Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Spain Updates

I don´t want to spend all day on the computer so this will not be a well thought out blog...

I am not as dark as I want to be yet. I have been doing more sightseeing and shopping than tanning. That will change by Friday/Saturday.

Norwegian Wood by Murakami (not the handbag designer) is an amazing book. It made me cry on the beach (hard to do). Love is such a powerful emotion. I hate being in love and I hate not being in love. I hate the ex for consuming my thoughts more than he should. I guess that´s because he was the last person I loved. C´est la vie. He tells me "goodbye" but then reads the blog. WTF???? How do you block someone from reading?Just him, the rest of you can stay. Thanks to Matt for recommending the book. Bad man thinks that more sex will help you forget a past love. Mental note, must have more sex. I had planned on possibly indulging while here, it being my birthday and all and you should get laid on your birthday, but ALL of the Spanish men here I have met smell, BAD! Musty balls is not a sexy thought. Will make up for this when I get back. Cute but stinky. FYI, Adrian Grenier is half Native American, half European. Not a Latin cell in his body, as per Instyle.

The food here is pretty good. Not as good as food I have had in Cuba, but satisfying. It´s hard to get full in this heat. That siesta thing is a good idea. I just awoke from a nap (it is 5pm here) After I am done at this internet cafe, I will go enjoy a huge birthday dinner and then probably get drunk off sangria. I had to buy a watch. The last watch I wore was a Powerpuff girls watch. This one is adult, a Swatch. My cell phone usually keeps time, but not here obviously. I also purchased shoes (I am a woman), clothes, and some gifts for two people. Not a lot to buy here. The street fair today reminded me of Canal Street. Africans sell fake Louis Vuitton EVERYWHERE!!! Tomorrow the fair is supposed to have nice leather goods. I hope to find something suitable for the godfather (mine, not Brando).

My hotel is as gorgeous as the website, www.hotelsanlorenzo.com. The Spanish are nice, but not as nice as other Latin places I have visited. Must go, internet card running out.

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Sunday, July 25, 2004

Buttercup Blogs from Spain

I just want to let everyone know I arrived safely, despite being hassled by security for some strange reason at the airport in Palma. The town is lovely; I have only been here for 5 hours or so but I have done lots of window shopping and devoured a lovely meal washed down by sangria. Sunday is a day of rest in Palma so many things are closed. If I get time, I will keep you posted on my activities.

Thanks to Lawyer for showing me a great time on Friday. I am glad I was able to prove to him that not all people you meet on Craig´s List are fat, ugly and weird. Lawyer and I wrote lists of what was wrong with the other. At the top of my list was that I am controlling (so what, I´m a Leo) and at the top of his list was that Lawyer cannot hold his liquor! I got that boy so messed up he was ready to let me drive his car and I don´t even have a license.

MC was so sweet and made up for not seeing me all week by coming to Brooklyn to take me on a goodbye/happy b-day lunch. We had Mexican next door to Moe´s and then took a lovely stroll through Fort Greene and capped the afternoon off sitting in the park watching the dogs romp. It was definitely worth almost missing my plane. Flirting came in handy at the check-in gate because I was upgraded after a few batted eyelashes! MC and I have more in common than I thought and I really hope at the very least we can be friends after he leaves NY in Sept. I´m going to do my best not to get too attached since he is leaving but we do have a Brand Nubian show and a visit to the zoo on the schedule before he goes back to Ann Arbor.

Adios from Mallorca!

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Friday, July 23, 2004

Sunshine and Rain

It seems Sun has taken an earlier flight to Spain from NY and left without me. Don't worry Sun, I'll catch up with you on Sunday.

I went to CompUSA to pick up my new memory card (no time to wait for shipping) and came back fresh as a baby's ass out of the shower - except I did not have the luxury of taking this shower naked.

Text to Lawyer - "I am so wet....and disheveled. If we still meet tonight you must not hold it against me."

Being wet is never a bad thing....is it?

Only 32 more hours until my flight on Saturday - yippee!!!

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Thursday, July 22, 2004

Joys? of being single

Her boyfriend has been gone visiting dying family member for 7 weeks). He and I used to hang out almost as much as I hung out with her.

Me: So when does he get back? I would like to see him.
Her: He gets back next Wednesday, the day of your birthday.
Me: What great timing. What do you have planned for his return.
Her: I am cleaning the apartment.
Me: That's it.
Her: Yeah, I took Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off.
Me: That's fun. You guys should book a trip.
Her: No, he has been gone seven weeks. We are going to stay in and fuck all day until I go back to work on Monday.
Me: Wow, I've gone longer than that.
Her: Your single.

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Lawyers and Sangria

Have decided to leave NY with final date with new lawyer guy. Shitty friends (I still love them to pieces, except for Jennifer Wade at this moment) suck at getting together a cohesive plan for birthday drinks before I depart. As usual, I will spearhead the celebration when I return. After discussions, it has been determined that lawyer guy is not a large firm lawyer, but rather a New York city lawyer working on Labor & Employment issues for some government agency (cannot recall exact agency due to marjarita intake prior to conversation). He also had a good reason for the whole Lot 61 thing - he is not a native NYer. Classic! I can corrupt him. For starters, there are loads better places to go on a Friday night....I hope.

