Friday, April 30, 2004

Happy Birthday to Sabby and Sheriff

I just want to put this post out there in the universe for two people, my dear Sabby who I have lost touch with and my dear friend the Sheriff. They have both broken my heart, but today I thought about them as they are both stubborn Taurus bulls born about a week apart and this day separates their birthday's equally. I last saw Sabby on her birthday last year at a breakfast he boyfriend organized and I showed up, sprained ankle and all with my current "boyfriend" at the time that she despised. In a way, my love for him affected quite a few of my female relationships, both good and bad but I guess love does that to all your other relationships. It is a test to see who is left standing after something powerful has moved through your life. If a home falls apart after a hurricane, you don't move into a similar home and wait for the same effect to take place? I am sorry I have not seen or heard from Sabby, but I love her none the less and I pray she is happier than when we last left.

And now on to the Sheriff. I guess you could call him my first love, a few came before him but those loves were more of a brotherly love as time went on. The Sheriff swept me off my feet, older, handsome, educated, home owner, financially stable, car owner, independent, funny as hell, sarcastic, witty, and even loved to cook. Is there anything else any woman in the world is looking for? I was a naive recent high school grad who thought, wow this is what it is like to envision your life with someone else. Before him all men were stupid and good only for what they could do for me. In the 6 years that I dated before him, I never thought relationships were good for anything. Boys were toys for me, something to keep me busy and something to show off to my friends. My sheriff was different. Did I mention he carried a firearm - legally? Excitement to boot!!Once the sheriff realized he was a king and I was a little girl he was playing games with, he ripped out my heart and put it in jail along with the convicts he locked up ona regular basis. I discovered later he had a penchant for PYT's - pretty young things. The letters in horrible english from broken hearted school girls were proof enough. The guys at his station got a kick out of that. A year later, I plotted my revenge and conquered his best friend and partner. A year after that we decided to stop hurting each other and became real friends. No sex, just good company and dependability - everything you could want in a friend. I thank him for the lessons he taught me about love and men. His pain allowed me to build a wall which would not be broken for another 5 years. He is the man I have called when ex boyfriends got locked up, friends have car trouble, I am stuck in Harlem at 3:00 a.m., I need a few hundred to hold me over, I want someone in the city to go to lunch with, and any other thing that comes to mind. I always think once I get off the phone with him after thanking him for yet another favor, "Does he still feel guilty from 1996". It doesn't matter. He does it with no sweat off his back. So thanks to my sheriff for always being a friend. I can't say that about most of the shitty men in my life.

Happy Birthday Sabby and Sheriff. Damn yall getting old!


Thursday, April 29, 2004

Jailhouse Love

So I am coming in from work (I actually did some work today!) check the mail box and low and behold I see a hand written letter addressed to me from "Durham Correctional Facility"!!! I never get actual mail - when you are my age EVERYTHING is like Beyonce sang - Bills, Bills, Bills. Immediately I run down a mental list of some of the memorable southern brothers I used to roll with in my days of pimpin. I consider myself a cute girl, well dressed, born and raised NY'er and I have a lil bootyliciousness going on so needless to say, I was very popular with the home grown thugs of VA, NC, SC, DC, etc. I was attracted to how easy they are and the flash of the lifestyle. I would go check my best girl who moved to VA when she was 14, hit the mall and within minutes we had guys taking us on shopping sprees and out to eat. There is not much else to do down there and truth be told, southeners are a little slow.

By freshman year in college, I had one guy named Corey sending me plane tickets every other week so he could see me. He would book me a room at the local Sheraton and we would spend the weekend at the local mall, bars and of course my favorite - the go-cart track! That was one of the few things I looked forward to during my freshman year at NYU. I actually thought it was cute that I had this guy attached to me like puppy who wants to play. After a while I realized dating a guy in the fast lane was not for me. Long periods alone waiting for them to "handle business", never knowing their phone number or address or real name, constantly feeling like people are watching you. After a while I would pick fights with him to be done with the situation. He would send me cards begging me to come back. He said he thought I was the one because after all, he always wanted a NY chick and he finally had one, or so he thought. I felt guilty when he started to catch feelings. He had no idea I was in it for the money (that and it made my boyfriend in NY very jealous). I guess I have always been addicted to something, shopping is my vice and clothes and shoes are my drugs of choice. Guys use women for sex before they grow up (some never do!), women use men for other things (father figure, material goods,etc.) before we realize what relationships are all about.

Well by now you must know this letter I speak of is from Corey. He tells me he found God and actually apologized for everything we went through back when we were dating. I guess you don't realize how memorable you are to the people in your past until they pop up in ways like this. Although I have always been unlucky in love, I guess I have always been remembered judging by the calls I get from men of my past. See what happens when you keep the same cell number and address for years! Just when I thought I put my foolish, childish ways far behind me, there it is in your mailbox one day. I have no choice but to write him back. I am glad I have moved past those days. I am sorry it took him a trip to the pen to do the same thing.


Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Female Lawyers - There are happy ones!!!

Today, I heard one of the best things I could hear from a woman at an event. She was a senior associate at a mid-sized CT firm focused on IP law and she told me she had found home life/work life balance. She actually told me she was happy. She had time for her husband and her kids and managed to bill enough to probably make partner next year. I thought to myself - wow there is hope for my friend. She recently graduated from Columbia Law and is nervous about joining a firm. Heck, her live-in lawyer boyfriend (they met at Columbia is already looking to leave his firm. Can women have great careers, make loads of money, have kids and gain weight, get skinny again, meet a hot successful guy and keep him all in one life??? I can't even give my one year old puppy and my senior dog (pictures to come) all the attention I would like, and I try to stick to no more than 8 hours a day. Know a woman who has it all, I mean really has it all. Not some crappy job or some half ass man - I am a Leo, we don't settle. Hot bod, great job she loves, good work-out schedule, juggles a man (or men :o), kids, home, etc. Tell me her story. I want to see a schedule of how she does it. Maybe I could learn something about my schedule habits. It would be best to learn now, because when I get older I can't imagine it getting any easier. This gets me empathizing with Trish on the Bachelor. I know she is an uber bitch, but think about it - she is just a woman looking to get it all.


