Saturday, October 30, 2004

Old Flames

Tonight while walking to 59th Street from Saks, I passed by Prada and was spotted by a former flame. Our initial meeting was rather interesting. A few years ago, IT Manager and I were at a bar/lounge enjoying a party. Since IT Manager was never man enough to commit, I wandered off and ended up being smitten by another man at the party (herein referred to as KT). KT and I spent the entire evening chatting so comfortably that I forgot all about IT Manager until he came looking for me when we were ready to go home. Even while making love to IT Manager later that night (I love him, just not in love with him so it was more than fucking) I spent the night thinking about KT. We hung out a few times that summer but when he went to Japan to sing, I got back with the ex again and thus we lost touch. So I was pleasantly surprised when he stopped me in the street and said to me "You are the only one I have been thinking about." Either he is full of shit or I left an impression. I already know the answer, all men are full of shit. Despite this fact, I took his card after he swore leaving me several messages that I never returned (maybe I got one or two, I was too stupid being faithful) and promised to call. He asked me to make sure I go to his Halloween party but I told him some bullshit about not having a costume. He said the best thing to me, "Wear a mask and that hot orange dress I met you in." I LOVE that Kookai orange dress. No man has forgotten it. Thanks to IT Manager who brought it for me while we spent a lovely summer day in Montreal. I am glad he is not the only one that got to enjoy it that night.

P.S. As I type this while I watch MTV2, it must suck to be a female rapper and have video hos in your music video who are cuter than you. Yeah, I am talking about you Shawna and Jackie O.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

No Hump Day Wednesday

I went to my girlfriend's house and she directed to me to rummage through her closet for her genie costume. Little did I know it could also pass for a stripper outfit. I left it right there in her closet and passed the ugliest turtleneck sweater. When asking her why she did not throw it out, her response was "You brought it for me." I had to remind her there is a big difference between buying a gift for someone, putting it in a box and presenting it and paying for something in a store when she says she wants it. I felt kind of bad because I don't think I have ever given her a present, when I want to buy her something, we go to the store and I pay. I did find a perfect Halloween costume without looking like a slut - I took a pair of her scrubs and mask and I am going to be a doctor!

The lawyer and I got into a little tiff over the phone because he keeps telling his friends how great I am with the exception that I am a "serial dater". WTF??!!?? Why are men allowed to galavant with every Jane, Mary and Sue and I can't see a few new men a week. He said it makes me seem slutty - he emphasized that black men probably feel like that more so than white guys. Then he followed up with some shit like, black men aren't into that Sex and the City dating because all those chicks were sluts. Of course I asked, even Charlotte? He didn't know the difference. I didn't want him to know I was pressed, but damn I wish I was getting ass a few times a week like those bitches. I usually get a drink or a meal, no more no less. I was definitely less bitchy when I had a man. Not cause he made me happy (well maybe) but more so because love and sex make you relaxed. So I am kind of bummed that the ex and I are not really speaking and thus I have no real fuck buddy. When you have sex with someone you used to love, even if you are not together, it feels so much better than when you have convenient sex with some random dude. I am afraid I might start calling up guys from the past. Now I see why every now and again some random man from my past calls me - he must be feeling like I am right now. So I am hoping The Sheriff is down for some ass cause I think that's exactly who I want to call and "rekindle" things with. My last fuck buddy the model is in California trying to become the Actor, the Writer is in DC and no one else has tickled my spot to make the effort worth it. Its going to be a cold long winter in the gym. That's the only place I am going to be sweating. Unless my football wife friend wants to pass me a piece of ass from the Chargers when I go see her next month. I must go check out their line-up.

P.S. It doesn't help that I am reminded of my lack of sex life every day now that I have started the pill. Not to mention my breasts are almost always taut and firm as if they are waiting for someone to play with them. Fucking men. Useless when you have them and missed when you don't. Typical.


Not a scary monkey after all

Well it seems to be that Monkey Man is not so scary at all, after getting these two links from readers. I am sorry if I scared anyone. Since I date online a lot and do occasionally chat with strangers, I just thought it was good to remind people that everyone on the other side of that chat window may not be on the up and up.