Why did Amazon send me the wrong memory card? Dumb Fucks!@! Scored a last minute one from CompUSA. Hopefully nothing else will go wrong with this vacation. With the exception of the shitty exchange rate for Euros - my 1k will currently get me 861 Euros. Does anyone know how much each pitcher of Sangria is?

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Legal Discrimination

Since I work at a law firm, have worked at two others in the past and dated several lawyers, I decided after the last lawyer to never talk to another lawyer unless 1) it was work related or 2) I had been arrested or wronged. Well I have been talking sporadically over e-mail with a guy I met on Craig's List and just found out today he was lawyer. Voice-mail from potential date after my rejection of his idea to meet him at Lot 61, "Excuses, excuses. You don't do clubs? The only reason I am going out is because I have been so busy with this trial I need to unwind. Hopefully we can get together before you leave."

WTF??!!?? Not once has he mentioned the legal profession. Me being not so much concerned these days with a guys job title, never asked. Associate, Partner, Staff Attorney, Of Counsel, Counsel - these are titles I want nothing to do with. So now my dilemma - is it wrong to discriminate based on job. Does anyone know what kind of crowd Lot 61 attracts on a Friday night? Was I too quick to dismiss that idea? What happened to let's get a drink and see if you can hold a conversation for longer than 10 minutes?

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Cure for Jet Lag

So I am flying to Ibiza and Mallorca on Saturday night and not arriving until Sunday afternoon. Who should be the last person I see before I leave? I need some male interaction to analyze on the flight. Of course Ed will win the last seen portion by circumstance since he offered a ride to the airport. Thanks again - love a friend who offers a favor!

I would love to have a naked tango with MC for memory sake during the plane ride and the trip (just in case none of the Spaniards pan out). He is also more laid back than Moe which is intriguing because I am wondering what I have to do to get a reaction out of him. I want to test him until he becomes animated; I don't really care if the release is positive or negative, as long as he gets off this even wave. However, Moe continues to surprise and impress me. In addition to the creepy stalking, like remembering every date and every outfit in his bar, he also has popped up to take me to lunch in the city twice this week.

Thank God -  since the only thing I had to look forward to today was the ice cream social at work. Law firms know deep down they treat you like shit, so every now and then they give out bagels for breakfast or ice cream and think they have restored the status quo.

Tonight I went to the Bad Boy P. Diddy comedy show with my boy Ed, looked at the line and decided to hang out in Fort Greene park instead and smoke out while we played with dogs. Nothing like a good white carb to cure the munchies, so we headed to One Greene and chowed down on edamame, seaweed salad, sushi and sashimi. To keep that feeling of being too full at bay, we head back through the brownstones of Fort Greene and finished off the joint. Of course we then hit Moe's. I was very lucky that my manager friend was not there, so we were able to hang out without interruption. After one too many rounds and realizing how much sake, frozen mojitos and Corona I have had, I was ready to hit the sack. 2 more days of hanging out til Spain. 2 more days of finding out exactly what folks got me for the birthday. Leos love gifts!

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Looking for Buttercup

There is a certain sense of power and intrigue that comes from the idea that near and far some guy who has heard of me or may have met me is taking his sweet precious time performing google searches to find me and/or my blog. Wouldn't have been easier to just ask for the URL?
 
D.C. update - I read some of the short stories from my D.C. youngin. His stories are so poignant, powerful and vibrant. They tell stories of people in pain and people on the side lines. I loved them. I imagined destroying the suite we enjoyed on my last trip with our wild night and then being awoken at dawn with a live reading of a new piece. We shall have to save that for the next trip and make sure I don't get drunk with any summer associates at the firm first. Tipsy+Sex= GO, Drunk+Sex= NO. We exchanged some e-mails. Hopefully I will see him after Spain next week but before Miami for Labor Day.

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Monday, July 19, 2004

Last Minute Gifts

Well for all you that have yet to get me something for my birthday, today is your lucky day. Ipod just dropped it's price $100 so the 40G model would be great! If you engraved it with "Buttercup" I would be extra grateful. I could also use a good jewelry box. They sell nice ones at Hallmark. I need a large one, so go with the $75 model. I am not dripping in ice yet, but those street fairs across the world always get the best of me. Lastly, I refuse to succumb to the bullshit that is the world of digital cameras and get the memory card that I need for my trip to Spain. So, why don't you take the liberty of doing it for me?

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Crazy Bitch

This bitch is the reason that men are afraid of marriage. It's like that show where the people peeled their faces to reveal aliens. Men probably think that once they pop the question, they will peel back a woman like this!
 
Thanks to Chris for pointing out this site. Thank God my mother taught me that the knight in shining armor fantasy with a hot rich guy was bullshit and she made sure she gave me a nice education so I would not worry about a husband. Don't get me wrong, I still worry about getting laid as frequently as I would like by the right guy :o)

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Men, Rats and Rules - Part 2

Lex has written a response to my suggestion of divine indifference:
 
Hi Buttercup. No worries about lack of permissions...I am flattered that you quoted me.

You make a very good point. Divine Indifference definitely works, on both males and females, but it drives the men truly insane. They are not used to being ignored, and as you can see in our friend BadMan's site, there is no greater turnoff than hearing the words, "I'm starting to care for you", after a casual romp in bed with a fling.

This Indifference you suggest reminds me of THE RULES, no? Personally, my mother always told me what her mother always told her: "Never call a guy. Let him call you."

Did you ever notice that the guys you don't really care for are the ones who pursue you the most aggressively? The ones that you don't call, call right on time and frequently? This is the proof.