Tuesday, April 27, 2004

MTV sucks

Everyone knows that all the Bunim Murray shows are taped and edited ready for broadcast long before we meet the cast. So why does MTV decide to throw you a loop every now and then and not play a new episode every week. I am kind of pissed there was no new episode last night, so I have to rant. In other news, I was thinking about the cast they have in San Diego now and wondering how long it will take Robin and Cameron to take it off for playboy. Trishelle did it (we expected that), Arissa did it (she's a rapper now, its required), heck even Katie did it (no explanation there). I am taking bets. We still have time because we won't hear about them until the show is complete.

Well today is one of those nice days where I don't have to keep a boring 9-5 schedule. This is one of the perks of my job. I woke up at 10:00, walked my dogs, cooked breakfast ( I don't cook, Atkins is forcing me to - boiled eggs are not as hard as I thought) and I will be hitting the gym later. I'll come back, shower and hop on a 4:00 p.m. Acela to check into a nice hotel and order up every meat on the menu (heck its on the firm).

One more reason MTV sucks before I go - it's hip hop week on MTV. Why is Beyonce's naughty girl video on the countdown. Last time I checked, hip hop and R&B are two different genres. I am praying I never have to hear B flowin' on a track. And no Beyonce, attending Beanie Seagel's murder trial on Friday does not make you an honorary Hip Hop artist. I'm out!


Sunday, April 25, 2004

Real World vs. Road Rules Inferno Spoilers

I admit it. I am a reality TV slut. But the excitement is seeing how stupid will make themselves look on TV, I don't need the suspense of knowing what will happen next week. So with that in mind, I was able to dig up some dirst on the Inferno final episodes. Next to the inferno for the ladies is Kendall vs. Leah. As the commercials have been foreshadowing, the Real World team wants Leah gone and we she heads to the inferno against Kendall, Kendall is the one that returns to her team. Despite their bickering while on the treadmills during the inferno in which Katie wins, before leaving the Inferno compound, Julie pens a letter to Katie with a keychain in it and tells her to be strong and use that keychain for her new car keys. Timmy gets to the letter before Katie and takes it and reads it. With Katie as the unoffical Real World mascot, The Real World team conspires with Katie to pay her $40k if she screws up her team to help Real World win the finale. She contemplates it but surprisingly does not bite and the Road Rules once again wins a challenge. If anyone has any details they would like to post about this show or other reality shows, please post a comment or shoot me an e-mail at Gotta run. Sopranos is coming on!


Saturday, April 24, 2004

Blog Skins - My blog gets laid more than me

I first heard about blog skins and instantly thought about Tribe Calld Quest who used the term skins to be synonomous with sex or getting laid. So my initial visual image was of my blog bonin' some other blog. Interesting.... Anyway, now I know the truth - blog skins can change the appearance of my blog, so now I just need to know how to use them. Any assistance to help a new inexperienced blogger would be appreciated. Hit me at


Friday, April 23, 2004

I can't believe I am job hunting

Well my boss has been off in Nevis since Tuesday and it seems everyone has decided to make my life hell at work while he has been gone. First Tokyo partner called - he is the devil incarnate. He always has a meeting like yesterday and always wants a firm brochure - which we don't have! Then you spend hours preparing materials for him and customizing it only to have him continue to change his mind until he ends up approving something that looks vaguely familiar - almost identical to the presentation you last prepared for him! Asshole. I handled Tokyo partner with relative ease. Then some other partner decides they have a meeting on Tuesday and need a folder. They figured, I told your boss Brian, let's not reinvent the wheel - can we get him on the phone? Uh, no Mr. Important partner. Brian is in Nevis. I don't think your folders qualify as an emergency situation worth phoning Nevis for. Handled Mr. Important Partner with ease as well. Then the unthinkable happens. The acutal work I did this week that is part of my job description gets screwed up because the IT guy oversleeps with his new baby and shows up late to start the presentation. Oh, yeah senior boss, that's all my fault because I forgot to call him this morning to get him up and drive him in to work. So now we are going to trial so we can see where to put Blame. I say Blame is part of the IT dept., but they want to beleive that Blame is my co-worker. There is no one named Blame in my dept. So that is how we get to the title - I am job hunting. Just sniffing out opportunity, not making any moves yet. I can't wait to fill my boss in so he can tell me his opinion.


Thursday, April 22, 2004

Welcome to the Terror Dome!

This is my first post on my new blog. I kept doing random searches for cool designer clothes like Louis Verdad and Ella Moss and discovered them on other people's blogs who had discussed them. Last night I just decided, I had to have one. So being true to my impulsive self - here I am! I am trying to figure out how I am going to balance my online time between shopping and my new blog which I hope to update a few times a week at least. For any strangers out there checking me out, I am a NY'er born and raised, prep school educated and gainfully employed by one of the largest law firms in the US as an events manager. I love my job - probably because they pay me just enough to buy new shoes every month and shop whenever I want. My doorman is best friends with the mailman and UPS because of me. I love to shop but hate stores - the internet is where it's at. No nasty sales clerks, no lines, no carrying bags and sometimes NO TAX. A big deal here in NY where tax is a whopping 8.625%. I must go to work in the morning so I am going to bed now, but I'll be back once I figure out how to post links, pictures, etc. If anyone had any tips on how to make my blog more personalized please shoot me an e-mail at

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