Monday, June 28, 2004

Happy Birthday Steve

Well its almost midnight so I want to wish Steve a Happy Birthday. Sorry I could not hang out longer. When you hate your job, it sucks going in early and hung over. We just had a lovely dinner at Cubana Café which was decent although not 100% authentic. The flan hit the spot so I will definitely be back.

I am excited to see two of my girlfriends this week since they all have boyfriends and never have time for me. My first college roomie and BFF who I lost contact with last year finally resurfaced and we plan to see each other this Wednesday. We both missed each other and still love each other so I can't wait to give her a hug.

I also have plans to see my other BFF, my female med student friend since she finally has a full week off of school. I am thinking of taking her someplace fun like Layla or Casa La Femme. For some reason we always seem to end up at Republic. I guess that's what happens when as a broke student you get used to take out, cheap Thai tastes great!


Sunday, June 27, 2004

Reality Slut Orgasm

The Surreal Life - a complete marathon - on VH1 tonight starting at 6:00 p.m. I know what I am doing.....


Weekend Updates

Friday night - too rainy to do anything! It was the first time I had real plans to go to a club. For all you non-NYers out there I know that clubbing in the big city probably seems like the best thing in the world, but when you have done it since you were 14 (I am now almost 26) it becomes really old, really fast. Well my "brother" Jermaine (you know black people like having fake relatives) was going to take me out to new hot spot Deep, but the thunderstorms gave us a good excuse to stay home instead.

Saturday - Spent the afternoon with the ex again (I know what you are thinking, but NO we are not back together). We grabbed some lunch and enjoyed the beautiful weather on the West Side waterfront. As much as I am still attracted to him, every now and then he will say or do something and I realize he could never be enough for me - "I have to go see my nephew every weekend". Since when did babies get so exciting? Am I too selfish to want to be more important than someone's family? Don't you eventually get married to someone who is supposed to come first in your life, over the family you were born into? Maybe I don't get it because I am not really a family girl, but I want 200% of my man's attention. I guess it makes sense for me to be dating Snoopy - he loves me more than his own mother.

Saturday night - Hooked up with my friend home from Cuba and another mutual friend of ours from Prep and got dinner and drinks at Chez es Saada. Then we went to get more rounds of drinks at Coffee Shop - THE NY model hot spot and rare place to get a good drink at 3 a.m.

Sunday - Had brunch plans with 1994-1999 BEST guy friend who I have recently reconnected with but not sure if he is still planning on hanging out with me since I called him at 1:30 a.m. to remind him of our plans. Boy do I miss the food at Amy Ruth's, I would go with Hitler if asked. This is why I need to hit the gym more - my whole weekend revolved around putting shit in my mouth and I haven't even had sex in forever to be preggers. I guess its true that women replace sex with food! Must go to the gym tomorrow! Oh wait, I have a lunchtime interview. Ok, will definitely work out twice on Tuesday. Gotta get ready for Spain.


Friday, June 25, 2004

Instant Romance?

I feel just like this guy on a night like tonight. It's raining here in NY, so its the perfect night to stay in with a loved/liked one, watch movies, rub a dogs belly and cuddle. Charlotte said it best on Sex and the City, "I have been dating since I was 15 years old. Where is he already!" As much as I hated that bitch, she hit the nail on the head.


ONE Good thing about being pregnant

I know what your thinking, wow Z is changing. She is not, but she hates something more than being fat and pregnant - CAT CALLS. I was leaving the office today with a pregnant co-worker and between my office and the train station (2 blocks) and I was approached three times with various "Hey baby" lines. I had on a pair of long black dress pants and a long sleeve dress shirt - why the need to speak to me when obviously I don't want to talk to you. So I am wondering where they sell those fake stomach thingys that people wear to prepare for the real thing so I can start wearing one....and maybe get my job to give me maternity leave so I could work from home....


Thursday, June 24, 2004

Married in America?

According to the Wall Street Journal, 90% of Americans will marry at some point in their lives. I guess that means I may have to stop being so picky and just pick one already. Or, I could apply for a job like this. To be honest, I don't know which one I prefer.


Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Love Updates

Well I did something I thought would turn out worse than it did - spent the night with the ex last night. Don't get excited, I slept on his small couch and was unable to toss and turn the whole night. He made the most amazing salad (the motivation to go over there at that hour). This was a salad that would arrive on a table at Fresco. It was huge and green complete with walnuts, salmon, olives, mushrooms, cherry tomatoes, gorgonzola cheese, apples and balsamic vinegar. Then, he taught me how to play chess. I am no expert - I got beat - but it was something I had been meaning to learn since my last trip to the psych ward (maybe I will fill you in during a future post - don't worry, I am relatively sane). Well by the time chess and Kill Bill playing in the background was over, it was late and I did have an interview today. I left thinking I would go home, but forgetting my hat and having to use the bathroom lead me back and I figured it best if I just leave in the morning. I dreamt about what made me fall in love with him in the first place (men trying to get at me - pay attention!)
- His cooking - the only man I know now who would make me a salad at 10:30 on a weeknight
- His mental nourishment - no man I know has ever taught me a cool game
- I would always have a good movie to watch - Did I mention Kill Bill?
- I am always comfortable with him, despite his great weight loss and what feels like my hugest weight gain ever - all the clothes I brought him during our time together are too big!
- He has cool interior design skills
I could continue, but I won't for now. I guess what the two men I have fallen in love with have in common is their ability to take care of me. I am not a gold digger by any stretch of the imagination, but it feels good to know your partner can hold you down financially when you need him to. It is also comforting to be taken care of mentally and emotionally, something only complete comfort and acceptance can provide.

Interview - went really well. The headhunter seemed to like me and thought I would be perfect for the job. Bad news - not a huge pay increase, less vacation. Good news - great ad firm to work for - creative, young and hip company which is exactly the type of situation I am looking for. I will keep you posted on my foray outside of legal marketing.

Sorry for the long post - I gotta update more often with shorter posts. Good night!


I am the God of Love


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

If I am the God of love, why am I not surrounded by love?


Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Black Folks in Love

I am so fucking happy for Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe but do they have keep flaunting their perfect relationship by starring in shows on TV together. Now they are starring in a new UPN comedy, Second Time Around. All this time Boris had been telling me he was going to leave her as soon as the show ended. Lying bastard!!!!!


New Job - Act 1

Well after about a week of looking for a job, I have my first interview tomorrow afternoon. It is somewhat conincidental that today at work I was also asked to start my review process. I must select up to eight people to review my first year performance which will have an impact on how much of an increase I will get. So far, I have some good review candidates. I work well with the people in my department so they will give me input in addition to a few key partners that I work with a lot.

Anyway, back to my prospective new job. I am interviewing for a job at an advertising agency (more creative, fewer arrogant "I'm so fucking smart" egos). I am excited because I also do well in interview so keep your fingers crossed. If in fact I am forced to stay with my current firm longer than intended, my plan is to go to business school at Baruch. All my friends are like, go to Harvard, you are smart and black and you can get in easily. To be honest if I wanted to work at one of the big banks or accounting firms I would, but major ad and PR firms don't care about the Ivies, they want talented hard working thinkers with good ideas - not someone who looks like they were in the womb reading Chaucer (yes, I still have parts of Canterbury Tales memorized - boarding school does amazing things for your brain capacity).

On the relationship front, the guy I am digging the most who I have decided is a white version of a previous boyfriend is off on holiday in London. I have lost interest in the fireman and he must know that since I don't return his calls and didn't care when he cancelled our last date to work O/T at the firehouse. He is interested in sex, which I guess all men are, but he did not have the tact to make it less obvious when every date ended at his place with me faking tired to be driven home. Things with the "quickie date" (see June 6 post)guy never got off the ground which is fine with me because he lives in NJ and is not that cute and is probably too stupid/slow for me since he is from the south. That leaves one last guy who I have seen twice but have no chemistry with. On a good note, the cop sounds like he wants something serious. He has called twice from London and invited me to a wedding this fall. He is also by far the best at actually dating me. For you men reading this includes:
- finding interesting places to take me (zoo, City Island, cool new bars)
- making dating easy (picking me up and dropping me off)
- not allowing me to pay despite my quick hands grabbing the check
- knowing how to kiss me at the end of the night with out grabbing my ass
- not assuming that after 4 dates I am ready to sleep with you and driving to your house without checking with me first
- walking on the outside of the street
- telling me interesting things about your life
- allowing me to choose the station/CD in the car