It is REALLY DIFFICULT to be an aggressive, independent, and forthright woman these days, when ancient rules still apply.  (Buttercup comment - TOO fucking true, honesty is not as appreciated as people might think)

Between all this Worshipping, Being Worshipped and Being Indifferent, can we agree that these terms only apply to either relationships that are casual, or just starting, or the kind that go nowhere? I still hold that none of these options are suitable for a fulfilling, REAL relationship.
 
While I have never read "The Rules", I do think that I follow rules when I date guys I like. If I see no future with you, but you are hot, I might hang out with you for a while to kill time but eventually I will get bored. Being a Leo, I need to be kept excited. With the two men I have loved and have loved me in return (which are the only two REAL relationships I have had - sorry to any guy I have gone out with who is reading this, you were a placeholder), I have not followed the path or worship, be worshipped, or be indifferent. But, I also came out of both those relationships burned and looking back it was because I gave my heart too quickly (i.e, before they gave theirs). No one likes to go out on a limb alone and if you go out there first, the guy has a chance to take his time joining you or leave you sitting out there looking stupid. And my grandma, mother, best male friend (and the ex!!) said it best - you should marry a guy who loves you more than you love him. You can start this by letting him go out there on that limb first. Love can never be perfectly 50/50 and women give up more in marriage than men anyway.
 
So now, even if I like someone, I play the field and hope they show me their true colors first. If they do, and the feeling is mutual, I drop everything/everyone else (all other men on the plate) like a bad habit (which cost me a great potential real relationship with the DJ because of the ex who thought he wanted me but changed his mind months later). If they don't, I guess it was never meant to be but that does not mean we can't be friends (really!). This is where we transition from dating to "hanging out". Through this process, I have gotten my great collection of male friends who will do anything and everything for me, because I never acted interested in them and they never got to fuck me. Men love that shit. 
 
Please note that special rules apply for fuck buddies. Said rules may be addressed in future posts.

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Men and Rats

Reprinted without permission from Lex's Blog:

Right now I am reading
BadMan's bible :"The Joy of Letting Women Down", by Natalie D'Arbeloff. The premise is that there are two types of men in this world: the Reliable Male and the Worshipped Male. The reliable male, is generally, what you'd call a "nice guy." He treats women well, he sounds good on paper, you wouldn't mind being seen with him at a restaurant...Unfortunately for him, he doesn't drive women wild with passion. No. On the other hand, the Worshipped Male is the bad boy who seems to always get the girls...women know what they're getting into, but they don't care. He drives them mad with lust.

The author of this book does have a good point--women tend to go for the guy who makes them nervous, and unsure about how he feels about them. Is he going to call? Is he checking out that model at the end of the bar? Does he care about me as a person? For example, the Worshipped Male (WM) must use the tactic of "Hit/Miss" to reel a girl in...You give a girl something pleasurable (a great, fabulous date that makes her feel like she's the only one in your life), followed by something unexplained (no call for five days!). Then, five days later, "What are you up to on Friday?" Addiction is thusly formed.

This bears an odd resemblance to an experiment I performed on rats during my senior year as a psychology major. For rats, the Hit/Miss tactic is the equivalent of giving them a pellet of food when they press a bar , and then to not give them any food at all, even when they press the bar exactly the same way as before. This causes a rat to do some pretty insane things---they become superstitious. They claw at the bar. They run in circles around the cage. They hit it over and over. Eventually, they cower in the corner, shivering, reduced to near paralysis. One more try--and then, yes! A pellet of food! Rat forgets the torment she just endured, and starts to press the bar again, hoping for the next litle morsel of pleasure.

I think this is a great process--if you want to attract rats. I know we've all been through this, man or woman. Sometimes you only want a challenge. The point is to "win" the affection of another person, but once it is won, it is no longer fun. Badman indeed gets any woman he wants--read his blog. He's a force to be reckoned with. But I think he might admit that eventually, he would like to meet the right woman, who he doesn't feel the need to play headgames with.
Tactics such as these will attract women--but not women who are looking for a serious relationship, or who are eager to enter into a healthy and wonderful partnership with another person. Wait. Perhaps that's the point. This book is just about getting laid and growing your ego! Ah. Ok, I can stop writing now.

I think I've been on both sides of the coin: I have been worshipped and I have done my share of worshipping. But any type of unequal relationship, is, in the end, unfulfilling. And obviously, those relationships based on ego and lust did not work out...For example, the "Email Breakup" guy. Yes, it was extremely short-lived, but it represented the end of my phase of going after guys that just needed worshipping--the kind of guys who I knew in my gut from the moment I met them, that they wouldn't want a relationship, and I wasn't ready for one either.

Lex came thisclose to hitting the nail on the head. She neglected to mention one other option besides being worshipped or worshipping - divine indifference. Now, when I met new guys, I set no expectations, I don't start thinking about being his girlfriend, I don't make him the new sole focus of my life, I just sit back and enjoy the experience (and sometimes fantasize about sitting on his face). If you have no expectations, how can you get hurt? Sometimes men start acting like pussies (see Officer London posts) but most times, they enjoy the lack of pressure and you would be surprised how much they come suddenly come running!


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Conversation with the Ex

-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 2:01 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble 
  
for sure
cute
i'm sure UR pleased to see that UR brainwashing techniques are still up to par.
 
-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:53 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

I knew that all along.

