one top of one another. I already called and told him to make sure he was in attendance. It will read Ode to J* or something like that. All names will be changed to protect the many innocent young ladies he HAS bed, sometimes with me on the other side of the bed.

I finally got my iPod in the mail, used it for two days, it broke and I just received the new one from Amazon again. I LOVE not hearing people in the street. Of course now that I can't hear anything it seems more people try to say stuff to me on the train and in the street. Yesterday, on my way into the city for a date, this tough looking guy and his girl start pounding on the seat and flailing their arms in front of me trying to get my attention. Too bad for them, I also keep a Gameboy or magazine handy for visual distraction. After getting no less than half the car to distract me, I am finally forced to remove my headphones while simultaneously rolling my eyes. His question, "What kind of purse is that?". "Chloe." I can't believe it was that serious to disrupt DMX and Sisquo's "What these Bitches Want". I then spent the rest of the train ride in fear that I would be robbed of my overpriced purse and new iPod. I changed cars at the next stop. Buttercup left her knife at home. I may look sweet and cute but I have stabbed a bitch and will stab you if you fuck with my iPod or handbag. I went to a magnet school in Bushwick for grades 5-8. I had to learn to protect my material goods early on. Schuylerites rule!

A while back I wrote a post begging for a few former flames I missed to come back. This month, 3 of them have surfaced. The DJ is the funniest case by far. Now that his career is taking off he seems hell bent on trying to get me to be impressed by the rapper name drops and frequent flier miles clocked. The real reason I am physched we are hanging out again - his new Westie dog Boba who I instantly fell in love with. Too bad I can't say the same about the DJ.

Things are looking good on the job front. I have no projects in the can and I think my boss is leaving me alone because he knows I am quitting. I have several second interviews lined up and some good prospects. Worst case scenario is I will spend the winter sleeping late and running errands with the DJ like the old days. Hanging out in the studio is kind of fun - Free food and free weed.

More to come. I just want you all to know I'm back!


Wednesday, November 03, 2004

No Major Updates

Bush won.
I met some co-workers of the Lawyer who aired some dirty laundry about him. Too bad I won't tell him who I met.
My boss and his boss were supposed to have lunch with me today at my event. It was suddenly cancelled at 11:45 a.m.
I had a good follow-up meeting at my event, impromptu, from a Director of a firm I met with on Monday.
I am considering working at Starbucks to tell my boss to shove his head in his ass. It can't be so hard to make latte.

Hope you are having a better Hump Day. Still no humping for Buttercup. I never got the nerve to call the Sheriff and the ex has not answered all the times I have called (I don't like to leave him messages).

Listed on Blogwise Technorati Profile