More to come on tips to date me in future posts but this has it covered so far from my recent experiences. It has been so long since I have been out a lot since my ex's idea of a date was a home cooked meal and a DVD at his place. While I love to stay home sometimes, after a while it becomes too routine and I am still old fashioned in my view of a man "wooing" a woman.
I still plan to keep my options open and thus I have reposted my match profile (still waiting on more pics from Cuba to update when my Cuban doctor gets back - 3 more days!!!) and also started casually reading craig's list. Now, don't try this at home as those craig's list guys are a bit wacky and most don't have photos posted immediately. However, those folks are quicker to meet in person so let the speed dates begin. More to follow on that.

Enough about me. I must do some research on this company I am meeting with tomorrow. I will post with some interview results later on in the week.


Sunday, June 20, 2004

I'm Dating a Cop

All this time one of my prospects has been keeping me under the guise that he was a motorman for the MTA. Well, after a night of drinks and dinner and a huge hug from me, I discovered his gun which forced him to tell me the truth. I sort of smelled something "police-like" about him - the superb driving, the odd hours, the magazine clip, the radio in the background while he was at work but I was trying to be the "baggage free" chick and just accept what is told and given to me without being suspicious. Goes to show you sometimes baggage comes in handy.

Well we did have a nice date despite his being a liar! I realize why I like hanging out with him, he reminds me a lot of my first love who was also a cop. Too bad he is leaving for London tonight. I am actually going to miss him.


Friday, June 18, 2004

Corporate America Sucks

It always takes me about one year at a job to realize how much I hate the corporate world. Yeah I have a corporate card, I take fun business trips, I get a cute little bonus (not a bank bonus, but acceptable, I have an office not some cube but the amount of bullshit that comes with the territory is beyond belief. So I have decided that I need to work in the non profit arena. I am thinking there is less bullshit there and that is just what I need. So if anyone knows of some company hiring people to builds huts in Tibet or something along those lines, just shoot me an e-mail. I have a very impressive background.


Thursday, June 17, 2004

I'm in LOVE!!!!

With my friend Linda's baby. I finally got to meet her 5 month old baby while in D.C. and boy is he a heartbreaker. He is the finest chocolate butterball in the world with the cutest long eyelashes and curly afro. I held him most of the day and we even took a nap together. I fed him his gross lunch of rice cereal and wiped it off his face when he made a mess. I can't wait to see him again this weekend in NY!

Don't get it twisted - there is still not a man that walks the earth who could bring me to be permanently connected to him by bearing his child so he could later run off and screw the next hot young thing, but it was fun to play pretend for a day. I know everyone reading this is saying I am bitter, but every married couple I know personally has had to deal with infidelity. At least I know if/when my husband cheats, I'll go to work one day and never come home again. You can't do that after you have pushed out the kids.

Thanks to Linda and all my other girlfriends who will allow me to experience a small fulfilling taste of motherhood, without the hassle, stretch marks, weight gain, permanent disfigurement, financial instability and forever attachment to a male.


Tuesday, June 15, 2004

My Love is Like.........Air


I want to inhale her...I want to make her SOOOOOOO happy, or at least as happy as she's made me...I wrote about being in certain types of love, but a part of me remained cynical...sure, in theory you believe that type of love exists, but...I don't know...I guess you don't know until you're there and your brain and heart and mind come to the same frightening realization...
"nothing else matters" this is it...the gravy, the grits, the guts...whatever inane analogy you wanna use to describe something of great importance...
I love her and she loves me and I love that she loves me and she loves that I loves her and I love that she loves that she loves me and she loves that I love that I love her"

reprinted without permission from D. Young's blog.