You seem to chew just fine the last time I saw you eat. Tell your future wife to sue me if you have problems doing anything else with your mouth.

Exactly. Glad to see you still have a brain.
 
-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:40 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble   

yes OE - DAG!
Actually I still having a chewing issue.
riiiiiiiiiight! So I tried to show off (by doing a trick or something similar) and messed up and paid the price by crashing head long into the hard icy skating surface almost smashing my skull open? correct?
 
-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:26 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble
 
Whateva.
You drink Old English. I think I got it down, right? You don't have any feelings to hurt. Your chin has heeled just fine. And that was not an S&M gift, it was a result of your attempt to show off at Wollman Rink.  

-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:17 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble   

oh yeah forgot - that's UR line.
;-)
Now that HURTS! U forgot which malt liquor I drink... My feelings are hurt and my chin is getting a burning sensation... thanks for taking such pride in the S&M gift that I will take to the grave

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:10 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble
 
Oh please. Don't start talking about hurt. You are talking to me afterall.
That's true, you like St. Ide's, right? I should remember considering I was
forced to purchase one when I busted up your chin. 

-----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 1:03 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble

that hurts, even as a joke
not to worry though, i would never buy colt 45 

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 12:50 PM
To: ex@email.com 
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble
 
No trouble. I wouldn't want you to get shot or anything.....well, on second
thought......just kidding. 
  
  -----Original Message-----
From: ex@email.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 12:37 PM
To: buttercup@company.com
Subject: RE: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble 
  
thanks for the info

-----Original Message-----
From: buttercup@company.com
Sent: Monday, July 19, 2004 12:32 PM
To: ex@email.com
Subject: Malt Liquor will get you in trouble
 
http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/27486.htm (reader note - link to story about two men shot in Queens over their desire for malt liquor)

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Jennifer Wade is a BAD friend

Rarely do I put my friends on blast on this blog or even give out their government names. Afterall, none of them read it and I don't want to them showing up in google. But Jennifer deserves this, so she is going to get it. We go back 13 years since the days we met at Prep. So then how did she think she could make her way to the city for a wedding, hang out with her little Columbia crew at One Little West 12 and then say that we could have dinner on Sunday and then turn her phone OFF (I know this because it went straight to voice-mail all day). Bitch! This is why I have never come to visit you at school. This is also why all my close friends are men. They are surprisingly more sensitive than you think. Only when you aren't fucking them of course :o)

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Another Crappy Date

I am so done with boring, shallow men that I can no longer take the energy to explain why I didn't connect with you or why I don't want you to call me. I surely don't have the energy to blog about why my date tonight sucked. So I will move on to better topics, my dog and T.V.
 
Here is the perfect reason why I love my dog Snoopy but, I also want to bash his head in sometimes. I gave all the dogs a large rawhide treat today. Those rawhides are a long term treat for my small dogs as it takes them a few days to finish them off. So after a while, Brandy and GiGi put their rawhide aside to save for latter. Sure enough I come home tonight to find that Snoopy has rounded up the treats from the other two and hidden them in my comforter. He sits calmy in the hallway with his own treat as if he has no idea why he is the only one with one left. I love the little guy cause he has balls, but every now and then when I walk him, I see a Pit Bull or a Rotti and wish they would kick the shit out of him just to teach him a lesson.
 
I am sorry I missed the new HBO show Entourage. The lead actor, Adrian Grenier is gorgeous. And he is from Brooklyn. Of course he loses points for once dating Melissa Joan Hart.  I will be in Spain in less than a week. Hopefully all the men I meet will look just like him. If anyone watched the show and loved it or hated it, hit me in the comments box. I didn't read grebat things, but what do you expect from Marky Mark?

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Sunday, July 18, 2004

Diddy Does Comedy

Well my hairdresser's husband is a member of Diddy's entourage. Needless to say, it's fun to get my hair done and be regaled with tales of her weekends in the Hamptons, Dominican Republic, and Paris. As long as the bitch is back to do my hair when I need her to, I am cool with her many trips. Well she signed me up for some live taping of a comedy show in Brooklyn titled "Bad Boy Comedy". So now Diddy is going to have a television show about comedy. Producing, rapping, broadway, movies, fashion, politics, comedy?? Is it me, or is this Diddy overkill. Now I have to round up three folks to attend with me this Wednesday. I will be sure to post a review following.

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Saturday, July 17, 2004

Nickname Background

People always give me a funny look when they see my nickname Buttercup somewhere. It's on my phone, it's the name of my computer, I use it as an e-mail address, and of course it is the moniker for this blog. Well, my nickname comes from the Buttercup of Powerpuff Girls fame. If you have ever seen the show or the movie, you know there is nothing funny about Buttercup. She is the toughest fighter of the three, who acts first and thinks second. A guy I used to date who is now a good friend (despite the fact that he stuck his tongue down my throat over lunch last week) branded me as his personal Buttercup a few years ago. It got a little crazy when I had all the PPG games on my Gameboy, the PPG watch and Buddy icon, etc. Here are some links to Buttercup character descriptions - trust that she is not to be fucked with.

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Fuck Prozac

Well according to a recent study, sex, not money, buys happiness. For all of you with a Prozac, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Effexor, or Paxil prescription - just say no to drugs and have find someone to get busy with instead!