So, the lesson for today is don't believe urban legends but still be careful when chatting/talking to strangers. There are so crazy people on the internet - I am one of them!


Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Warning to Instant Message Users

This was forwarded to me at work from someone I take seriously. Be careful out there and don't talk to strangers.

Subject: WARNING From STATE POLICE .......USA (not ajoke)
State police
warning for online: Please read this "very carefully"...then send it out to all
the people online that you know. Something like this is nothing to take
casually; this is something you DO want to pay attention to. Think of it as a
bit of advice too.
If a person with the screen-name of Monkeyman935 contacts
you, do not reply. DO not talk to this person; do not answer any of his/her
instant Messages or e-mail. Whoever this person may be, he/she is a suspect for
murder in the deaths of 56 women (so far) contacted through the Internet.
Please send this to all the women on your buddy list and ask them to pass
this on, as well.
This screen-name was seen on Yahoo, AOL, AIM, and Excite,
so far. This is not a joke! Please send this to men too...just in case! Send to
everyone you know! Ladies, this is serious.


Monday, October 25, 2004

Moving Day

I am moving. In the process, some posts no longer appear. I'll take some time to fix everything and get it back in order over the next week. In the interim, pretend you are just meeting my blog for the first time. Please update your links accordingly.


Sunday, October 24, 2004

My weekend with food

The only thing memorable about my weekend were the meals. On Friday, I went out on date at the Cheesecake Factory. Someone mentioned they went there last week and my stomach instantly got nostalgic and made plans to go on Friday. So after cutting out of work early for a quick hair appointment, I met up with my date in NJ and headed to Palisades Mall. Since I don't wish to blog about this guy, cause he is cool and a friend in addition to a date, I will focus on the food - the cheesecake to be specific. I had the cookie and creams cheesecake which was heaven on a plate. I don't know why they serve such excellent cheesecake after filling you up on the food and drinks. I learned that trick and only stick to appetizers and dessert. I make sure I get my meal to go.

On Saturday, since it was NY Cares day, I ended up going to a school in the neighborhood and painting and cleaning. Buttercup does a little charity every now and then despite the fact that I hate children. I followed up my good deed with a writing meeting for the event I am doing next month with some bloggers and non-bloggers alike. Details will be posted some time next week. I really need to work on my story. I felt like such a slacker handing in half ass work just to meet the deadline. I got some good feedback and will definitely work further on my reading this week. Saturday night was spent shopping with Sabrina who happens to live in the neighborhood. I tried to be good and only spent $200 on a skirt and sweater.

Today was great because I finally got to see Motorcycle Diaries. It was such a gorgeous movie. The story, the lead actor, the accent (a Mexican pulling off such a great Argentinean accent was amazing). I was already obsessed with Che because of his beauty inside and out but seeing this story of his cross country travels which gave him his passion for the Latin American struggle was enough to make me cry. Please support stories like this and check it out. Now, let's get back to stuffing my face. My friend and I refueled after some awful Halloween shopping after with a huge Italian meal at Serafina. Sangria, calamari, tuna tartar, lobster pasta, seafood risotto, it was enough to make me burst. So of course I used our full bellies as an excuse to walk around and do some "window shopping". What can I say, food and clothes are important.

P.S. I need to vent about my favorite movie theater. I used to love Battery Park Regal Cinemas because they were empty (no folks talking during the movie) and you could sneak in and see as many movies as you wanted. Well now some idiot decided that a DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse) is a perfect thing to put into a movie theater, making it necessary to have little movie workers on every floor and making my sneak into I Heart Huckabees impossible. Thanks Battery Park Cinemas. I am taking my $10 elsewhere!