I had to give this blog props because boy did he sum up in his own words what love is like - inhaling the one you love. My question is, when does that feeling go away? It sucks to feel that when the relationship is long over. Deep down past the mean bitch I like to portray, I am a hopeless romantic who still mourns my first true love - Rodney Johnson a.k.a The Sheriff. That was eight years ago in 1996. Well it took me another 5 years to fall again in 2001 so I guess I am just biding time until 2008. That will be perfect cause I'll be 30 years young and hopefully mature enough to deal with what comes my way.


Join me on the links!

Well I only have one event left under my belt at work - the firm's corporate tents at the U.S. Open golf. Fortunately, it seems Father's Day is keeping many folks from wanting to attend. If that keeps up, its Marketing Team Day on the green! I will finally be able to get some straight facts from my boss as he opens up as soon as the liquor hits his blood. After that - my calendar is free and clear. I cannot wait to spend the day at work relaxing again - reading Page Six, In Touch, US Weekly, etc. I am so behind in celebrity gossip! I am so behind in cheesy TV. How lame was the MTV Movie Awards. Either they are getting worse or I am getting too old to think they are cool. I hope its not the latter :o(


Monday, June 14, 2004

Home Sweet Home?

Well surprisingly, everything that went well in DC for my event. I was even able to have a little fun with the girls in the DC office for a little lunch on the firm. My dog was well behaved in the hotel and no one complained about him! So of course I was pissed to come home and find my bedroom and living room in disarray because of a "surprise" apartment makeover gone bad. I immediately dropped my things off and headed for the bar. Frozen Mojito's are the bomb. If you know Moe's in Fort Greene, get yours there.

Well I took my profile down from match. I am waiting for some good pictures from my friend Ed that we took while in Cuba. Then I'll start off fresh. But for now, I have my hands full with four guys to rotate and date which is a fun change. You never realize how long its been since you have had sex until you have a serious make out session. I am sticking with my rule of no sex until I have a boyfriend - but boy is kissing fun. Nothing wrong with being a cock tease every now and then.


Monday, June 07, 2004

Presidential Funerals

I just want to thank Ronald Reagan for deciding to drop dead now of all times when I have an event scheduled in DC. I want to thank the Secret Service for the security they will provide at my event since I will be making full use of my terrace location. Last but not least, I want to thank the family of Regan who thought it best to send him out like Biggie and Aaliyah and plan to parade his body through the streets, fuck up traffic, close off streets and create a mass histeria in an entire city. Did anyone forget that he had Alzheimer's so even if he was alive, he would not know what the fuck was going on. Why bother with all this shit anyway?? Only Reagan can fuck with people while alive and again with his death. Thanks for everything. And for those of you that don't know, I am a die hard BLACK Republican. Fuck poor people, fuck the umemployed, fuck the uneducated, fuck the people with too many kids to feed. I don't want to pay for your problems with my tax dollars (which is why I have a $3k tax bill). No one takes care of me and I don't want to take care of anyone else.


Someone is playing a nasty joke on me

Surely I am not perfect. Shit, I'd pay good money to wake up,look in the mirror and see Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry looking back at me (on second thought it would be nice to wake up next to them, but that is another story...). But from what I have been told, I am cute girl so when I got an e-mail from this guy through match, I thought someone must be playing a joke on me. Its not funny. I don't want to be scared of anyone's photo when I open my inbox. This is my last post until next week. Enjoy!


IT Blog Reading???

Well, it seems that someone at my firm is reading my blog. I don't know who, I don't know why, but I intend to get to the bottom of it. I am going away on business and may possibly return to writing the blog when I get back on Sunday. Since I work at a law firm, I am a bit nervous. Luckily, I have never mentioned my firm name or discussed firm business, but sometimes with blogs you never know what is wrong until you do it. If you are the guilty party, please send me an e-mail or leave me a comment to let me know if I should worry.

P.S. Who the hell in Modesto, CA is reading me religiously? I hope its not Scott Peterson!


Sunday, June 06, 2004

One more item for consideration. This cute skirt can be found on and is about $120. I only want it in black size medium. It would look great with my new gold sandals. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday. I know I will because I am BBQ'ing!!!!!


More birthday gift ideas for those of you still looking for that perfect item. This tank is about $60 and can be purchased at It is in the Ella Moss section and it is "The Milk Shake Tank." My milk shake definitely brings all the boys to the yard and its better than all of yours. So pick this up for me in a size medium. All colors acceptable.