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From the Whitney to Slick Rick

Yesterday, despite my boss acting like he left his balls at home recently, he gave me a Summer Friday which means I left the office at 3:00 p.m. So after a wardrobe change at home, I met my friend at the Whitney. Friday is "pay what you wish" day so we dropped a dollar and were off to see the exhibits. I won't go into their permanent collection or the Ed Ruscha exhibit which were both good, but Ana Mendieta's work is AMAZING. For those of you who don't know, I have a thing for crazy people. I love people who are "off" and Ana certainly is. I guess that also explains my fascination with Angelina Jolie - besides her perfect face and body. Mendieta's work included one photo of her covered by a white sheet, with the white sheet covered in blood and an animal heart over her own heart under the sheet. Another piece was a series of photos of Ana and a man as he shaved his beard off and she re-applied it to her own face. My favorite photo was of Ana covered in a chicken's blood and feathered so that she herself became the chicken. I know this may sound a little odd as I describe it, but seeing the work visually was moving. Ana became one with each of her works, hence the title "Earth and Body". For me, great art is personal and each photo, sculpture and movie clip was an clear expression of her and her thoughts.

After working of an appetite, we hit Serafina, my new favorite restaurant on the Upper East Side. Everything was perfect from the salmon and tuna tartar, to the pasta with calamari and shrimp, to the ravioli. The waiter selected a complimentary chardonnay and the setting suggested an old Italian village. If you every in the area, I suggest a visit.

We got wind of a concert at the Hammerstein Ballroom featuring Slick Rick and Kanye West - needless to say we were there. In my "old" age, I still have a candle burning for Slick Rick the Ruler. I grew up on tracks like Children's Story and Hey Young World and Slick Rick delivered! Kanye West is also a great live act as he knew how to tease the crowd before closing his set with Jesus Walks. You would have thought the hardest thugs in world were auditioning for a church choir! The evening ended for us at daybreak and I can't believe it has taken me an hour to finish this post. As you can deduce, my mind is still in a haze.
 
Happy Saturday. And Ed thanks for breakfast, but, you will never see your Knicks tee-shirt again. Sorry.

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Friday, July 16, 2004

Google Store

As if they won't make enough money from their IPO, google also has a store. They sell everything from onesies for babies to google bean bags.....just the thing I was looking for to redecorate the apartment.

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Thursday, July 15, 2004

Rainy Roots Recap

I have been reminded that I did not fill you guys in on the Roots date with MC. Well things did not start off well - MC left his phone at work so after not hearing from him I began to think I was stood up. I got kind of wet waiting in the rain for the Roots to begin their set. When they finally did go on, it was hot, but they did 5 songs!!! What a waste. Well I went home alone and wet and kind of pissed that I was stood up. No more than ten minutes later MC calls and explains and we decide to hit the after party despite us both having to work the next day. Luckily by this point the weather cleared up, so I changed out of my wet soggy boots and slipped on some sandals instead. After teaching MC about the trains, we hit the party which was overpriced, empty and the bouncer had the nerve to be selective despite the lack of a crowd. Folks, this is why I do not participate in the club scene in NY.
 
We stayed at the club for 3 rounds and talked about everything under the sun. I love a man who can say more to me than "Damn ma, you got a phat ass", so he won cool points for that. We moved the party to APT, which was FREE and way more poppin'. We stayed there for a few more rounds when my stomach started telling me, "Hey bitch, you only gave me an apple and some coffee today. What the fuck is your problem??".  We capped off the night enjoying the Tipping Point, since the whole after party was a bust only to find out the next day according to www.okayplayer.com that not only did they perform, but Kweli and Musiq stopped by for guest spots. Needless to say I am pissed. I could have hung - after all I took a "sick" day. MC will not suffer from the one date per person rule. I'll keep you posted on our future endeavors.

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Craig's List Sucks

Well I went out for a quick drink tonight with a guy I met on Craig's List. He was very sarcastic and dry (which I like) but just not appealing for my eye. At first glance (from the photos he e-mailed me) I thought he was Italian, but actually he was Iranian. I am not picky about ethnicity so that did not bother me. What did annoy me was that I tried to guess how tall he was based on the surroundings in the room he was pictured in; boy was I wrong and the 4 inch heels I wore nearly towered over him. My rule of thumb is, if you don't want to rip his clothes off, don't see him again. Needless to say, despite us both sharing an astrological sign (Leo), we did not share our birthday suits.
 
I have only one date planned for the weekend, a follow-up with MC and possibly a friend of his visiting from out of town. I have never had a problem juggling men, so showing two attractive men a good time in New York will be a piece of cake. Any cute chicks in the NY metro area want to tag along, hit me on e-mail and submit a photo and a reason why you should hang with us on Saturday (trust me ladies, the friend is hot, I just don't have any single female friends). I will post tomorrow with my review of the Ana Mendieta exhibit at the Whitney Museum. Thanks to my "Cuban doctor" for always reminding me that I should use my brain sometimes instead of just getting drunk every night this summer. Which reminds me, I have lost 5 pounds on a low food, high alcohol diet this past week. Perhaps the new diet craze will be the Vodka plan. You heard it here first.

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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

No Worries, Be Happy

Well all this time I was worried because I had not heard from my D.C. youngin or my Morris Chestnut (MC) look alike in a few days. Turns out that D.C. boy went on vacation and just got back to the office today and has been asking around if anyone had talked to me. So now my counterpart in D.C. is making fun of me asking what I did to him because he never goes to her office and all of a sudden he comes to her office to "chat". Let's see how long it takes for him to call me.