Friday, October 22, 2004

Dinner with Friend

Yesterday one of my best friends took the Step 2 to further her mission of ridding women across the world of STDs (otherwise known as being an OB/GYN doc). She called me at around 5:00, tired, downtrodden and hungry after the nine hour exam and said she was a few blocks from my office and she needed dinner - fast. We ended up at Houston's. Don't ask me why she chose Houston's when I offered to take her to Rosa Mexicana, Maya, or Serafina. It must be that I have not been to Houston's in almost a month, but the fish just keeps getting better. The fries too. We didn't have room for the brownie due to the excessive spinach dip. Sitting there with one friend applying to residency programs who is about to embark on the true meaning of having no life outside of work, I began to realize what little I am getting out of NY. Later on, I spoke with one of my other best friends (I have 4 close girlfriends, they are equal so none of them are best, but two are from 13 years ago and the others are from 8 years ago - you do the math) and she was listing all the cities she is applying for jobs in when she leaves Berkeley this December. All the cities were places I at one point thought I would want to live in. So I've decided to join her in the job hunt outside of NY starting today. Sorry Jen, Kalamazoo is still off the list!

Finally I have some travel plans confirmed. November is off to see the San Diego Chargers in CA with my football wife friend and December its DC to the firm's office party there and to see all of DC folks (maybe even the Writer....)


Thursday, October 21, 2004

The Apprentice Midget

I asked my instant message blogger buddy why some guy would have my blog listed as "The Blog I Love to Hate." He said some shit about me having a man-hating blog. I love men. I could not get laid or get off without them. Is it man hating when you just tell the truth about shit that happens to you? It's not my fault a lot of NY men suck.


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Fall, Big Coats and more live performances

Fall has hit and I am so happy that I get to wear coats long enough to cover my ass so people aren't getting free looks at the goods. I want to thank Reef for his timely blog (see Friday, October 15th post) which attractive women everywhere can relate to. Why don't men realize that if they are approaching you with bullshit lines at you in the street, chances are the asshole 5 minutes before already tried to same bullshit.

Anyway, I can't really blog because I am trying to pour all my energy into writing a piece for another live performance I am participating in this November. Thanks to Lex for organizing the entire thing. This time, I will have bigger things to talk about besides men. Basically I am writing a piece on why my life sucks. I won't be sharing it in the blog because to get the effect, you will have to hear the words come out of my mouth. November 8th at 8:00 p.m. is the date. Official details will follow - friends feel free to call me for the info. Oh yeah, suddenly my friends are kind of into my blog. They think I write just how I talk which is cool, cause I have been honest all along. I don't really care because I hide nothing from my friends, even when I say mean shit about them. The people I love know it and words can never change that. The other motherfuckers, fuck you.


Sunday, October 17, 2004

Ugly and Stupid People

This is a bitchy moment. If you can't take the truth, hit the "x" on the top right corner (the top left red round button for you Mac users). I try to be nice and sweet on the blog, but I gotta start dropping the truth every now and then.

  1. Have you ever stopped reading people's blogs after you saw a picture of them? I have and those bloggers have remained nameless. They are all men who talk about dating and chicks on their website like they are the bomb and have even slid me an e-mail or two. Then I saw the ohotogallery. Delete from memory.
  2. Have you ever read one of those horrific stories in the news about some baby or young child dying and then did the math to figure out how old the mother was when she had the baby and realized the bitch should not have been procreating in the first place? That's me every day when reading the NY Post or NY Daily News. The Wall Street Journal tends to skip over dead ghetto baby stories. That shit is real depressing. If motherfuckers who don't have no business with children would stop getting knocked up I wouldn't have to think about what a fucked up world we live in right now. Anyone who thinks I don't have a right to say who should have kids or not, fuck you. You probably have 2-10 kids you can't afford.
  3. Is anyone else mad at Jay-Z for getting back on R. Kelly's dick now that the whole pedophile thing has gone away? I LOVE Jay-Z, but I hope the album flops. Didn't that motherfucker say he was retiring anyway? Does retirement include more albums?
  4. Is it wrong to beat the shit out of your puppy for fucking up a pair of Marc Jacobs polka dot pumps that are not even available on eBay? Hopefully the shoe gurus at Shoe Service Plus can fix them.
  5. I am eBay stalking a bitch who caused me to miss out on the Marc Jacobs shoes pictured below. That means whatever that bitch sets out to buy from now for the next few auctions, will be sniper bidded on my me with my anonymous-I-never-pay-for-those-auctions eBay account.

Can you tell I am in a bad mood? Blame Cablevision and the fact that I have not been laid in a hot minute.

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