Reasons to NEVER hang out with your friends parents - without the friend

My friend Ed and his parents are very close. Not at all like the dysfunctional relationships that exist in my "family". So I figured, of course he told them he was dropping out of school. Well, needless to say I was dead wrong. I had to break this news to them over dinner last night. Ooops. Hopefully they will keep their promise and not mention anything until he comes home and tells them himself.

Match Updates

1. Date #2 with the fireman started off rocky but ended up okay. Being late is NEVER a good way to start off with me. And on a date, I'm the only one who is allowed to act pissy. Men being pissy is a turn-off, very feminine. We ended up at a cute sake/sushi lounge in Queens. We don't have the same taste in music. I am wondering how that affects a relationship long term....

2. Short "meeting" with a new match contender. I will call him Southern Boy. I was running errands in the city and he was at work on a SATURDAY??? So we met for coffee at Starbucks. Great personality. Too bad he is not as cute as he looks in pictures, parties way too much for my taste, wears weird "man sandals", and lives in Bumblefuck, NJ. The accent is surprisingly sexy. Of course I occasionally replayed it in my head during our Starbucks date with him moaning my name. I'll give him another shot as I was slumming in flip flops, cargos, aviators and a kangol - my weekend uniform.


Friday, June 04, 2004

Worthwhile Match Date #2

He has a motorcycle and took me dancing. There is no need to elaborate - date #2 will happen as soon as I get back from DC.


Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Last Minute Fellas

Well, I have been trying to meet up with one of my many prospects since last week, but he keeps pulling "the same day". For all you men out there, if you are interested in meeting up with a woman, do not attempt to make plans with her the same day you want to see her. Regardless of what I have on my plate, I will not juggle my day around to make time for someone who thought of hanging out with me as an after thought. A woman worth getting know always has things to do, even if that means heading home straight after work to pick up suits from the cleaners. If a chick you are trying to get with is always available, obviously she has way too much free time, which is usually not a good sign. This rule does not apply to people you already know and are close to, but new folks must plan.

Ladies, if a guy asks you out same day, NEVER accept. For one, you never want to start of trend of being the last minute go-to girl. Secondly, if you really wants to see you, he will ask you about your schedule and plan accordingly with you. If he doesn't, he is not worth getting to know or is not that interested in seeing you. Either way, better to realize this up front before investing your time which is priceless.

I am going to give this match prospect one more chance to make plans, after that, his number will forever be in the "missed calls" list.


Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Spring Cleaning Part Deux

In addition to cleaning out the physical in your life for spring, for many its a time to get dropped or do the dropping in a relationship. Give or take a few weeks, it was right around this time last year that I was being dropped by my most recent ex.

Let me preface the following information with the fact that a few years ago I was hanging out with some friends and the owners of Joe's Pub, a local hot spot in NY. We were sitting in what is the only booth in the club. Usher and his crew came in making comments like "That booth is reserved for us" and "Do you know who I am?" Needless to say, we did not budge. He left the club in a huff and I have never liked him since. One of my college girls was good friends with a girl he used to date (I won't say her name, but she is the daughter of a famous black male celebrity - these are the folks you meet in private school). She too did not have fond words for him, so my hatred is justified. But back to the ranch, how dope are the lyrics to Burn. I have reprinted some of them below. This song is fitting at those times towards the end of a relationship. Shit, I still feel some of this now.

I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know she ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my booo
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-leven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

This goes out to everyone burning right now from a relationship, which is probably everyone reading this now.


Med School Drop Out

Well one of my best friends has recently informed me that he is dropping out of med school in Cuba to spend a year at home studying for the USMLE's and transfer to a US school. Well is it wrong for my first thought to be that I won't have anyone to visit in Cuba anymore? Of course, my second thought was for his academic/professional future. Taking a year off will delay his education and make him about 29 by the time he finishes. I had plans for him meeting a great Cuban chick to marry so I could go over their house and have authentic Cuban dishes. Oh well, hopefully Steve will get married soon to a nice Dominican chick so I can have Sunday meals there instead.

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