MC finally got back to my e-mail after 3 days (I guess everyone is not addicted to the computer like me) with an e-mail at 5:45 a.m.!!!! We are going to go to check out the Roots free concert (weather permitting) and then head to the afterparty.

Craig's List update - Despite the response from Al Roker's twin, I am meeting up with a hot real estate agent tomorrow for drinks that I met from that one post. He and I have a love affair in common - with mojitos!! I will have updates tomorrow night. Now I am off to brave the rain and change clothes to hang with MC. Stuffy suits are never sexy!

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Here is one last picture of Snoopy and his mom together. Now that you see Snoopy with each parent, who does he look more like, GiGi or Brandy?

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This is Snoopy's mom and GiGi's baby mama, Brandy. She is 4 years old. Yeah, I know, GiGi is a cradle robber. She is too aloof to look at the camera. Brandy is definitely a bitch in every sense of the word.

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This is GiGi who will be 15 years old this year. Next to him is his son Snoopy who is 1 year and 4 months. They usually don't get along well enough to sit this still but everyday they surprise me!

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New Digital Camera

Well, I got tired of not having a digital camera and borrowing the ex's or my "IT Manager" friend. So I ordered one up from Amazon and with one day shipping it was waiting for me when I got home tonight. I picked out the Minolta Dimage XG model which so far has taken some really good indoor photos. I can't wait until tomorrow when all eBay listings have a one cent gallery charge. Junk in the closet - Bye Bye! Money in my wallet - Hello!

I also snuck in some pictures of the family which I will post shortly. Not my family silly, my doggy family - Brandy, GiGi and Snoopy!

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Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Leading Him On?

I have been accused by Officer London of leading him on. I don't know how you can lead a guy on when you have been out with him no more than 6 times, disclosed the fact that you were dating other people, did not advance past kissing him and made it clear that if he could not be better at communicating time/plan changes you were no longer going to see him. I don't know how more upfront you can be. Men will be men I suppose, as usual, the minute you lose interest, their interest peaks.

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Monday, July 12, 2004

Google Blog

Did anyone know that Google had a blog? If not, well now you do. They are just getting started, but so far I am interested. It's fun to hear from insiders at a company. I wish I could start a blog for my firm, but we could probably get fired. Damn lawyers, always want to keep shit confidential.

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Outdoor Movies

I love outdoor movies. Ever since the ex took me about 2 years ago, I have been hooked. Here are a few links to nice outdoor movie options in NY. Enjoy!

1. Riverside
2. Bryant Park
3. Brooklyn Bridge
4. Williamsburg

There are others but even Buttercup keeps a secret.

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Sunday, July 11, 2004

Al Roker Twin

Someone must be playing a cruel joke on me. Just for fun, I decided to post on craigslist and see what type of people I would get to respond to me. I only see two men out of 25 e-mails(better/faster response rate than match!) that I am even considering meeting in person. This man is one that does not have a shot in hell. I hate to sound shallow, but let's be serious, he looks like your local weather man.

FYI - I was telling a friend a story about meeting guys in person for the first time after the online introduction. I explained to her how it can be a bit scary getting into a car with a stranger so I have taken to carrying my sharpest cutting knife from the kitchen in my purse. She responds, "Why not get some mase or pepper spray"? Too prissy I say, I want to see the reward of blood shed from any man who attempts to take advantage of me. This shall serve as a warning.

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Soho Saturday

Well I loaded up on plans today, but only one came to fruition - eating and shopping with Sabby. My friend home from Cuba had to celebrate the anniversary of his grandfather's death so our plans to see a Cuban artist exhibit at the Whitney were scrapped. We will reschedule for the week. I also had a date with Officer London who called me at 12:15 a.m. to confirm plans and I didn't answer because I was out with the loser young guy from last night. Needless to say, suddenly Officer London's phone was broken all day until he sent me a text at 8:00 p.m. to tell me something "happened" and he can't make then. I sent one back asking him to call me. He responded that he was not in the mood to talk he would call me tomorrow. I told him not to bother because while I have enjoyed hanging out with him, I have decided to see someone else exclusively (lie!). Guess what - suddenly he was in the mood to talk. As I tell every guy I meet, I don't have time for bullshit. Good luck to Officer London should he choose to get back on match as he won't be seeing me again.

Well while Officer London was out being an inconsiderate fuck, I was enjoyed brunch at Cubana Cafe. Then we hit the Soho shops full force (side note - spent way too much money this pay period, must buy digital camera to take photos of old clothes to raise money on eBay for Spain trip. Well we then went back to her place to listen to Too Short and enjoy some sticky which only caused us to go back and get more food this time around at I Coppi. A fabulous evening as always (minus the fab meal that Officer London was to prepare for me). Thanks Sabby!

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Buttercup vs. Young Buck - 15 - Love

Well for those of you that don't follow tennis, love equates to ZERO and that is where the young bucks are at with the dates. My date was a perfect gentleman once we finally met up. Before that, he was two hours late and got lost locating my house on Eastern Parkway, a MAJOR street in Brooklyn. He did win points for the gorgeous pink and lilac roses he had for me which were beautifully arranged. He took me to a nice dinner and a movie DEEP in Sheepshead Bay, an area of Brooklyn I have yet to navigate. Too bad his conversation was not up to par, another reason the young guys will always lose. When you were practically born yesterday, you have nothing to talk about so you are not interesting yet. I love a man to inquire about me but if you can't show me why your life is unique and interesting, I never want to talk to you again. I have three dogs I can have a one sided conversation with and they are each easier on the eyes than any man I have ever met (except for you Becks).

So I am apologizing in advance but to the NY youngin' we will never go out again and its not because you were two hours late. On the other hand, I am ready to take some day trips to D.C. to see my youngin' down there. Does anyone know of a Chinatown bus that goes there cheap, similarly to the Boston bus?

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Saturday, July 10, 2004

Special Post for Shareef Jackson

This post is for Shareef and anyone else who has a problem with the fact that I prefer men older than me (30 and up to be more precise). Below are my reasons:

1. I am at an age of commitment and I want a man who is as well.
2. I do not want children so I prefer to date a men who already has children or realizes they are overrated. I find that this is more likely to happen after 30 rather than before. My hope is to be a second wife.
3. Females mature faster than males (do some research on puberty if you don't believe me)
4. An older person, especially a male is more likely to be financially stable than a younger male recently out of college. It is a fact that earning power increases with age. No I am not a gold digger, but the things I like to do cost money.
5. An older man has had more intimate experiences in his lifetime and is no longer on a quest to score.

I hope this helps you understand why some women like an older man. But I will let you know how these two new young bucks fare. They could change my mind completely or make me never look at a young boy again. Don't worry - when I am 30-35 and have a really stable financial cushion, I am going to scour the Ivy campuses for new hot freshman.

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"Informational Sessions" NOT dates

Well last night I went out with the guy I met at Moe's, who also happens to work there. Those of you who read this blog consistently know who I am referring to. Going forward he will be referred to as "Moe". He claims to never pick people up at his bar - he is one of the managers (riiiiiight, if you picked me up, you pick up others) and that he has been seeing me in the bar for over a year and watching me and my mannerisms the entire time (a bit creepy if you ask me). I thought he was kidding until he described every guy I had ever been in there with and every outfit I had on when I have gone there (really, really creepy). Looking past that, we had a great conversation and a good time together until he informed me that our get together was not a proper date but rather an "informational session" to determine if in fact I was worthy of a date with him (I am, but due to scheduling conflicts that won't happen at least until Tuesday). My ex used to always tell me, you never know who is watching and boy was he right.

Up to bat tonight is a new guy from match. He is young (another 24 year old) but impressed me enough with his writing style and ambition to let me consider him. He has his own business (another techie) and works for Hotjobs (perhaps he can get a hot job for me). Will post with updates later.

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Friday, July 09, 2004

Washington, D.C. revisited

I had a blast in D.C. I had such a good night yesterday with some folks from the firm's office there that I decided to come home Friday afternoon to recover and sleep it off. Those summer associates sure know how to drink! Well I really fell hard for a new sweet guy from the office there. Stats - 6'1, white, originally from Rochester, lives in Annapolis and writes shorts stories and poetry in addition to his day job. Has been published six times. We talked a lot last month during my time in the office for my event during Reagan's funeral (see June 2004 posts), but I had no idea he was interested. I sent him an e-mail letting him know I would be down there last month and without further contact from me for over three weeks, he remembered he wanted to hang out with me last night and even cancelled plans to attend a good friend's going away party to be with me instead. I can't believe any of what happened last night (which I won't go into) because I can't fathom that I am interested in someone who is 24 years old!!!!!! Everyone who knows me, knows that you have to pretty much be over 30 to even get the time of day. What makes my new D.C. friend different is that he is so well read and he is a really good writer. To boot, who doesn't love a guy that reads the New Yorker? It looks like I may be spending more time than I thought in D.C. coming up....At least I know what to do with those 5 vacation days I have left.

Thanks to my fellow Cuban events chica in D.C. for showing me the best time last night after the meeting. We hit all the downtown D.C. hot spots and even chatted up some agents and CIA folks. It is so sexy dating men who carry guns. I guess that explains my fascination with Officer London.

Well I am off to take a nap and get ready for my date with the guy who works at Moe's, my favorite place to get a drink in Fort Greene. I'll post later with details.

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Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Job Hunt - Take #3

Well things are sounding okay with the job at the bank as a corporate event planner. I hit a snag in the road when the feedback from the headhunter was positive, but the interviewer said I didn't sound like I really wanted to work at "Company X". Who the hell is in the job market with one company in mind they want to work for??? If you do that, you are certain to set yourself up for disappointment. Well this headhunter and the woman I interviewed with had no idea I know some VPs on a social level there. They will now after 2 friends made some phone calls to the boss of the woman I met with to plug me. Don't you love friends who do you favors unprompted? To top it off, I also wrote a sappy kiss ass letter about how much I want to work there so I hope it works out. Now that there was an obstacle, I want the job more than ever. The fact that the events budget sounds unlimited didn't hurt matters either. Can you say McAllen 25 year old scotch and vintage champagne at networking cocktails on a private rented boat? My events portfolio would be sick after this job.

So Officer London and I went on a date Monday and I my phone started to vibrate while we were enjoying mojitos at Sushi Samba. The following conversation ensued:

Officer London: Who is sending you a text message?
Me: No one you know.
Officer London: Well excuse me. I guess that means you don't want to tell me.
Me: Well don't take it personal, but if I dropped a name, you wouldn't know it.
Officer London: Are you dating other people?
Me: Of course. We never established an exclusive relationship. You aren't seeing other women?
Officer London: No.
Me: Why?
Officer London: Well once I met you, I found what I was looking for.
Me: That's sweet of you to say, but I have made the mistake of assuming I was the only one and found myself a little too emotionally involved with a man who was not emtionally attached to me. Now, I just play the field until someone initiates the "Boyfriend" conversation.
Officer London: So how many guys are you seeing?
Me: (thinking to myself if the new Morris Chestnut guy counts) Well, not many, I really am queen of the first date.

You can't win with men. Either you are trying to make them settle down or you are not settled down enough with them. How dare anyone assume I am not dating. Hello mofo, I met you online!!! You think you are the only guy who winked at me on match??? I like Officer London, but his tardiness to pick me up only makes him lose points to becoming my man. I hope he is reading - 6:00 p.m. means 6 not 6:22. I do not like to wait on anyone. I have left my best friend for being late. Maybe he needs me to buy him a new watch?

No posts for a few days. I am heading back to Chocolate City. I do have all new dates with new men planned for the weekend (my new thing in a new city is to find men in that city to hang out with before I go!) so I will keep you posted next week - or sooner if IT comes through with my loaner laptop. Never do business work with your own equipment. If you break it, they paid for it!

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Monday, July 05, 2004

BBQ's and Bullshit

Thanks to Josh for hosting a usual banging BBQ with good food, good people and ALCOHOL!!! I met a potential new dating prospect, a Morris Chestnut look a like who is a Michigan B-School student and working at the company I have been trying to get a foot in the door at - American Express. My boy Matt recently had an interview there as well which I hope works out for him. Sabby and I had a great time flirting and mingling - I am very glad I did not bring Officer London with me. Then we moved the party to Moe's and I finally gave my number to the cute bouncer who always gives me free drinks when I go there. Good move for me - bad move as now I have to figure out where to meet the blind internet dates I set-up.

Well every now and then I check out my ex-boyfriend's website (he is a big mixtape DJ) and wonder why I ever let another ex ruin that potential for me. The DJ was a cute sweet white boy, but the one who had my heart came back around and I cut the DJ loose like a bad habit. So, it kind of sucks to read on his website his trips to Japan, Hawaii and Iraq performing shows because I know if things has worked out with him, I would have been right there with him. The other ex still doesn't know that I cost the DJ over $1000 on a cancelled ticket to Japan for a trip we were going to take together for a show. I guess the moral for me sharing this is, never leave a good thing for someone who already had a chance with you. Men love to show interest once they see someone else wants/has you. My advice - play along, but never give up one person for another when you can always just date both of them.

I have to remind myself of this now that I hung out with the ex a few times and he may or may not be looking at me as more than just a friend again. Now that I am finally getting out there on the scene (it took me almost a year to feel ready to meet new people) and dating lots of great guys now, I would be a fool not to pursue those options for a man who had my heart and tossed it in the trash without any concern for me. I am not bitter - just realistic.

Enjoy the rest of the day off (it was a day off for me anyway)!

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Saturday, July 03, 2004

The One

How true is this post? For those of you that have ever been madly in love, why is it that as much as you want to be one with them, you also want them to die a gruesome death? The only two men I have ever loved, I felt that way about. I guess that line between hate and love really is thin.

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Officer London has landed

Well, my new cop friend finally found his way back to American soil. I haven't seen him yet but as long as he has my Cadbury fruit and nut bar, I will be excited to meet up.

I enjoyed my two favorite activities on a long hot afternoon (besides cuddling in a room with A/C) - shopping and BBQing. I know that I am getting old when I fall asleep after two beers. My friend, his cousin and I tried to sit down and watch the subway series at around 9 p.m., next thing you know their Yellow Lab Sandy is licking my face to wake me up and its 11:30 p.m.! I wasn't even drunk.

Anyway, I must cut the beer out of my diet because I am starting the get one of those pouches that women get after they have had kids which is disgusting. Who can be motivated to hit the gym when its so hot out???

Enjoy your fourth of July if I don't post anymore this long weekend.

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Thursday, July 01, 2004

Job Hunt - Take #2

Well the ad agency job did not pan out. Apparently I am a square peg trying to get into a round hole (i.e., I come from a loser boring industry, legal, and could never bring anything positive to their creative role). Fuck them! So I did what I do best - rolled into an interview at one of the biggest baddest firms on "the street" - that's Wall Street for you non-corporate types - and wowed the hell out of them. I am in the running for a job as a corporate event planner where I would be on a team of 10 and run my own job for a change. The woman who would be my superior and interviewed me today happens to be best friends with an attorney at my firm who I just did some work for last week - go figure! It seems like a cool, odd coincidence. Luckily my interview was in the afternoon.

Thanks Steve for getting me fucked up with a pitcher of margaritas from Mary Ann's the night before the big interview. I was glad to see him one-on-one, talk to him and catch up with the friendship we have sustained for all these years.

Tonight I hooked up with another friend Sabby who I have not seen in over a year. She is still cute as ever and exotic as ever and is finally selling her art. GO SABBY!!! It's the best feeling in the world to fall in love with friends all over again.

Last bit of info for the night - my new cop friend missed his flight home from London :o( So he won't be returning until tomorrow. I missed his call to tell him he was taking me to see Dave Chappelle at Westbury on Saturday.

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